Ahh the joys of motherhood.

Tuesday I tried to buy new glasses. I am pretty sure I tried on 94% of the glasses Lens Crafters had to offer. Many of them more than once forgetting that I had already tried them on. It took some time. But, I got them all picked out and after talking in circles with the sales guy we decide to put the glasses on hold while we wait for Target to fax over my prescription. Wednesday I find out my prescription has expired...in October. Of course it has. So I quickly get an appointment for 5:20pm. I talk to Trav, he is going to pick up the beast. Good plan right? Guess what? Plans change!

Travis had to work late...again. So I went and picked up the boy and off to the mall we went. Without a stroller. Awesome. Because who doesn't like lugging around a 12lb car seat with a 15lb 15oz baby snuggled inside? I know I do! And, as I have never taken a baby to an eye exam, I wasn't sure how this was going to work out, but whatcha gonna do?

So I get there right on time, go to check in, and learn that the boy that made my appointment apparently didn't save it, so someone else got it. I say "boy" because there is no way that kid was over 14. Perhaps I am just that old. Moving on. So they tell me they can probably squeeze me in...if I can wait a little bit. I look down at my feet and see my boy smiling at me with a stuffed frog hanging out of his mouth by one of its feet and I figure sure! Why not? He'll be fine! And he totally was. He was smiling at everyone and was only fussy for a little bit near the end of the exam when it was very clear the entertainment value of the frog was rapidly diminishing.

So we get through the exam, argue a bit when they tried to overcharge me for it, and go to buy the glasses. I am now holding Alex as there is no way he is going to be happy staying in his car seat any longer. All the employees keep stopping and chatting with him. Everything went very smoothly.

Until....until she was going through the different lens options with me. Thank goodness that card that has all the lens options is heavily laminated. He hadn't eaten for two hours. And it happened anyway. He barfed on the counter. Not a lot by any means, but any amount of barf on a counter in a Lens Crafters is a lot. I am super excited to go back and pick up my glasses. I think I will leave Alex at home.

Shots for Alex...and some others for me

The past week has been insane-o. And the holidays aren't over yet. Not by a long shot. We have New Year's to deal with and then off to Minnesota for the Julius Family Christmas. This is all following Christmas Eve and Christmas at my parents' house, my birthday, Alex's half birthday and a six month doctor's appointment from hell.

As I am now officially 32, I am hoping I will learn one of these days that it really really sucks the next day when you stay up late drinking wine and shaking your booty to your new Wii game with your lady friends. Today is not proving to be my best performance. I got a message from daycare that I forgot a blanket for Alex...being that he is one of very few boys there...he is currently swaddled all in pink for his nap. They sent a picture.

I went ahead and decided my birthday present to myself was going to be taking Alex to his six month check-up. Happy Birthday to me! Not so much. All was going swimmingly until I was informed he was once again getting shots. FIVE OF THEM. He already was more than a bit whimpery because of that stinkin' second tooth that just will not get through already! And he was about a 1/2 hour overdue for a feed-fest. And then they stabbed his chubby little thighs FIVE TIMES. He was so sad and mad and hurty. It sucked. I was within a caterpillar's eyelash of crying right along with him.

But all was healed with a birthday lunch at Laredo's with my mom, sister and her kids. Mmmmm...burritos. And then healed even further at Kari's house. Appetizer Extravaganza! I have said it before, but it warrants saying again: These people make some kick-ass food. The Extravaganza was deliciously fabulous. And it was complete with Lemon Drop shots. And a ridiculous amount of wine. Hence the booty shaking and blanket forgetting.

Dear Boppy & Vick's, I LOVE YOU

As mentioned before, this cold is wreaking havoc on Alex's sleeping. During the day, he has been taking naps in a Boppy to keep him propped up to hopefully help with congestion. Last night we teamed the Boppy up with some Vick's Vapor Baby Rub. Winner winner chicken dinner. He fell asleep at 7:30, stirred for half a minute at 11:15, and then slept until 5:45 this morning. I only woke up a couple times out of habit. But the monitor in his room is hyper-sensitive and the humidifier provides some awesome white noise, so I quickly fell back asleep each time. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the sheer exhaustion...

Be Gone Cold Demons!

The cold has moved. It is now not quite so much in his nose...now it's more in his chest. Which means he is coughing and has a very gravel-y Demi Moore-like voice. There is also a new sound accompanying this cold/teething mess. It's one note deeper than a dog whistle and varies in volume depending on how irritated he is. It either comes out as a whine or a scream. But it's the pitch that is killin' me. This sound isn't audible the whole time. That's how high it is. It goes in and out of human hearing range. The dog is not a big fan of this development. The second he starts punching us in the ear drums with it, she runs for the door. She stands there with a look on her face like, "I didn't sign up for this shit. I'm outta here."

I feel really bad for him. And it sucks because aside from a humidifier and some Vick's there is really not much we can do for him. Travis is having a seriously hard time with it. It is just about killing him that he can't fix it. He just sits there holding him with this sad, helpless look. It tears him up. I think that might be a big part of the definition of a loving father. Good sweet Lord. Travis is a father. This whole being parents thing is still so freaking weird.

6 Months

Here are some of the pictures Gramma took on Sunday. Please pretend you can't see the barf on his shirt.

It's a shame his eyes aren't very blue isn't it?

Ponce de Le'on he is not

I have heard of the fountain of youth. Alex is the fountain of barf. He spits up all the time. There is no amount of digestion time that will ensure you will not get splattered with spit up. And if he doesn't have any formula in his belly, no matter! He will just spit up something pretty much clear if he is excited enough. You know it's something of note when his Grandma compares him to a puppy that pees on the floor when it is excited.

The thing that kills me is that it isn't anywhere near predictable. Sometimes if you bounce him around he barfs, sometimes not. And then there are those special times when he is just sitting there and a geyser of formula comes out for no apparent reason whatsoever. That last one would be what happened mid-photo shoot on Sunday at Grandpa and Grandma's. In some he has on a bib...which has entered his wardrobe as a necessary accessory. But, being the wise mother I am, I decided to take the bib off for the pictures. One picture later...barf. Which is why in every picture beyond #4 there are two noticeable barf streaks down the front of his shirt. (The link to the pictures is being a jerk so I will post the pictures a bit later.)

I've said it before...it's a good thing he's cute.

Per yesterday's prediction

It's like I can tell the future. The boy woke up, was stuffy, and cried when I layed him back down...EACH TIME. I ended up in the recliner for 2&1/2 hours during the hours I am supposed to be in my comfy bed. I am tired and my back hurts. How long can an infant remain congested? I mean really. This has gone on long enough. He needs sleep, I need sleep, he needs to be able to breathe through his nose. Make it happen.

K, I think I am done whining...for now.

Oh Pillow, How I Missed Thee

10 hours. The boy slept for 10 hours last night. I slept for 8. 8! It was delicious. There was a mild fussy moment around 3 this morning when I thought all my hopes and dreams were once again being bulldozed beyond recognition. But the fussiness only lasted about 2 minutes, never got above a low roar, and back to dreamland he went. Until 5:30 this morning. I am relishing in the moment as long as possible. Keeping the rested feeling fresh in my mind so tonight when he wakes up 16 times filled with the rage of Medusa, and I end up sleeping in the recliner, I can dream of last night and the comforts of my bed.

In other news, fruits and veggies are going great! I managed to not screw up green beans the second time around and turns out he loves them. This little contraption has made the whole ordeal infinitely easier. My big food processor is ear piercingly loud and wasn't really getting things to the puree level it claims to be able to produce. Anyway, about 10 minutes of steaming and then 45 seconds in that little food processor and WHAMO! food for he with the squishy cheeks. I may have gotten a bit carried away with the carrots last night. Who knew that half of one of the big bags of baby carrots would make that much carrot puree? I filled an entire ice cube tray and still had enough left over for him to eat for next three days. It is really gonna suck if he doesn't like carrots.

Well.....

So he didn't wake up to eat at all last night. Yay! Right? Kinda. The night started off good enough. He fell asleep without fuss at about 7. I suppose it is easy to fall asleep without fuss when you fall asleep eating. I have to admit I am totally jealous. I love eating. And I really like sleeping. Combine the two? Pure magic.

Anywho, the beast stayed asleep until about 11pm. And then all hell broke loose. He woke up. And he was really stuffy. And really pissed that he was really stuffy. I mean really pissed. At first there were just some little whimpers coming from his crib. But those little whimpers rapidly increased to angry donkey screaming. So we tried rocking. No dice. Downstairs we go to sit in front of the humidifier and rock. Slightly better. We are now down to a moderately annoyed donkey. Add some Tylenol. Ahhhh....there we have it. So I figure I will put him back to bed. Instant angry donkey. So back upstairs we go and plop back into the rocking chair. This time I am armed with a blanket and a pillow for my back. I am in it for the long haul. And there we slept until about 1am. At that point, I had to try to put him down again. Success! Not only did he stay asleep, but he stayed asleep until 5:30am.

This morning was a great morning. Which I was a tad surprise about given last night's happenings. He was in a super good mood. While we were playing, he shocked the pants right off me. HE played peek-a-boo with ME. He initiated the game and kept it going. He had a burp cloth in his hands and he held it up in front of his face until I would ask where the baby went. And then he would pull it down really fast and giggle at me with the biggest slobberiest smile a baby can make. His little chubby arms outstretched and holding that burp cloth up in front of his face...oh my cute. I cannot get over the fact that he totally gets peek-a-boo. Like not just gets it that it is fun when someone pops out from hiding, but gets it enough to be the hider. And this on the heels of rolling from his back to his stomach last night. Add those to the haircut and the tooth. He'll be driving soon. I'm sure of it.

You are getting very sleepy

Since Alex got my cold, his version of sleeping through the night has abruptly ended. So we are back to trying to figure out how to get this accomplished again. As it stands now, he goes to bed around 7, but then wakes up around 2am or so to eat. Based on how much he eats before he goes to bed, I have a very hard time believing he is actually hungry. He has at least 6oz of formula and about three tablespoons of whatever fruit or veggie we are currently smearing on his face. I am thinking it is more out of habit than hunger that he is waking up.

One remedy for this is the Cry It Out method. I am willing to try this, but I really would like a different approach if possible. Not because I think crying it out is bad for him, but because I will not be getting any sleep during that time and that seems awfully counterproductive. So I asked one of the daycare teachers what she did with her three kids. With all three she decreased the amount of the bottle each night. And then when she got down to just a 1oz bottle, she put water in it so it wasn't as yummy. She after that all three of her kids stopped waking up to eat. Interesting. Interesting enough that we are giving it a shot. Tonight, Alex will be down to 4oz.

I was really excited Saturday night when he didn't wake up to eat at all. He slept from 7:30 to 5am. It was glorious. My hopes were sky high. And then at 2am this morning, he took a sledgehammer to the pedestal on which my precious hopes and dreams of a full night's sleep were so delicately placed. 2am, awake and wanting to eat. Oh he got his bottle. Only 4&1/2oz though. I think he got the message.

Brrrrrrrrrrr!

It is insanely cold right now. This morning my truck was reading -5 degrees outside. Negative 5. It's not right. I am not a big fan of winter to begin with, but when you add in temperatures like this, it straight up sucks. The dog won't even stay outside for longer than is necessary. She runs out, gets things done and immediately is at the door to come back in...after almost wiping out on the ice on the steps...every single time. She is not a quick study.

Now that the boy has no hair to protect his delicate little head, frostbite protection has moved to the forefront. No, I am not over the haircut yet. He doesn't spend much time outside right now, but since my boogers freeze upon stepping out of the door, heat retention is obviously important. However, I cannot imagine trying to get a winter coat on an infant, much less being able to buckle a car seat strap around an infant wearing temperature appropriate gear. Enter the Bundle Me. This thing rules! It is super snuggly, zips up the sides, and keeps the little monster warm. Now if I could just figure out how to stop him from flipping the top back down after I put it over his head for protection, we would be all set.

From Rockstar to Recruit

For the last couple of weeks, Travis has been on my case about getting Alex's hair cut. I am not a big proponent of this idea. I love his hair. It is out of control. It stands up where it wants to, it lays down where it wants to. It cracks me up. Travis has thought for some time that his hair is not alright. He thinks our sweet little furry baby looks ridiculous. I think he looks like a punk rocker, but baby-size.

Yesterday, Travis's mistaken opinion was seconded by Kari. Loudly seconded. Repeatedly seconded.

We had a snow day. I was working from home, she was sitting on my couch. I casually made a comment about the fact that Travis wants to cut his hair. She was all, YES! Let's do it! Get the clippers! And I was all, Whoa whoa whoa missy. Have you not seen how freaking adorable this kid's hair is? It rules. So I sent Travis a message saying he needed to get home or Kari was going to go in with the clippers humming. He was absolutely no help. His message back? "Ok, just make sure to video it!" Umm..what? No. No no no. He was supposed to come back with something about how Alex is so little, so young, so not needing a hair cut! But he didn't. And with that message, Kari was unstoppable.

So into the kitchen/hair salon we went. We turned the clippers on and off a couple times while I was holding him to get him used to the noise of it so it didn't freak him out. Then into the Bumbo chair he went. Kari was armed with a clippers. I was armed with a video camera. And it began. And I freaked out.

Clicking this link will take you to the horror. I promise Alex is only upset for about the first 15 seconds or so. He actually liked the clippers on his head.

I will readily admit, I think it looks cute. But good gravy does he look old. He's not my furry little baby anymore. He looks like a little boy. Travis loves it. He says he looks tough. I say HE IS FIVE MONTHS OLD! He shouldn't look tough! He should be squishy and furry and slobbery. But, I guess two out of three ain't bad.

Sweet Potato Pie

The applesauce experience didn't have me, or Alex for that matter, very excited about the solid food thing. He didn't really seem that interested and it was very apparent that he was on the fence about apples.

So yesterday I tried to make some different food for him. The jury is out on whether you should start with fruits or veggies. Some doctors say if you start with fruits, you will end up with a kid that will only eat fruit. Some say that is totally bunk and as long as you have the kid try different stuff you are fine. So I figured we will go every other during the introduction phase. First a fruit, then a veggie, then a fruit, so on and so forth. So we started with applesauce. I was going to do green beans next to really throw the kid a curve ball, but it turns out I suck at making green beans into a baby-approved form. You want them as a side dish to a great steak? That I can do. Making them into a paste? Epic fail. I'm thinking the fat frozen ones will provide the results I am looking for better than the skinny fresh ones...we shall see.

Not to be defeated, I tried my hand at sweet potatoes. Success! And not that much effort. I will say, a day later, I am still impressed with how much puree comes from one sweet potato. It was amazing. I thought we were going to have sweet potatoes until he is 43. But then I fed it to him. We will not have enough to last through tomorrow at the pace that kid was eating it last night. He was a maniac! The scene between bites was startling. Mouth open immediately after swallowing. Arms flailing. Legs kicking. Eyes wide open and focused on the spoon that isn't getting to his mouth fast enough...Mom, the spoon. Get some of that stuff on it and in my mouth. The spoon! Why isn't it here yet?!?! MOM!!! He looked like a starving baby bird. I swear he was noticeably heavier after eating. No joke. That kid pounded some sweet potato.

I realize that sweet potato has got to be the sweetest of all veggies, but whatever, it doesn't count as a fruit. Maybe we will try green beans (again) next to make sure we aren't cheating the veggies.

Go Away Boogers!

It's official. Alex has my cold. I feel so bad. He is super congested. Which means he doesn't sleep hardly at all and has a hard time eating. Needless to say, it has not been pleasant in our house. Not because Alex is cranky. He is taking this cold in stride. It is not pleasant because of me pretty much. I still don't feel up to par and I am exhausted, which in turn lowers the feeling good level. Catch 22's are fun!

Travis isn't sick. Thank goodness. He didn't have to work a full day today, so he helped out with the nighttime madness last night. I spent a majority of the night in the recliner with Alex so he could sleep almost sitting up. I'd put him in his crib after he had been asleep for a while and he would last for a bit, but then get too stuffed up again and wake up. Trav got up to soothe him a couple times and then got up with him when he needed to eat, and then stay awake for almost two hours AT 4:00AM. He brought the snot filled beast to me at 5:45 so he could shower and get ready for work. I was able to get Alex to fall asleep after about 15 minutes of rocking. We both walked around getting ready this morning like zombies.

Next time I get sick I think I am going to wear some sort of antibacterial suit complete with gas mask. I will keep my germs to myself thank you very much.

Sleepy Sniffles

Last night was so much better than Tuesday night. He slept for a total of 10 hours with one little break for a quick bottle at 10pm. I can totally handle that. And we got to sneek in a nap this morning before we had to leave. I feel like an entirely different person today. I still have the cold, and a cough has been added to the yucky repertoire, but it is not totally kicking my ass today. Yesterday, my ass was kicked. Up and down and all around.

I feel terrible though...I am pretty sure Alex got my cold. He is still all stuffy, but now there is sneezing and a little cough involved. I really tried to not give it to him. Lots o' hand sanitizer and diverted breathing. Apparently that wasn't enough. Poor little guy has a cold. I must reiterate how fricking cute baby sneezes are though. So cute. Second only to baby snorts.

We have also moved on from rice cereal. Rice cereal is so last week. Apples are where it's at. The first attempt at apples produced absolutely awesome expressions. It was very hard to tell if he liked it or hated it or was just plain confused. But he kept eating so we figured he couldn't have hated it too much. Try two was much more successful. It ought to be interesting to see how he reacts to each new food. In a couple days I think we may try some sweet potatoes. Or some green beans. The anticipation is almost palatable!

Just getting started

We are officially one night into this glorious teeth cutting process. I quit. A teething baby is NOT a sleeping baby. Holy shit. Last night was horrendous. It went a little something like this:
7:30pm: went to sleep after a half hour fight and a dose of Tylenol
1:00am: woke up to eat, taking forever because of teething induced stuffiness
3:00am: woke up, got re-nuk'd and fell back asleep
3:30am: see 3:00am
4:00am: see 3:30am
4:30am: ate again, took forever again
5:00am: after being down for 0.2 seconds, woke up, re-nuk-ing not an option, only would sleep while sitting in the rocking chair with me.
5:30am: woke up and went downstairs with Travis
6:10am: took a short nap in his bouncy seat
6:27am: up for the morning

Oh. My. God. Are you kidding me? I mean really...ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

The level of tired I am today is reminiscent of about 3 months ago...but add a head cold that is seeming to get worse with each passing millisecond.

Take the hint

From here on out, I will pay attention to the symptoms. The teething symptoms that is. A tooth popped through today. I guess while he was having a bottle at daycare, he was fussy. His teacher looked down and sure enough there was the tip of a tooth! He is teething!

I can't wait to see it. I am excited, but a little sad. I love his gummy smile. I don't know if I am ready to see him with teeth. I realize his teeth don't care if I am ready or not and they will be showing up on their own schedule thank you very much. But we all know how well I deal with change. I was just thinking last night that he could stay this size and age for a couple years and I would be happy. Probably not healthy for me to ignore the plain and simple fact that he is going to grow up. Whatever. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it...slowly and with shaky change-fearing legs.

Eat dammit!

The last two nights Alex has not eaten nearly as much rice cereal as he has been. You wouldn't think that was that big of a deal right? WRONG. So so wrong. He immediately went back to his old nighttime eating schedule. The one where he eats every four hours. Yeah, that one. Awesome. Combine that with the stuffy nose pace of eating, and you get one tired mommy.

It's not shocking how quickly I became used to sleeping at night, but wow was I enjoying it. You know how they say you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone? Joni Mitchell has never sung truer words. I knew it was good, but I didn't realize how good. I admit, I was a little annoyed that he was waking up at 4:30am after sleeping all night. I would give cactus a deep tissue massage to get that wake up time back. And it's only been two nights without it!

Perhaps a bigger issue with this is that I am getting a cold. I am so tired without getting out of bed every four hours, that I just about cried at 3:00 this morning right along with Alex while I was making a bottle for him. But what do you? You get up make the bottle, feed the kid, and hope for some sympathy somewhere along the way. But then you realize you got yourself into this mess, so ya suck it up and get up in four hours.

Mr. Snaffalopagus

The boy is stuffed up. I feel so bad for him. The snorting is much more frequent, which makes me laugh as I am feeling bad for him. Since there are no other cold-like symptoms, I am thinking/told this is yet another symptom of teething. I seriously feel like anything and everything can be blamed on teething. Is your baby drooling? Teething. Are you baby's cheeks flush? Teething. Is he stuffed up, chewing on his hands, not hungry, feverish, cranky? Fucking teething. I just want the damn things here already!

Anyway, the stuffed up thing sucks because these little monsters breathe through their noses while they eat. Not so easy when there are boogers the size of Montana in that tiny little nose. So he takes forever to consume one bottle since he has to try to breathe through his mouth while sucking formula down his throat. Lots o' sputtering, coughing, and spitting.

I am not kidding about the size of the boogers this kid produces. I do not understand it. How can something so small create something so big? And how does it fit in there? 'Cause let me tell you, once it is out, the dimensional math does not seem to work. And, yes, I am aware there is probably no such thing as "dimensional math." Shut it.

Will it last? Please! Please! Please!

I am afraid to say it out loud for fear of him hearing and making sure he proves me wrong, but here goes. Alex has slept through the night three out of the last four nights. Ten hours each time. Saturday night was the only night he woke up in the middle of the night to eat. I'm thinkin' the cereal is a good thing.

There's just one problem...the ten hours, yeah...they start at 6:30pm. Let's see, quick math, carry the one, that puts us at 4:30 in the A.M. for a wake up time. Oh goodie goodie gumdrops! The newest morning schedule has the boy waking up sometime between 4 and 4:30 to eat. Then we play for a bit. It would be nice if he would go back to sleep after eating, but let me tell you, 10 hours of sleep produces one well rested and ready to go baby. Sleep after eating is not an option. I managed to coerce some extra snuggles this morning, but that was only because I was rhythmically rocking him while he ate in an attempt to lull him back to SleepyTown. Snuggles yes, sleep no. The second he picked his head up and looked at me I could see it...TIME TO PLAY MOM!!! So we play. Well, he plays, I watch him play while interjecting the occasional funny face or sound as usual. Then, around 6 or so, he starts to get sleepy. So I lay him down and he takes a nap. As do I. We get back up around 6:45 and finish getting ready. It is working out pretty well. And as long as I go to bed at a decent time, I am getting some good sleep. Although I will quickly and openly admit, if those ten hours could start at 8:30 instead of 6:30, I would pee myself with happiness.

How the hell did I get here?

My life has very little resemblance to what it used to be. I went from owning a bar to working in an office. Being on my feet all day and half the night most times, to sitting on my ass. And in turn going from a tolerable size to a size I never thought I would see on the tag of my pants. Only having to care for a four legged furry lovey sweet girl, to taking care of a furry two legged sweet boy that can't eat on his own and poops in his pants. Going from "Where's the next bar?" to "Where's my couch and comfy clothes?" You get the picture.

This weekend really drove the point home. Friday night was reminiscent of my old life. We had friends over, made a lot of food, drank A LOT of wine. Alex went to bed right as friends showed up and stayed asleep the whole time. He even slept through Kari, Mariah, Molly and I playing Super Mario Brothers. I do not understand how he did it. There was a lot of yelling. Broken up only by insane hyena laughing. But because he slept the whole time, it really felt like my old life. I got to play and be loud and didn't have to feed or change a baby. But then Saturday happened.

We got up around 7. 7am. On a Saturday. We all had breakfast and got ready to go meet the Pastor for Alex's upcoming baptism. On the way home we went to Target, and aside from a few items, got nothing other than baby stuff. Went home and made dinner. Then, I was asleep on the couch as soon as the music to Saturday Night Live started...at 10:30. 10:30pm. On a Saturday. And then? Then Sunday happened. I got up with Alex at 6am. Travis has a new, and hopefully very temporary, schedule so he was already gone for work. Alex ate and we hung out for a while. He was mostly playing in or on various baby apparatuses, I was doing laundry and dishes and making faces at him. Then he went down for a nap and I decided to work out. While peddling my ass to nowhere on our stationary bike, I looked up at the clock. 8:01am. I was working out at 8 o'clock in the morning after already being up for two hours, ON A SUNDAY.

A Testament to Preparedness

Being ahead of the game is not my usual spot. I am usually running around like my hair's on fire trying to get things done. I have never figured this out. It makes me nuts when things are planned. But even when every last detail is planned, there is always something I forget. Ipso facto: crazy hair on fire person. Example: I planned a time during our wedding reception for a garter and bouquet toss. I forgot to order a toss bouquet and couldn't find my garter that I never put on.

There is one part of my life that I have forced myself to be prepared. My mornings. As much as I hate doing it, I now make sure before going to bed that all bottles are filled, the formula portioner thingy is set, a spare set of clothes is in the diaper bag, usually my lunch is made. Also, depending on my ambition with working out and Travis's scheduled morning departure time, I will sometimes shower at night.

Most mornings having all of these things done means Alex and I have a little extra play time. Or, on some glorious days, after him eating breakfast and playing a bit, we both get a little nap before we have to go. Those are examples of most mornings. This morning however, I was laying in bed, half awake at best. Alex was in his pack 'n' play making noises that he was awake, but content. Probably examining his hands that he has miraculously found for the 14 thousandth time....they never get old for him. I was debating how long he would remain entertained when I realized something was off. It was waaaaay too bright outside. Huh, weird, I thought. Then I looked at my clock. 7:10. I'm sorry, WHAT?! In order for Alex and I to be at our designated locations on time in the morning we have to be pulling out of the driveway by 7:25. 15 minutes. Awesome.

This is where preparedness gets rewarded BIG TIME. We made it. I am still beaming I am so proud of myself. I managed to get dressed, brush my teeth, pull my hair up into something presentable, put on make-up, change the baby, make a quick breakfast and be pulling out of the driveway at 7:28. I didn't even forget the baby! I will admit I ate my breakfast in the car, but that is nothing new. And Alex went to daycare in the onesie he slept in, but he's a baby. Aside from barfing on his clothes, which by some act of everything Holy he didn't, his clothes don't really get dirty. Especially not overnight. So there.

Think she's hinting at something?

Oh my dear puppy Aiden. I love her a lot. Too much some may say. To those "some" I say suck it. She is my sweet little girl. But she may just be the final locking strap on the straight jacket that is lurking in the shadows of my life.

She is insane. This has been a known fact since shortly after we got her. She goes berserk if anyone walks on her sidewalk. She can escape at any time from a completely fenced in yard. She has broken through every screen in our living room, more than once each, when the windows were left open and we ran some errands. I realize we should have maybe learned the first time that leaving the windows open was not a good idea, but damn. She has also knocked a box fan out of a window only to break through the screen to bust out of the house and run around the neighborhood trying to figure out where we went. Oh yeah, this box fan was in a window UPSTAIRS. Meaning, she jumped off our freaking roof.

She also shreds any sort of window covering if she is scared or thinks something is amiss outside. We have gone through quite a few blinds, especially since she is afraid of thunderstorms and fireworks. July is fun in our house. Wanna see? You can because we can never have the blinds closed as they would be vulnerable to attack!

I am not sure what scared her yesterday, but ho-ly shit. 6 out of 6 of the mini blinds downstairs were completely demolished. Mini blind schrapnel in every room. One of the fancy faux wood blinds in the kitchen has bite marks that make me believe she has a grizzly bear hiding in the attic we don't know about. The sun catcher behind the blind in Alex's room; in pieces. She went ape while we were at work. I have no idea what set her off...there was no thunderstorm and I am pretty sure people are not setting off fireworks for Thanksgiving. Although they should. The amount of glorious food at my fingertips is far beyond deserving of a celebration with explosives.

Aside from yesterday, she has been amazing the past four and a half months. She loves Alex so much, and she hasn't complained once about not going to the dog park. She used to get to go to the dog park almost everyday. She has gone once since He Who Giggles and Poops A Lot has entered our lives. Once. I feel so guilty. She loves the park. You can literally see her happiness when she is there. I can't count how many times I have heard, "Wow! That is one happy dog!" from other dog owners at the park. It is her nirvana. And I am too busy/tired/brain fried to take her there. I am totally sucking in the dog owner department.

I guess I will just have to keep her in fresh blinds until we can figure out an easy way to get us all to the park.

Ha ha ha!

This kid's laugh is fantastic. The initial giggle is pretty much everything you can expect a baby's laugh to be. But the second part, the part where he is drawing air back in. That part sounds like a donkey with a sore throat.

One of the teachers at daycare keeps apologizing for tickling him so much. Apparently she has a slight addiction to his laugh. She said she felt kinda bad since it has to get annoying for him. And I was all, yeah...right...you shouldn't bug him so much BY MAKING HIM LAUGH. If she only knew how much I pestered that kid while he was still getting cooked, she would never apologize again. Seriously, the people at this daycare are so amazing. Anyway, he is super ticklish and pretty easily amused, so extracting giggles is not a difficult task.

I am having an issue getting this video to download, so follow the link for an example of aforementioned giggles. Please try to plug your ears when the adult horribly fake laugh is audible between Alex's laughs. I realize the noise is comparable to a lion hacking up a fur ball, but it makes the baby laugh, so deal with it. That may also be why he looks so terrified between laughing. It's a fine line between scary and funny I guess.

Almost perfect

This morning was a good morning. Alex woke up around 5:30, had a bottle and was ready to hang out. He spent a good amount of time wrestling the stuffed ocotpus on his play mat....I am pretty sure Alex won, but it was a close match. Then he played around in his jumperoo for a while. There is a ball that spins and makes kind of a rattle type noise on this thing. The amount of spinning that gets done makes me feel bad for the ball. He just sits there with his chubby little sausage link fingers strumming away on that ball.

During all this play time I managed to get myself ready and my lunch made. Then I brought him into the kitchen to hang out with me while I ate my breakfast. He had a grand ol' time chillin' out in his bouncy seat whacking at this weird long skinny blue elephant thing that hangs from the overhead bar. Then the grunting started. The tell tale grunting. He was soon to become a stinky baby. Something he continues to find terribly funny. I have to admit I liked it better when his pooing schedule had him making a mess of himself while at daycare, but whatcha gonna do?

So I finish eating, he finishes pooing. Time for a wardrobe change. No pajamas to daycare today! I change his diaper, blow some zerberts on his belly, and put him in a cute outfit with a puppy on his butt. I get my coat and buckle him into his car seat. Pacifier, burp cloth and blanket all in place. On the way out, I spot the delicious peanut butter cookies Kari brought over yesterday and grab one for myself as a treat for getting everything done so smoothly this morning.

In the car on the way down our street I see it. Poop under my fingernail. Nice.

Made it!

We did it. We made it out of the house this morning without an outfit change. The spitting up this child is demonstrating lately is nothing short of impressive. It has to be some sort of defiance of calorie math that he is still growing. I don't understand how he can be getting enough to eat with how much comes back out of him! From what I gather, this is yet another symptom of teething. Which makes sense because he doesn't seem to have an upset stomach. He'll just sit there all content, and then all of sudden puke. It's gross. Doesn't seem to phase him though.

Yesterday morning I waited to get him dressed until the very last thing before we left hoping to avoid a wardrobe change. Got myself fed and dressed, got him fed early and waited as long as I could to dress him. He was in a super cute outfit. Before picking him up, I made a deal with him that he wasn't going to barf on himself or on me. I got an "Oooooaah" in response, so I figure we have an understanding and are good to go. He is not a man of his word. Not only did he barf, he managed to get none of it on the burp cloth I had on my shoulder directly in front of his face. Oh no. That would make too much sense with the laws of physics and all. No, he got it all over his shoulder and chest and a big ol' blob of formula barf on my sleeve. Awesome. So the outfit changes began. The sad part is that I contemplated, for longer than I will admit, if I could get away with not changing my shirt. For the sake of the noses of all people I would be dealing with throughout the day, I changed. For the sake of not having my kid in a puke soaked shirt all morning, Alex got changed.

Cereal Success

Based on last night's performance, Alex is beginning to understand the idea of eating. He seemed to really like the rice cereal last night. And most of it actually went down. The last couple times all but .0014 ounces of cereal have been pushed back out of his mouth. Not last night though. That kid wanted some rice cereal. Can't say I blame him. It's not half bad. It kinda tastes like a sweet communion wafer.

As happy as I am that he has started to understand what to do with the mush we are putting in his mouth, it is nothing compared to how amusing it is to watch Travis feed him. He gets so excited when Alex actually eats the cereal. Every bite that goes down is followed with fanfare comparable to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. There's cheering and smiles and songs. Followed by a request for me to watch the next bite. Which of course I excitedly do. It is pretty cool watching him learn something.

Speaking of him learning...He once again proved me completely wrong. I swear making me look like an ass that doesn't know her kid is his main motivation. On Friday I was talking to one of the teachers at daycare and she was saying how Alex is really starting to bat at toys. I agreed and then said that he isn't quite getting the idea to grasp a toy and hang on to it yet. Fast forward to Saturday. As I am changing his diaper, he reaches over, GRABS A TOY, and pulls it to his chest. See? What do I know?

Too soon

My godfather has passed away. He fought cancer and he fought hard. But cancer sucks. It is unyielding and doesn't care who it takes away from us. I know I am supposed to find solace in the fact that he is no longer suffering. But I don't. I want him back. I want more laughs, more hugs, more time. He was an amazing man and any person he knew is lucky to have had him touch their life. It hurts my heart that my son will only know him through stories and pictures. It hurts my heart that all we have now are memories. None of us were done sharing our lives with him.

I don't think many people are as lucky as I am to have had such an incredible relationship with a godparent. I got to grow up across the street from someone who's love for me was second only to my own parents. His influence played a big part in shaping the person I am today...whether he would admit to it or not! I do know he was proud of me. He loved me enough to make sure I knew how he felt. Always knowing I had unconditional love and support right across the street was a security I didn't realize I held so dear.

I love Bob very much and am happy I got spend some time with him and tell him so before he left us. I know time will ease this pain as they say it does, but right now...it really really hurts.

Naaaasty

Alex has cradle cap. Luckily he is a hairy beast child so you can't see it unless you really look for it. But it is there. And it smells. Like rotting Parmesan cheese. So he has been getting a bath at least every other day so I can shampoo the cheese stank out of his hair. And according to the doc, getting it wet and gently scratching to remove the dead skin is a good way to get rid of it faster. And that remedy allows me to let my inner monkey out and pick at my son so I am good with it. Hopefully it will follow what everyone says and go away soon. I like to snuggle this kid, and it is hard when he stinks. It's also hard because he will never sit still, but I am getting good at sneaking in kisses when I can.

Seriously, this kid is constantly moving. Constantly. Unless he's asleep. And a good portion of the time when he is sleeping he is fidgeting around. He's getting really good at getting himself turned perpendicular to how he should be laying in his crib and completely void of any and all blankets. We have tried the sleep sack thingys a couple of times, but he still really seems to prefer to be swaddled, at least at first, so those are a little tricky. They have swaddling versions of them, but they are only big enough for 10lb babies. Our big bruiser will not fit. But now we are running into the problem that he wakes up when he is no longer in baby burrito mode. No good. He doesn't seem to mind. Actually he was quite excited to see me this morning. At 2:30am. No joke. He was all smiles, giggly, arms and legs flailing with happiness. I am surprised I could see all of this through eyes that burned each time I tried to open them, but there he was...all "HI MOM! I AM SUPER EXCITED TO SEE YOU!!!" I have to admit, it made me laugh.

Who's hungry?

I am warning you. Do not go any further in this post if you are remotely hungry. You will instantly become a cannibal. There is no way to not want to snack on each and every part of this kid. Just look at him...

I told you to be careful. And you can't even see his little corn kernel toes. De-freaking-licious. Travis had to stop me from dipping them in melted butter last night. Can't help it.

And, does his hair not completely rock in the first one? He looks like a dandelion! Or a punk rock star...yeah, a punk rock star. That's way tougher than a flower.

5lbs 'till Turkey Day

My mom and sister have made a deal that they are both going to try to lose 5lbs by Thanksgiving. Being that my ass size is no longer acceptable I am thinking about joining them on this endeavor. By the way, I finally bought the demon device. A scale now resides at my house. So I had to get an accurate start weight. Got on the scale when we got it home on Saturday. The same seizure inducing number showed up that was there when I weighed myself at my parents' house a couple weeks ago. At least we are at a plateau.

But then I remembered that you are supposed to weigh yourself in the morning. The aforementioned weigh in was in the evening. No good. So this morning I very timidly stepped on the scale. It took a lot to get me on the stupid thing. What if the number went up? Did I really want to start my day so horribly? A higher number would definitely send the entire day into a downward spiral at a breakneck pace. But I did it. I made sure we were on a level surface. Made sure to go to the bathroom before placing even a pinkie toe on that thing. No need for any bodily waste to be weighed. My mind was reeling through all the terrible for you but oh so yummy things I ate last weekend...not to mention the amount of all the terrible for you but oh so yummy things. I think I ate enough soft cheese on Saturday alone to set some sort of record. Feta stuffed tomatoes, blue cheese topped toastettes, cheesy potato fried dumplings. Oh yeah baby. And all this was after having dinner at Kari's on Friday where I was fed breaded chicken stuffed with fresh mozzarella over pasta. God I love food.

Anyway, back to the weighing. I took a deep breath and stepped on. I had to use a pliers to get my eyelids open to look down at the glaring red LED lights displaying my weight for the world to see. 5.5lbs lighter than Saturday's weight. I am almost passed out. Instead of falling over and peeing myself with glee, I moved the scale to a different spot to really make sure it was level and got back on totally expecting a different number. But no. It was still 5.5lbs lighter than Saturday. Perhaps the workouts I have been really trying to squeeze in are helping. Now if I can just get my demanding stomach under control we might actually get somewhere.

So now 5lbs by Thanksgiving will get me to pre-preggo weight. Here's to workouts and hopefully less food. I don't know that I can stop eating the deliciousness that is cheese and all things made with cheese, so hopefully the portion control part will do the trick.

Teeth and Daylight Savings can suck it.

We are pretty sure Alex is dealing with teeth coming in. I say pretty sure because nothing is physically showing up in his mouth yet. But if the other signs are not signs of teething, I am not sure my kid is right. He is drooling like mad, spitting up more, chewing his hands and his blankets and his hands while covered by his blankets, and is occasionally crying for no reason that I can see. And it's that something actually hurts cry. Not just the my parents can't figure out what I want cry. I am totally aware of that one. Not that being aware makes me any faster at figuring out what he does in fact want, I just know that he wants something and isn't in pain. But this cry is a pain cry. It sucks. Luckily Tylenol and Orajel have been easing the pain so far. He hasn't quite figured out how to hang on to a toy and get it to his mouth yet, so teething rings are a bit difficult. They're fine if someone is holding him and holding the teething device in his mouth for him, but otherwise not so much.

This is throwing a big ol' nasty wrench in his sleeping. He lays down, falls asleep, wakes up crying. This goes on over and over until the Tylenol kicks in, or his exhaustion takes over. I feel really bad for him. I am not a huge fan of pumping him full of medicine, but I am even more not a fan of him being in pain. Drugs to the rescue!

Anyway, add teeth to daylight savings time and you get one tired baby and two tired parents. Get those chompers in baby!

The rice cereal adventure has begun. Yesterday was the second attempt. The first attempt was not pretty. I think an equal mix of parental stupidity and infant confusion/hunger was to blame. In the time it took us, two rational adults, to decided if we were going to try rice cereal, how we were going to try rice cereal, how much rice cereal should we try, where should he sit while we try to feed him, and what rice cereal coming out of the mouth catching device we were going to use, Alex was impatient and hungry. Too hungry in fact to be curious enough to try to figure out what the hell we were putting in his mouth. He was not amused. So the bottle came to the rescue. He heaved a heavy sigh letting us know he was content that we finally figured out how to feed him, and drank the bottle dry. At which point Travis said, "I think he would totally take it if we mixed it in his bottle." Really? Ya think? Yeah...not really the point. We need to teach the child how to eat. Travis decided that no, we didn't. The bottle is way to convenient, and he likes it. Pureeing all food is apparently the direction we are headed.

Not giving up, we tried again yesterday. It went a bit better. I think he actually swallowed some of the cereal. Not a lot, but some. He wasn't as hungry as the first attempt, so he had some patience with me. He was willing to try for a little bit. But then he just looked at me with this exasperated look like, "Why won't you just give me my bottle? I'm hungry. I've played your little game. I'm done." So I figured some success was better than no success, and we sat down with a bottle.

Today will be try #3. We'll get this feeding thing figured out.

Well that was fun

Yesterday was Alex's four month check-up. He is officially 14lbs 4oz & 24" long. He is in the 40th percentile for weight and something like the 32nd for height. So he is still pretty small for his age. He seems HUGE to me. My sister brought her new baby Tom to visit yesterday too. He is sooooo tiny. He was 3oz smaller than Alex when he was born. Tom hasn't yet done the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man thing Alex has accomplished, so he is still tiny. It was pretty funny seeing the two of them together. Alex looked so big compared to Tom, I expected him to jump out of his seat, walk over to me and explain Newton's law to me. Alas, he is still my little stinky baby.

Aside from updating his stats, he also got shots yesterday. Ya-uck. He was all gurgly and cute, loving the noise he could make with his feet on the paper covering the examination bed. But then...then...then the nurse came in with the needles. She stuck his left leg first. The delay for the reaction took about .8 seconds. His face was immediately so red it was almost purple. Instant tears. Insane screaming. Luckily she was fast, so when she stuck his right leg, he was still pissed about the left leg. I now understand why Travis was so unhappy when he came home from the first round of shots. That sucked.

He did calm down pretty quickly after the whole thing was over. But for a while after he was doing that breathing thing that happens after you cry really hard. Like you can't quite catch your breath. Yeah, that went on for about half the ride home. Needless to say, I did not stop at the appointment desk like they recommend to make his next appointment. That one will be made via phone.

Unfortunately even with some Tylenol, he did not do as well after the shots this time around. He was an unhappy camper in the late afternoon and evening. But he slept really well and was back to normal this morning. Hopefully they are right when they say babies have a short memory for stuff like that. Or I think the next time we go to the doctor, Alex will resemble a feral cat more than a baby.

Just 'cause

We put his Jumperoo together this weekend. I realize he doesn't look thrilled in this picture, but he loves it. And he is seriously so damn cute I can't take it. And I don't know why his hair looks red in every picture we take.

I'm there.

I think I am finally there. Or here. Or whatever. It has taken this long, but I think I finally can say I feel like myself again. Well, an altered mom-type version of myself, but as close as I think we are gonna get. I am not really sure what flipped that switch, but it has been flipped and I am very happy about it. I can honestly say it has taken until this past weekend for me to feel this way.

Up to this point, I have just felt...off. Now I can guarantee there are quite a lot of people that would say I am a bit "off" most the time, but the off I was feeling was different. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but it wasn't right. It wasn't me. I was a frazzled, tired, impatient, not so happy version of me. Don't let me fool you. I still feel frazzled and tired...and I am working on the impatient part. But it all feels more under control all of a sudden. My guess is that it is no coincidence this new feeling of stability is coming at the same time as Alex consistently only waking once a night. Perhaps that little bit extra of uninterrupted sleep has made all the difference. If that's the case, can you imagine what I am going to feel like when he is sleeping through the night? I will be unstoppable!

I think that Alex's ability to interact is also helping me a lot. That and the constant, never ending, what feels like an eternity of time we have spent together. I am starting to feel like I understand him now. I can more easily figure out what he needs and how to make him happy. And even if I can't figure it out, or soothe him quickly, I at least now feel like at some point I will figure it out. We will just figure each thing out as we go. That feels a heck of a lot better than the insane-o circus we were living before. There were animals everywhere and the monkeys wouldn't stop throwing their poo at me before. Now? Now I feel like I could command all three rings and have the bears on their highest tiptoes while spinning circles in pink tutus. Either that, or I will just feel good and have a happy baby. Although sometimes I feel like the bears may be an easier task.

Off to the races...kinda

Yesterday was be-a-utiful in Madison. So when I got home and everyone got settled, the dog and I took off for a little run. See? I told you I was going to start getting serious about this working out stuff.

Anyway, apparently I need to make sure the mutt is getting to run a bit more often. We have been extremely lax on the trips to the dog park since a certain furry little one who shall remain unnamed took over our lives. Aiden was beyond hyper on our run. It was like I was running next to a squirrel with a massive case of ADHD. She was all over the place. So many things to smell and piles of leaves to pee on. I wanted to keep the pace up so after the 18th pile of leaves, I stopped stopping for her. She actually at one point half squatted/half kept running while peeing on a long pile of leaves on the side of the road. I didn't even know that was possible. However, it was quickly determined I am not the only one in the house out of shape. She fell asleep on the couch approximately .7 seconds after we got home.

As far as me being out of shape. I actually did less walking on my "run" than I expected, which was nice. But then this morning I woke up and it feels as though I have a mean little leprechaun walking around with me stabbing me in the left hip with every step. Perhaps I should not have gone all out last night. This new hip development is taking the elliptical out of the repertoire for this evening, but I think the stationary bike should be doable. I have to keep going with the workouts. Every time I start working out after taking a hiatus I instantly remember how much it improves my mood. One would think this would be a good part of motivation to keep working out. Yeah...I'm not so smart.

Time flies baby!

We are creeping up on four months that the hairy little beast child has graced us all with his presence. He has become a maniac. This morning he was laying in his crib watching his favorite elephant friends spin endless circles above his head and he was kicking his legs continuously and forcefully for a good 6 minutes straight. All the activity was in happiness...he and those elephants have a very special bond...but it was incredible. He is so much more fun now. No more larval Alex. He has been nicknamed Shark Boy...constant movement or death.

Anyway, without further ado, I give you almost 4 month old Shark Boy, Alex T. Julius

If those don't make your heart explode with glitter covered rainbows and sunshines, I don't know what will.

Tipping the scale

We went to my parents' house for a visit on Sunday. We got to hang out with my parents, my sister, and her family. We ate great food and Alex showed off his skills. None of them had seen Alex in almost a month, so they were taken aback by the size of him. It's crazy how big he is getting. Naturally, while sitting in awe of his fat little feet, we all wondered how much he weighs now. I do not know this because I am afraid of scales and do not have one of the demonic devices in my home. My parents are not afraid. They have a scale. Let the weighing begin!

Problem though. We can't very well have Alex stand on the scale. He may be able to roll over, but the skill of standing still alludes him. So this means someone has to weigh themselves with and without Alex. I was not about to be that person for fears aforementioned. Nicki volunteered. I think it was more because she got to hold him again than really wanting to know how much he weighed, but her doing it meant I didn't have to. Done and done. After her skinny ass scoffed at her weight without him, she grabbed him and got back on the ego shattering scale. Wanna guess?...14 pounds. He is 14 pounds. He is creeping up on triple his birth weight. My little furry critter is growing!

I figured since Alex bit the bullet and got weighed, I should too so I can truly know what I am working with here. Yeeeaaahhh. The number that came up is burned into my brain. It will never be spoken aloud. It is that bad. I have gained 5 pounds since I released that boy into the wild. GAINED 5 POUNDS. Fantastic. Now, I knew I need to lose weight. I just didn't think I was heading in the opposite direction of where I need to go. I was thinking I was at a stand still. Turns out not so much.

So here's what I have decided. I need to get over it and buy a damn scale. That wretched number has thrown my world into a tailspin and it needs to be a smaller number. Much smaller. I am also seriously figuring out a workout plan. Like yesterday. This has gotten beyond a touch out of control and I need to reign it in. A Cooking Light subscription has been mailed in. The recipes in this magazine are not only created with better for you ingredients, but they have appropriate portion sizes listed as well. I love food. Like a lot. Portion size is an issue for me.

Better eating and exercise. This is my plan of attack. My plan to attack the size of my ass. Because damn.

Rolling Update

He is rolling from his stomach to his back a bit more regularly. Back to stomach, not so much. We'll get there young skywalker.

It was glorious

Once. One time. For a half hour. That was it. That's all Alex was awake last night. He ate at 8pm, went to sleep, woke up at 1:30am, guzzled 6oz, giggled while I changed his diaper, went back to sleep immediately and stayed that way until 6:30am. He didn't even budge while I hit my snooze button for almost an hour. I was just so happy to be able to stay snuggled in with the dog, I could not force myself to get up. Needless to say, I am donning an unwashed ponytail to work. Whatever, I showered yesterday. Later in the morning too. Totally counts for today.

I am crossing everything that can be crossed that this will last. I know that I shouldn't be so hopeful because chances are he is going to decide to be up a million times tonight as payback for being so nice last night, but a girl can dream can't she?

The other nice thing about him not getting up a lot was that he was in a great mood this morning. Weird right? Who knew that babies are happy when they aren't tired? He sat in his bouncy chair and watched me get ready with a smile on red alert so he could melt my heart each and every time I looked at him. He was also quite chatty this morning. It's a good thing my toaster takes so long, it gave us time to solve global warming. Expect his dissertation. It will have to be translated into something other than, "Oooooo. Oooo! *Burp* Oooooahhh." But it will be noble prize winning. I am sure of it.

Let's get rolling

So since The Rolling Over Incident, Alex has yet to roll over again. He kinda gets close but then just ends up getting pissed off that he is on his stomach and lets his face smush into the blanket he is laying on. However, last night and this morning, he is getting frighteningly close to rolling from his back to his stomach. He's got the legs pulled and twisted over technique going, he just needs to get his arms and head going to make it over. Attempts at rolling this way are much more fun to watch. He doesn't get all mad like he does when he is on his stomach. He kinda looks like a horizontal Weeble Wobble. There is a lot of rocking from his back to his side with his legs pulled up. It's like primitive baby break dancing...with no rhythm.

Who's got the caffiene?

The amount of tired I am today is close to indescribable. But here we go anyway.

I went to bed at 11:00pm last night because of yucky circumstances beyond my control. Alex woke up at 12:30am to be fed. Fed him, changed him, and went back to sleep around 1:00am. Alex then woke up again at 3:30am. Not because he was hungry, but apparently because he wanted to sleep snuggled up with someone gently patting his butt. Because really, why not? Seriously, pretty much every time I stopped patting because I was, by the mercy of all things powerful, actually falling asleep in that recliner that I have grown to loathe, he would squirm, whimper, and toss his head around. Until the patting resumed. Then he would peacefully put his little hairy noggin back on my shoulder and get back to sleeping. This little dance carried on for an hour. And then, just for grins, he really woke up because he was hungry. Ok. Fine. You're hungry. Let's get you fed and back to bed SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP! What's that? You want to take exponentially longer to eat because you would like to multitask and poop at the same time? Sweet. Great idea. I couldn't think of a better plan...except, oh I don't know....EAT FASTER SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP! No? You'd rather poop? Awesome. At 5:15 Travis took him downstairs, I got back in bed, my alarm went off at 5:30. Yipee fucking skipee.

This whole having to get up at night was a lot easier when I didn't have to work. Who's going to win the lottery and give me a healthy portion of their winnings? ... That's what I thought. Damn.

I am working on choreographing an "Alex Sleeps Through The Night" dance. It's kinda like a Rain Dance. You will all be getting your dance step instructions soon. Get your blue suede shoes ready, Mommy needs some sleep.

Give me more giggles!

I've said it before, but it is worth saying again. This kid's giggles are as addictive as crack. By the end of each workday, I find myself itching to get him from daycare and immediately do anything I can to get my fix. It's a good thing he is pretty good about giving them up, or you would find me in a corner rocking back and forth making funny faces at the wall.

This past weekend we visited Travis's brother and his family. My sister-in-law loves babies more than anyone I have ever met. Hands down. And she can make them laugh like nobody's business. She had Alex laughing so hard, his cousin was worried that he wasn't breathing. I swear I do the same things she does, but I only get about 42% of the reaction she gets. That woman has got skills.

There are no defenses to this giggle. It renders you useless. It melts your heart into a puddle of warm gooeyness. The silly toothless grin that accompanies the giggle doesn't hurt either.

Proved me wrong again.

So yesterday I was all worked up about not doing the right things to help Alex develop mentally and physically like he is supposed to. Then I picked him from daycare.

The daycare teacher asked me how often we do tummy time with him. I sheepishly admitted not very often and then quickly rattled off multiple reasons to justify why she shouldn't be disappointed in me. See yesterday's post for said justification reasons. She looked surprised that we don't do it very often, so I asked why she was wondering. This is what she told me:

"I put him on his tummy and he stayed there for a bit and then he rolled over. So I put him backed on his tummy and he rolled over again, but to the other side. He kept doing it for about 20 minutes!"

Did you see that? HE ROLLED OVER! BOTH WAYS!

My look of shock when she told me this immediately let her know I had not witnessed it so she suggested I put him down on his tummy and see what happens. And sure as shit, after about 32 seconds on his tummy, he rolled right over. He did it with such ease it was like he has been doing this for weeks. Now I know why he is un-swaddled every morning. He is in his crib secretly practicing rolling over.

Obviously I am super happy about this new development. I felt so relieved that he is normal! How silly is that? Like I can't tell that he is normal by our interactions everyday. I mean normal developmentally. This kid has no shot at not being a weirdee with me and his dad and our friends being around. Anyway, I am also having a few conflicting emotions. Shocking, I know.

I am a little sad I wasn't the one to see him roll over for the first time. It kinda drove the point home that he is at daycare a lot and I am going to have to get used to them witnessing a lot of his "firsts". I mean I get to see him do it whenever I am with him, but I didn't get to see the first one.

On the other hand, I am once again elated we found this daycare. It is so nice to know that they aren't just plopping him in a swing all day and stuffing a bottle in his mouth when he is hungry. They actually do stuff with him to help him grow. The Rolling Over Incident isn't the only time I have noticed this. The other day I came to get him and he was sitting up in a Bumbo, just chillin', watching the other baby that was there. We have one, I just haven't busted it out yet. Guess what is getting busted out? It will be nice to not always have him reclined or laying down if I am not holding him. Which I realize means I have to not hold him so much.

Now if they could just figure out how to get him to sleep longer throughout the night. Geez!

What's right?

Is it just me, or does every new mom feel like they are not doing things right? I crave to hear what other babies Alex's age are accomplishing, but then worry that he is not doing it as well as the other kids. I can't let go of the feeling that I am not doing this right and he is going to suffer because his mom is a bumbling idiot.

I was thinking this feeling was coming from the mom board thing so I started paying attention to when the kids were born since most mom's list their kid's birth date. But that still doesn't settle my brain. I don't know why I can't just be satisfied that he is healthy, eating well, obviously learning things as we go, and happy. I am happy with those things, I am just worried that I am doing things or not doing things that are holding him back. It's almost like I feel competitive with the other moms and their kids. Although it's not a feeling of wanting him to be better than the other kids, it's more of wanting constant assurance that he is on par with the other kids. I'm not going crazy, why would you say I am going crazy? This is a totally rational way to think. Right? Right?

I think a lot of my problem with this is that I feel like I don't have enough time in each day to do the things you are supposed to do. Like tummy time for example. I want to do tummy time, but I am not going to put him on his stomach and walk away. But if I am sitting right there, I can't make dinner or do the laundry or get his bath ready or wash bottles or blah blah blah. So where do you make those choices?

Last night he was sleepy, but was fighting it, so I decided to rock him and read to him. But I was really not in the mood for Farm Babies or anything of the sort. I really want to read this book Mariah lent me. It's called Lovely Bones. It is very well written, but very sad. And totally inappropriate to be reading aloud to a baby. But that apparently is the mom that I am...I read a book about murder to my baby. Nice. But I figured at this point, he doesn't really understand the words...And they do say it is important to read to your baby. Done and done. For one day. Tonight we will read about Farm Babies. I promise.

Stinky

It's official. He is for sure my kid. He already thinks poop and fart jokes are funny. No matter how I say it, every time I tell him he is stinky, it cracks him up. Even if I am just telling him in a very matter of fact manner. He stills grins as wide as he can and contorts his body into a pretzel while doing the throaty, spit gurgling giggle he's got goin' on.

This morning was no exception. I was almost late to work because I sat there for at least 15 minutes telling him was the Stinkiest of all the Stinky boys in Stinkertown. And he thought it was the funniest thing he has ever heard.

It was a good thing for my ego that he found me amusing this morning after the shoot down he delivered yesterday. I went to pick him up from daycare and the teacher that was there said he was smiley all day. She had been gone for about a week and she said he even seemed happy to see her, almost as if he had missed her. Which was interesting since I couldn't get him to smile at me for anything. I could have told him there was a brand new package of golden fleece diapers just for him and he would have continued to stare at me like he has never seen me in his short little life. Super great feeling when your 3 month old baby is more amused with a daycare teacher than his mom. Little snot.

Settling in

I feel like nothing is changing anymore. We have settled into a routine, kinda, and we're plugging away each day. The thing is, Alex changes pretty much every day. Each day he gets a little bigger, giggles a little more, sits up a little stronger. So why don't I feel like things are constantly changing? I don't know if it's just that the changes aren't quite as monumental as completely upending your life by bringing home a critter that is completely and utterly dependant on you for everything. Or if it's just that I am getting used to having life in a constant state of flux. Perhaps it is just that I am too damn tired to be so concerned about things not staying the same. Whatever the reason, it is nice to not feel so out of control. There are still a lot times that I have no idea what this kid wants, but eventually we can figure it out.

Watching him learn is awesome. He has found his feet a couple times. You would think once you have found your feet, you would remember they are there. Not so much. Every time he sees them he stops and just stares. It's hilarious.

He is also getting the idea of imitating noises and actions. So when I wag my tongue out of my face at him making silly noises so he will laugh, he immediately starts poking his tongue out of his mouth. And when I make an "oooo" noise at him, he coos back and then giggles and flails about with glee and pride that he figured it out. I think we may amuse each other for quite some time.

More babies

My sister is having a baby. Like right now as I type. I have been getting status reports throughout the day. Which each report things are obviously progressing. At the time of the last report, they had broken her water and her contractions were getting pretty serious.

Just the thought of that feeling kinda makes me uncomfortable. I don't know if I am just a wus, but I am not one of those people who "forgot" what labor felt like. It hurt. A lot. And once it was time to actually get the kid out, it was hard. However by that point I had taken advantage of pain medication so it didn't hurt anymore, but it was no walk in the park. Having my mom describe the look on my sister's face immediately brought me back to the hospital room and that very long day. The leaking, the sweating, the neverending onslaught of contractions feeling like my spine was separating from my body. Childbirth is no joke.

On to the better thoughts. It's pretty cool that Alex is going to have a cousin so close in age. I have four cousins. Total. And none of them live all that close. So the whole cousins growing up together thing never really was a big deal for me. Alex already has 8, not counting the one being born right now. I am super pumped to watch those relationships form and for him to have cousins to look up to and to grow up with.

Hurry up Baby Guerin #2. Your cousins are waiting!

3 Months

This little guy has been invading our lives for 3 months now. It is so strange how I seem to have no concept of this amount of time. On the one hand I cannot believe he is already three months old. I feel like it was just a little bit ago that I was so ready to not be pregnant anymore. Maybe that's because that feeling is still very solidly in place. I saw a pregnant woman on Saturday and my stomach just dropped. I am very happy I am not pregnant anymore. Anywho, back to the boy. Every time I look at him he looks bigger and older. He is already THREE MONTHS OLD! So that's the one hand.

On the other hand, I can't believe it's only been three months. I feel like he has been around forever. It is hard to imagine what we filled our time with before the never ending cycles of taking care of our hairy little beast. Sometimes that forever is a nice feeling. Sometimes it is a hard feeling. At 4:30 this morning when he wouldn't stay asleep and I completely broke down crying from exhaustion...not such a good feeling. But then as I held him, he sighed, smiled through his nuk and fell asleep. Add that to Travis being a rockstar and getting up early so I could sleep, and that bad feeling didn't feel quite so bad. It is unbelievably amazing what 1&1/2 hours of sleep can do.

I love Alex very much. But man this is some hard work. I've said it before, I am sure I will say it a million times within the next 37 days....It's a good thing he's cute.

Forever.

Yesterday was my parents' 40th Wedding Anniversary. 40 years. 40 years of saying goodnight to the same person and waking up to the same morning breath. The more I think about it, the more I cannot wrap my brain around it. Just thinking about how well you would know someone after being married to them for 40 years is crazy.

As we ate dinner yesterday they teased back and forth about how exhausting it is to married to each other for so long. But lurking a tiny little step behind the teasing you can easily see how much they love each other. They have seen so much as a couple. They have survived some scary stuff and some awesome moments. And then they had three girls. For the last 40 years they each have been the other's never ending support.

I have looked to my parents for guidance on how to get through life on many occasions. Their 40th Anniversary is another reason I believe my parents to be two of the most amazing people I know, and I am so grateful that I get to continue growing up with their example to lead me.

Yawn yawn yawnny yawn

There is not enough caffeine on the planet to combat what an infant can do. Last night was insane. I have no idea what the deal was, but that kid would not stay asleep. I ended up "sleeping" in the recliner with him for the majority of the night. My back and neck are not happy with last night's decisions.

I could understand if he had slept an obscene amount during the day. Not the case. It was like he just couldn't get comfortable...unless we were sitting in the recliner. Then he would zonk right out. For obvious reasons I do not want this to become a habit, and was leery about spending the night with him on the recliner, but sometimes you just have to give in and say screw it. There was no way I was going to be able to keep getting up every 4&1/2 minutes all night. Although, it's not like I feel bright eyed and bushy tailed today so I guess it doesn't matter.

Speaking of bushy tailed, the amount of hair I am losing is grossly impressive. When I was knocked up, I didn't lose any hair. Like at all. It was weird. This is a very common thing and I expected it, but it was still weird. I would lose like four hairs in the shower. Which is not a normal occurrence in my experience. Well, apparently my hair is making up for lost time and jumping ship. This is nutty. I am not exaggerating when I say I have to clear the drain of hair twice per shower. And then when I comb my hair after a shower, 37 more pieces fall out. It is nasty. I have read this will end in about 6 months. Hopefully I will not have a shiny bowling ball head by then.

Ah Ha!

I knew I would remember what I wanted to write about at some point!

I joined a mom chat board thingy on babycenter. The website is all full of information about having and raising babies. And once you sign up you can join different "boards". An easy one to pick is the board that has parents of babies born in the same month as your baby. Ipso facto I am a member of the June 2009 Birth Club. Basically parents post comments or questions they would like to discuss with other parents that have kids about the same age. And then other members can comment and give thier thoughts and advice or just plain condolences. It is a nice forum for people like me who don't have any idea what the hell they are doing or how they were approved to have a baby. Basically just like any other chat board, it is a good place to ask questions and share info and ideas.

I like being able to read what other parents are dealing with and how they are dealing with it. I have a problem though. And it is really only a problem because I am a freak. So I am in the June 2009 Birth Club right? So that means I am in the same club as parents with babies born on June 1st, and June 2nd, and June10th. Alex was born on June 29th. Now you wouldn't think a couple weeks would make a big difference but holy guacamole does it make a difference. One whole conversation thread was all about which way babies are rolling over. Ummmm....how about no way? Basically this board has let my stupid lack of logic get the best of me and I am all, Why isn't Alex doing this yet? Is it because I am not a good parent? Yes, that must be it! I am a horrible parent and Alex is going to be light years behind children his same age because I didn't know when and how much tummy time to give him. Lucky for me Kari was there to remind me that all babies progress at different rates and they all pretty much get to the same place before they have to go to school so it's all good.

The other problem I have is all the wacky abbreviations people use on these boards. What the hell is a DD? Oh, you're saying you have a daughter. OK, I get the one D stands for daughter, but what's the other D for? And DH? That's your husband? Again, I get what the H stands for, but that damn D is throwing me off again. It definitely makes me feel like am not one of the cool kids that knows the in's and out's of this hip technological way to get together with other moms. Like I am sitting here in Mom Jeans and they all have on the latest style from Seven.

I'm sure once I get used to it, it will prove to be a handy resource. And the more resources the better.

I quit

I had something I wanted to write about today. I know this may come as a shock, but I forgot what that was. Totally and completely. I don't even have an inkling of an idea of what I wanted to blab blab blab about. Impressive.

Spinning

In seven days, the boy will be three months old. Three months. That seems like a long time. Like if you have a trip, but you aren't leaving for three months it is agonizing. Or can you imagine how long three months in jail would feel. That's a lot of radiator grilled cheese sandwiches. But when one is realizing that is the amount of time they have had a child it seems like a millisecond. The whole I have a kid thing is still quite strange to me.

When I was pregnant I thought that I would have a pretty good grasp on the daily happenings in the kid's and my life by now. I thought wrong. Still on just about a daily basis this kid throws a curve ball into the mix and it is a pitch I have never seen and I have no idea how to hit it. It is amazing how something so little can throw everything and everyone around him into such complete upheaval. The only thing I am sure I have a good handle on every day is the route I drive from home to daycare to work to daycare to home. I've got that down pat! Everything else? Total crap shoot. We are lucky though, because as babies go, I think Alex is a pretty easy baby. If we could get rid of the spazzy meltdowns, I would go so far as to say he is angelic. But I don't want him to get a big head. And those spazzy meltdowns are a good way to keep him grounded.

Another thing that adds to the massive feelings of being overwhelmed is the lack of time. I didn't know that when he was busy stealing my brain he was also sneakily subtracting time from the day. He must have done it in small enough increments so I wouldn't notice. He's smarter than that gummy little smile leads you to believe. It is just unreal how quickly each day passes. By the time I get home from work, get dinner going, feed him, change him, wash bottles, load the dishwasher and eat, it's time for bed. The killer is, you have to do all those exact same things again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. But wait! Then there are many days that just adding one out of the ordinary task to the mix brings on a drowning like feeling. But then you just plug away and get it done. And then fall asleep the second your face smooshes into the pillow.

I honestly do not understand how single parents do it. Any of it. At all. It boggles the mind.

2&1/2 Months

Here he is. 2&1/2 months old. He is finally starting to get some meat on his bones. I should post a picture of his legs and feet. They are super chub. As my dad pointed out this weekend, his feet are fat...even on the bottom. They look like little stuffed sausages. His cheeks are gettin' some chub too. Now we just need to work on getting him past the 4th percentile for weight.

I cannot believe how old he looks. He is already starting to look like a little boy to me. I cannot get past how much fun it is to make him smile and laugh. He cracks me up.

He still has the horrendous breakdowns where nothing can make him happy for more than 4&1/2 seconds. They are not as frequent, but they still suck. It is encouraging that these episodes don't happen as often as they used to, but each one pushes my patience to it's outer most limits. Good thing these baby people are cute.

On the floor naked and screaming is a thing of the past

So the last two days Alex has been testing the patience of the lovely people at daycare. He has been, in their words, "pretty fussy." Based on the wild boar-like screaming on display when I walk in the door to pick him up, "pretty fussy" is pretty euphemistic. Both Tuesday and Wednesday when I picked him up he was crying. For no reason whatsoever. Yesterday, one of the teachers was sitting in a rocking chair with him in her arms rocking him and listening to soothing music. What was he doing? Screaming like an insane monkey off its meds. That was pretty close to the same scene on Tuesday when I picked him up, except Tuesday she was pacing/bouncing with him. After those two pick-ups, I was more than a little afraid they would give him to me and change the locks immediately after we walked out the door.

So this morning I got there to drop him off and talked with the teacher telling her some things I try when he is being an inconsolable jerk store. She listened, asked some questions, gave her input, and let me know what she tries with him throughout the day. (We are thinking this is mostly some gas issues coming back, but we shall see.) The following is how the conversation wrapped up:

Me: Well he slept really well last night so hopefully that will help today.
Teacher: Oh good! I am really happy he is sleeping well for you. ***And there was honestly no sarcasm in her voice. She was genuinely happy about that.
Me: I just feel bad for you having to deal with it all day. ***Read: Please don't ask me to never bring this beast child back to your lovely daycare.
Teacher: Oh we are fine. We get to take breaks and we swap duties. I just don't want you to worry about him during the day. I mean, I know you don't know us from a hill of beans, but we just love him and we'll get this figured out.

I quite literally had to stop myself from hugging that woman and never letting go. I cannot explain how good it feels to leave him with people that care about him and are willing to go through the tough times because they know there is a crooked little smile in there somewhere. So, instead of inappropriately showering this woman with unwanted physical displays of affection, I told her how happy I am with the care they provide for my son. I think she understands, but if leg humping would help drive my point home, I am not above it.

Fork it over.

I was under the impression that once my little munchkin was done cooking he would relinquish his vice-like hold on my brain. Apparently that is not the case.

Last week I went to Target to get 5 things. One of which was dish soap. I was going home immediately after Target to wash bottles because we did not have any clean bottles as we were out of dish soap. I got the other four things and proceeded to wander around Target asking Alex what I was forgetting. Yes, asking the baby that can't talk what I was forgetting when I was forgetting soap to wash the bottles for the baby that I was asking. Nothin'. Went home without dish soap and it didn't hit me until I had the sink filling with water and went to add the soap. Nice.

Yesterday, my boss was super awesome and took my coworker and me out on his boat for the afternoon. The instructions were, "Get your stuff done and meet me at the boat." Sweet! Until we were coming back to the dock and he casually asks me where I put his paycheck, because oh yeah, one of the things I was supposed to do yesterday before he was generous enough to take us out boating was PAYROLL. Nothing important though. Nice.

Then today I am driving to work and listening to Bob & Tom. They are talking about Chinese food. And I start thinking how good Chinese food sounds for lunch. But then I remind myself I brought my lunch and I do not allow myself to spend money on lunch when I have brought one with me from home. Bummer right? Until lunch time rolls around and I remember what I packed...Cashew Chicken. I have to admit, this one was bitter sweet...I got my Chinese food. Itch - Scratched.

Basically it's like this kid forgot to leave my brain behind when he vacated the premises. I am going to have to go back and review his lease because I am pretty sure that falls under the whole idea of leaving the premises in the same state they were when you arrived. He may lose his entire security deposit for this one.

Back to Sleep

Back To Sleep. That is the mantra that is drilled into your head when you have a newborn. It has nothing to do with you getting any sleep so that parts sucks. Basically the medical world now believes that having babies sleep on their backs cuts down on the chance of SIDS. And anything that can lower the chances of that...done and done.

I always had a question though. What happens if they barf while on their back? I am not saying I drank a lot in college, but I do distinctly remember making sure a friend or two didn't fall asleep on their back after a night out. Choking hazard. So what if that would happen to a tiny baby that has no control over their body? Wouldn't they choke?

My question was answered this morning. Let's backtrack for a minute though. A while back, I had fed Alex, changed his diaper and left him laying on the contoured changing pad in his crib while I threw away the nastiness his butt had created. I was out of the room for .2 seconds. When I came back in, he was laying there with his mouth full of regurgitated formula. I immediately picked him so everything was quickly expelled from his mouth. I also cried a bit with him because we were both pretty freaked out. What if I hadn't come back so fast?

Fast forward to this morning. After his 4:30 AM feast, I changed his diaper, wrapped him into a burrito and put him back in his crib. He was doing his normal wiggling and grunting. I kinda fell asleep. I come out of an awesome dream about water skiing to hear a weird gurgling, then some coughing. As I bolted up and ran to his crib he started crying. There was formula barf e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. All over his face, coming out of his mouth and nose. All over the crib sheet. All over the blanket he was wrapped in. So apparently when babies barf while laying on their back, they manage to get it out. Question answered. A very messy answer.