Wednesday, October 29, 2014


There is nothing quite like starting your day with your 5 year old yelling to you from the bathroom, "Hey Mom!  Come look at what I made!!"  And then, "I've never made a 'J' poop before!  It musta been curled around my butt!  Hahahahaha!"

And all this on the heels of him realizing that "penis" is the funniest word he has ever known.  At least 8 times a day I hear, "My penis.  Bwwwaaahahahahhaha!"

I live a life of glamour.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Morning Fun

This morning Alex woke me up at 7:00.  His bus picks him up at 7:13.  Wanna guess who accidentally turned their alarm clock off?  Yeah.  Awesomesauce.

In an effort to get things going more quickly, I excitedly told Alex school was serving cheese quesadillas for lunch today!  Doesn't that sound yummy?!  Nope.  No dice.  He wanted a peanut butter and jelly.  Surprirse surprise.

So, I frantically started making a lunch for him while gently shouting getting dressed instructions.  Quick aside:  This kid does not care about clothes.  Like at all.  If he had his choice, he would be naked 99% of the day.  This is an awesome thing when it comes to clothes shopping.  I never have to take him with, and he never bawks at what I buy for him.  This is not such an awesome thing when it comes to getting dressed.  Since he has zero preference most times, he has zero motivation to grab an outfit from his dresser while also lacking any drive to don himself in said outfit.

Anywho, I was telling him to grab some clothes while I made his sandwhich.  I left it on the table and scurried to the sink to clean some strawberries to cram in his lunch with the PB&J.  While I was at the sink, I heard some rustling at the table, but I was too focused on cleaning the berries and attempting to coerce Alex into some clothes to look up to see what it was.  Finally the continued noise got the best of my curiosity and I looked over to see the DAMN DOG EATING THE PB&J.  Of course she is.

So I yelled at her, which prompted Alex to ask me what was wrong.  And when I told him the dog ate his sandwhich, he stood there, completely naked and shell shocked, and juuuuuust about started to cry while telling me that he "really really wanted that peanut butter and jelly."  Yes, I know you really really wanted it and that is why I'm making another one.  Don't cry!  See?  I've already grabbed the bread!  Don't cry.  If anyone is going to cry around here, it's gonna be me!

I went into hyper-pb&j-making-drive, threw the sandwhich, strawberries, and a fun size KitKat in his lunchbox while cramming flip-flops on my feet.  I had him down his allergy medicine while I zipped up his jacket and we took off to the bus stop.  Totally made it.

And just for extra fun?  The dog did this after leaving two puddles of pee and four turds on the carpet in the last 18 hours.

It's no wonder I missed Sam rolling over.

2nd Baby Problems

Sam rolled over!  Twice!  And I missed it both times.  Did I miss it because he accomplished this milestone at daycare?  Nope.  I missed it because I wasn't paying attention.  I missed it because he is an easy baby that can entertain himself for quite some time.  I missed it because I foolishly let everything else get in the way of watching my baby grow.

Last night after we got home, I put him on his play mat in the living room and walked the 6 steps to the kitchen and started opening the mail.  After a couple minutes, I heard all this grunting coming from Sam, so I went back into the living room to find him on his stomach.  I immediately returned him to his back and instructed him to do it again so I could see.  Shockingly, he did not accommodate my request.  He just laid there gurgling and blowing spit bubbles at me while grinning like an idiot.

And then this morning, Travis brought him downstairs while I finished getting ready.  He laid him down on his play mat and quick ran to the bathroom.  I whipped my hair up into my daily ponytail, and headed downstairs.  And I found a very proud, grinning baby, propped up on his elbows.

I cannot believe I missed it both times.  I'm pretty sure we recorded Alex rolling over, but Sam?  We just leave him alone often enough that we have yet to even witness him rolling over, much less record the event.

Any bets on whether he has to come up and pull on my leg to get me to notice when he can crawl?

Monday, October 27, 2014

Evolving Friendships

Alex took off on his bike to go play with some neighborhood friends yesterday, and he came home rather quickly and obviously unhappy.  When I asked what was wrong, he told me the kids he went to play with said they didn't want to play with him.  Oh boy.  

I took a deep breath in an attempt to stave off my protective feelings so I could prevent the homicide of uncaring unfeeling monstrous children, and asked him to explain.  His rendition of events was less than clear, so I just told him I was really sorry he felt sad and that it sounded like there may have been some confusion between the kids and we should try to move on and keep working on being a good friend.

A couple hours later, I was getting ready to put him to bed and I saw my phone flashing its little green message light.  I checked and found a text from my neighbor; the mother of one of the kids Alex said ripped his heart out earlier.  She said her daughter was super upset because she was worried she hurt Alex's feelings because she didn't invite him to play and her daughter wanted to know if Alex was ok.  That set off a series texts between the two kids, using us mothers as conduits:

Alex:  That message is just what I needed.
Friend:  I'm gonna make a card for you, I feel horribly bad.  I love you.
Alex:  :) Jackie is going to charge my dune racer so we can ride in it together.
Friend:  That makes me feel better...see ya tomorrow!
Alex:  Goodnight!
Friend:  'Night!

Here's to hopin' all future friendly kerfuffles are fixed so easily.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

So Close

Sam slept through the night!  Now wouldn't it have been nice if Alex had done the same?

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I'm tellin' ya...

These two are twins separated by time.  Like half of the egg was just chillin' for a while; waitin' its turn.

They even have the same little elf ear.

Lessons with Grandpa Z


Don't let this picture fool you...the peas did not go over quite as well as the squash.  But we could totally pretend they did with this picture.

Pumpkin Carving

Alex was very eager to be the designer of his pumpkin.
 After many repeated instructions, and helping me with the carving, I think his idea turned out pretty darn good.
 He was adament that he needed to carry it over to show Grandpa.
 He was also very proud of how big the mouth ended up.
 When lit, I bounce between thinking it's cute and being terrified of it.

LIttle Pumpkins

Hang on honey, let me get you some ranch. (Extra points for anyone that can name the movie.)

Red Store of Wonder

Up until a couple months ago, we referred to different stores and restaurants by color for the most part.  Blue French Fry Store?  Culver's.  Red Store?  Target.  Red French Fry Store?  McDonald's.  Just recently I said something about going to the Red Store, and Alex plainly said, "You mean Target?"  Yes, my little one that is growing up way too fast for me, I did mean Target.

And speaking of Target, we were there last night getting a winter coat for Mr. Alex.  Since we were already there, I begrudgingly also bought snowpants, gloves, and a hat.  I make enough trips to the Red Store without being whiny and forcing separate trips.  So, I loaded up the cart and braced myself for the total when checking out, only to be pleasantly surprised by the fact that everything was on sale!

And good thing everything was on sale because I will be going back today to replace the Spiderman lunchbox the asshat of a dog destroyed while we were gone.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Thanks Grandpa Z!

We have moved on from bananas.  Poor kid hasn't pooed in a day and half.

Last time we were home at my parents' house, Grandpa Z hooked us up with a couple spaghetti squash.  Fresh from the field no less!  We just won't talk about where in the field.  I managed to eat the first one.  Like all of it.  I think Travis had two bites.  Alex claimed he doesn't like it.  He's full of it.  Either way, 99% of it ended up in my belly.

I cooked up the second one and have been snacking on it the past day or so, and I figured it would be an easy second food for that baby we've got livin' with us.  He fell asleep at 6:30 last night and I didn't feel much like attempting solid food at 11:30 when he woke up to eat, so he hadn't tried yet when I dropped him off at daycare with a bowl full of mashed sqaush.  I warned his teacher that we had no clue whether he was going to eat it or not.

Preeeeetty sure he like it:

Picture Day!

They did a surprise picture day at daycare this week.  I kinda wish I had known so I could've put him in a different shirt...but then again, that kid's butt totally warrants this shirt being immortalized in pictures!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Eye of the Beholder

The other night Sam barfed all over my shoulder.  Normally I would call it "spit up" because it's all formula and comes up within seconds of him drinking a bottle, like a "whoops!  Went passed the fill line...this specific ounce cannot stay."  But this time, it was long enough after he drank a bottle that it wasn't just formula anymore.  It was partially digested already and curdely and nasty and therefore can be classified as barf.  And it was all. over. my shoulder.

So I held Sam at arm's length to avoid squishing the barf deeper into both of our clothes and hopefully keeping it out his ear.  Seriously, I don't get it.  That kid will spit up/barf on my shoulder and immediately rub his head in it.  I mean...what?  Why would you do that?  It's wet and it stinks.  That is a combination that should quickly let you know specifically not to rub your head in it.  Maybe he's been spending too much time with Aiden.

Aaaaaanyway, I had him at arm's length and was lovingly telling him he was a gross baby.  And with that, Alex piped up and scolded me, "Moooom!  He is not a gross baby!  He is a cute baby!!"

Ah, brotherly love.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014


Sam did alright with the rice cereal last week, so we decided to move on to actual food this week.  First up:  bananas.  (Which, given this child's need for probiotics to be able to poo normally, maybe wasn't a great first choice.)

I brought him to the dinner table with us and smashed up some banana.  Since he has decided that eating from a spoon is super exciting, he got all wiggly when he saw his spoon.  He opened his mouth all huge and I delivered the goods.  The second it hit his tongue, he sat up straight and looked at me with a glimmer in his eye like, "What is the magical compound you are feeding me?  It is de-LICIOUS!"  He swallowed quickly and immediately opened his mouth back up.  He got almost a naughty look, like he thought I didn't know how yummy this gloriousness was, but he for sure wasn't going to tell me.

A quarter of a banana later, he fell asleep in my lap.

When you start to introduce real food, you have to go one at a time to make sure the kid isn't allergic to what you're cramming down their gullet.  Also, usually more sleep comes with real food.  But I will tell you, it is terrifying when your baby that might be allergic to bananas sleeps incredibly soundly for 7&1/2 hours.  So terrifying infact, you get approximately, ummm, oh yeah, ZERO sleep because you are constantly wondering if it's been long enough since the last time you checked on him to warrant another check-in.

Good news!  He's not allergic to bananas!

When I dropped him off this morning, one of our favorite teachers, who has been there since Alex was a baby, was the teacher in his room.  I excitedly told her we tried bananas and I produced the remainder of the banana for her to smash up whenever she felt like feeding it to him.  She smiled and teasingly said, "Oh that's're one of those."  Ribbing me for the fact that I would rather make his food and bring it in, than have them feed him the jarred food that they provide as part of his tuition.  Obvisously, she was joking and likes to tease me since I am pretty much the only one that does or has done that.  But it did make me realize something.  I am totally ok with feeding my infant completely manufactured powdered most likely chemically produced formula, but when it comes to feeding him something that I can actually pronounce all the ingredients all the jar, I get all "only natural foods for any baby of mine!"  We've all got our thing I guess.

Storm (Drain) Chaser

Alex has figured out that the storm drains are all connected under the streets.  This discovery of an underground storm drain system has blown his little mind.  He gets so excited when someone comes over to the house so he can explain it to them. He clearly thinks none of us stupid adults know about this system.  Because obviously, there is no way we could know and not be super pumped about it at all times.

It has been raining kinda a lot the last three days or so and his amusement with the drain system is pretty much the only reason I'm not losing it from lack of sunshine.  It was raining hard enough the other day to cause little rivers on the sides of the road.  He only stopped running in the little rivers long enough to grab a handful of straw from Travis's fall yard decorations and drop it in the river to watch where it would go.  He watched it until it went into the drain on our side of the street and then he took off at a sprint across the street to look down into the drain on the other side.  Based on the maniacal laugh screaming, I gathered he saw the straw on the other side.

It's the simple things.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Still Twins

They are about a month and a half different in age in these two pictures, but Sam is getting bigger faster than Alex, so I think we're good to go with the comparison.

I cannot get over how much these two look alike...even down to the little dent right up near their eyes they get when they smile.  Alex's eyes are a bit lighter blue, but other than that?  Twins.


Sam tried rice cereal.  The first go 'round was not even in the same ballpark as pointless.  It was pointless.  Our kitchen table became Gerber Pointless Arena.  We may not get the same big names as the Staples Center, but the shows are amusing nonetheless.  

The beginning of the second attempt had me thinking this kid might just drink formula forever.  But a couple minutes of me cramming spoonhalffulls of goo in his mouth, he started to understand what was happening and was even opening up his mouth like a little baby bird when he spotted the spoon.

I promise he enjoyed it much more than this picture conveys.  I also promise some cereal actually was eaten.

Future Movie Stars

This kid's hair is just too much.  It's long enough that it get snarls in it when I wash it.  But I am not even remotely close to being ready to cut it.  If I cut it, I wouldn't be able to make him look like Ace Ventura!  (Apparently I have a thing about making my kids look like Jim Carrey characters.)

And people say you can only do fun hair things with girls!  Ha!  

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Adventures in School Lunch

Alex has been firmly against getting school lunch.  He wants me to make him a lunch pretty much every day.  And he wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Every time.  I usually throw some veggies in his lunchbox too, but it bothers Travis that he eats pb&j every day, so we've been trying to get him to try school lunch.  A couple days have been successful.  I thought pancake day was going to be a smash hit, but after he said he didn't like the pancakes, I looked at the menu again and saw they served whole grain pancakes.  Now, I get what they're doin' there, but come on.  If you're going to serve pancakes for lunch, which is glorious, do it right.  Don't try to be all sneaky healthy.  Moments like this are where trust issues are born.

Anywho, this morning I thought for sure he was going to get school lunch...

"Hey buddy!  They are serving mini corn dogs for lunch today!"
"I don't like those."
"Yes you do.  You like corn dogs."
"I like regular corn dogs...not the mini ones."
"Dude, they're the same as the regular ones; just without that annoying stick!"
"I like the stick."
"Fine...peanut butter and jelly?"
"YES!  Thanks Mom!"

Friday, October 3, 2014

Lap of Luxury

I got my haircut on Tuesday evening, which means Travis was alone with the boys.  Not that big of a deal, but it's a little tough right now because all Alex wants to do is ride his bike and play outside and all Sam can really do outside is sit in his stroller.  Anywho, I had confidence in Travis's ability to entertain and feed the beasts whilst I was away being pampered.

My confidence was not proven foolish upon my arrival home.  Both boys were in bed and the house (and Travis) were still standing.  I caught a quick glimpse of the living room on my way to the bathroom,and I saw that the couch cushion covers were not on the couch cushions.  This can only mean one thing:   enough of something got on the couch to require removal of the cushion covers to get them in the washing machine.  I inquired as to what happened, and Travis told me he would explain when I got back from the bathroom.  Oh good!  Whatever happened needs explaining!

Apparently while Travis was feeding Sam, Alex was watching a show.  About half way through, he stood up and said, "Uhhhh..Dad?  I had an accident."  And he wasn't kidding.  He had a lot of an accident.  When Travis asked him why he didn't take a break, he said, "Well, I tried to stop once I started, but I couldn't!!"  (His haircut must have been an omen...Lloyd Christmas strikes again.) Pretty sure that's not what Travis meant by taking a break.  Either way, he didn't take a break and there was a lot of pee on the couch.

When we went to bed later, we discovered the dog had lovingly peed on our quilt.  And she peed enough to soak through the quilt, sheet, mattress pad, and into the memory foam mattress topper.  Lucky for us though, the memory foam soaked up all that pee and nothing got on the mattress!  Phew.  Heaven forbid something would get on the mattress that requires a memory foam topper to make it tolerable!

After helping me change the sheets on the bed, Travis went to the bathroom only to find that Alex had missed the toilet one of the times he managed to make it to the bathroom instead of peeing on the couch.  And from the bathroom I heard Travis yelling, "Why does everything in this house have to be covered in pee?!?!?!?"

We live a glamorous life.

Piling Up

Aaaaaaand, let's go ahead and add tennis elbow to the ever increasing list of bodily ailments I am currently enduring.  Because why not?!  We don't want that silly right arm feeling left out now do we?  No no, that just won't do.