Saturday, July 22, 2017

Webster's Eat Your Heart Out

Another entry in the kiddos' dictionary of words I refuse to correct:  

Washing maclean:  def - appliance used to clean clothing/blankets/etc. Ex:  "We can put Blank in the washing maclean and he'll get aaaalllllll clean."

Monday, July 17, 2017

Makes Sense

Alex had some left over ribs for lunch.  He had some stuck in his teeth, so I sent him upstairs to use a flosser thingy.  After about 5 minutes he was at the top of  the steps telling me he almost puked.  Why you ask?  Because he had 4 flossers in his mouth at once and gagged himself.  And why did he have 4 flossers in his mouth at once?  "Because I was being a vampire."

He also delayed our errand running by asking to shower because he was "covered in meat."  To be fair...he was quite messy.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Goin' to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

Daycare took the kiddos on a field trip to the Henry Vilas Zoo today.  It's a free zoo and we didn't have anything goin' on, so Alex and I decided to join them.

So many closed lip Alex smiles.




"We're on the traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done.


Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Ponce de León

I had some errands to run today, one of which was getting the dog's nails trimmed.  Yes, I realize this is a task I could do myself, but she hates it and I'm terrified of hurting her.  And, the pet store does a grinder thingy instead of just clipping them so her nails don't end up so sharp.

Alex had the seats arranged so Aiden would sit with him in the third row seating in the truck, and for the first five minutes of the drive, I could hear him telling her he loved her every minute or so.  And then he said, "Mom?  Wouldn't it be cool if we could find some water that Aiden could take a bath in that would keep her young forever?  Then I could see how fast she used to be and we could just keep her and not ever get a different dog."  Yes buddy, that would be cool.

Will do

At drop off yesterday, Sam stopped me from leaving to run up to me, pat my stomach and say, "Ok Little Mama Baby, you go and be a good boy for daddy."  Uhhhhh, ok?

Jack Hannah He Ain't

I was mowing the lawn yesterday with our little push mower, and I turned a corner and saw something kinda flop out from under the mower.  Upon closer inspection, it was a frog.  Was.  Well, I mean it was still a frog, but a very much dead frog that no longer had all of its complete appendages.  I was super grossed out so I left it laying there upside down with its poor white little belly exposed while I finished mowing.

While I was grabbing the standing dust pan/rake combo we use to pick up dog poo, Alex asked what I was doing.  I told him what happened, and he obviously immediately expressed his desire to see it.  Well...I mean...that's morbid and nasty, but you do come from a family that includes an aunt that intentionally decomposed a toad in a box so she could have a toad skeleton, so let's go scoop us a mangled frog!

We got out there and Alex was appropriately sad, and then asked me to flip it over.  That's when I saw it was missing about half its skull.  As I was gagging, Alex leaned in and announced it was a male frog.  Oh really?  And pray tell, how did you figure that?  "Well, the male frog has a bigger brain than a female frog, so this is a male."  Uh huh.  And you just have a mental catalog of how big an average male and/or female frog brain is?  Ok, sure.

Covert Communication

Lately Alex has decided that an effective way to communicate with me without his brother knowing what he's talking about is to just say the first half of whatever word he wants to say.  So, if he wants to go to Culver's, he'll say, "Mom?  Can we go to...Cul?"  Or if he wants to watch a Wild Kratts..."Mom?  Can I ~head nod toward the TV~...a Wild?"  It's mostly effective but frankly annoying.  Just say what you wanna say!!  If it's something your brother is gonna spaz about, just wait until he's not in the room, or say it discreetly to me.

Anywho, Alex and I were at Costco the other day, and he reminded me multiple times that he really likes the muffins they sell.  And because it's Costco, you get a dozen muffins the size of a gorilla's fist for $7.  They are terrible for you I'm sure.  Especially his favorite flavor:  chocolate with chocolate chunks.  They are a dessert muffin.  But, I'm a sucker for this kid, so we bought some.

But now?  Now when he wants one?  "Hey Mom?  Can I eat a muff?"  It is everything I can do to not cringe and burst out laughing.  

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Laser Tag

As previously mentioned, we did a laser tag party for Alex's birthday.  That shit ain't cheap, so I told him if that was what he really wanted to do, he needed to understand that was the only thing we were getting him for his birthday.  That was his present from us.  What I didn't mention was that it would be rude to point that out to every single person attending said party.

As guests arrived, Alex was standing there and would say, "Hi!  Welcome to my party!  This is my present from my parents."  No pressure or weirdness there.

He is so flippin' cute though, so I'll let it slide.