Friday, July 28, 2017

Lake Red Stone...We Love You.

We spent 5 days at Travis's brother's in-law's lake house this past week.  That place is glorious.  It is a place of fun, relaxation, quiet (when the boys are out futzing around and not wrestling their cousins in the house), and just goodness.  I love it there.  I was sad when I woke up on Thursday and was in my own bed.  I take the same picture every year, but seriously!  Look at this place!!

This year we ended up sleeping all four of us in one king size bed.  This arrangement was caused by Sam being too big for a pack n play and Alex refusing to share a queen size bed with any one of his cousins.  Why?  Because he really like snuggles from Sam and me.  Whatever.

On Sunday night, as I was crookedly spooning Sam with my head where my feet should be, I woke from my light slumber (see above mention of 4 whole humans sleeping in 1 bed) hearing a weird noise.  It took a hot second for me to realize it was Sam peeing.  Yep.  He was laying there, flat on his back, completely asleep, with his overnight diaper pulled down just far enough to get his business out, and was peeing straight into the air, not stirring one bit from his own pee fountain splashing down on and around him.

I jumped up and grabbed a towel to put under him in an effort to stop the pee from seeping through the mattress cover and into the 2" memory foam mattress topper because whhooo boy, I did NOT want to replace that sucker.  And still none of this woke him.  Then?  Then I took his precious Blank away.  You know, because it had PEE ALL OVER IT.  That did it.  That woke him up.  And sent him into a fit a wolverine would be impressed by. my irritation and exhaustion...I gave it back to him.   I handed my pee covered child a pee covered blanket I knew he was going to snuggle with and chew on, and I left the room and slept on the couch.

Other than that and the fact that it has rained so much, the entire lake was in emergency No Wake for all but 1 day we were there, we had a great time as usual.  On the way there, Alex made a list of the things he wanted to do as soon as we arrived:
1.  strash (read:  Stretch)
2.  fish
3.  wiat for Jason and The Platvill boys (read:  wait for Jason and  the Platteville boys)

He held true to his list.  After stretching, he took Sam and Travis right down to the pier while I unloaded the car, and they fished there until the boys showed up.
We had (slow) boat rides, swimming (some naked), jumping off giant rocks into the water, some yard work, boat naps, and campfires.  It was an awesome trip.

And?  Have I mentioned how much I love this view?

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Webster's Eat Your Heart Out

Another entry in the kiddos' dictionary of words I refuse to correct:  

Washing maclean:  def - appliance used to clean clothing/blankets/etc. Ex:  "We can put Blank in the washing maclean and he'll get aaaalllllll clean."

Monday, July 17, 2017

Makes Sense

Alex had some left over ribs for lunch.  He had some stuck in his teeth, so I sent him upstairs to use a flosser thingy.  After about 5 minutes he was at the top of  the steps telling me he almost puked.  Why you ask?  Because he had 4 flossers in his mouth at once and gagged himself.  And why did he have 4 flossers in his mouth at once?  "Because I was being a vampire."

He also delayed our errand running by asking to shower because he was "covered in meat."  To be fair...he was quite messy.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Goin' to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

Daycare took the kiddos on a field trip to the Henry Vilas Zoo today.  It's a free zoo and we didn't have anything goin' on, so Alex and I decided to join them.

So many closed lip Alex smiles.

"We're on the traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Ponce de León

I had some errands to run today, one of which was getting the dog's nails trimmed.  Yes, I realize this is a task I could do myself, but she hates it and I'm terrified of hurting her.  And, the pet store does a grinder thingy instead of just clipping them so her nails don't end up so sharp.

Alex had the seats arranged so Aiden would sit with him in the third row seating in the truck, and for the first five minutes of the drive, I could hear him telling her he loved her every minute or so.  And then he said, "Mom?  Wouldn't it be cool if we could find some water that Aiden could take a bath in that would keep her young forever?  Then I could see how fast she used to be and we could just keep her and not ever get a different dog."  Yes buddy, that would be cool.

Will do

At drop off yesterday, Sam stopped me from leaving to run up to me, pat my stomach and say, "Ok Little Mama Baby, you go and be a good boy for daddy."  Uhhhhh, ok?

Jack Hannah He Ain't

I was mowing the lawn yesterday with our little push mower, and I turned a corner and saw something kinda flop out from under the mower.  Upon closer inspection, it was a frog.  Was.  Well, I mean it was still a frog, but a very much dead frog that no longer had all of its complete appendages.  I was super grossed out so I left it laying there upside down with its poor white little belly exposed while I finished mowing.

While I was grabbing the standing dust pan/rake combo we use to pick up dog poo, Alex asked what I was doing.  I told him what happened, and he obviously immediately expressed his desire to see it.  Well...I mean...that's morbid and nasty, but you do come from a family that includes an aunt that intentionally decomposed a toad in a box so she could have a toad skeleton, so let's go scoop us a mangled frog!

We got out there and Alex was appropriately sad, and then asked me to flip it over.  That's when I saw it was missing about half its skull.  As I was gagging, Alex leaned in and announced it was a male frog.  Oh really?  And pray tell, how did you figure that?  "Well, the male frog has a bigger brain than a female frog, so this is a male."  Uh huh.  And you just have a mental catalog of how big an average male and/or female frog brain is?  Ok, sure.

Covert Communication

Lately Alex has decided that an effective way to communicate with me without his brother knowing what he's talking about is to just say the first half of whatever word he wants to say.  So, if he wants to go to Culver's, he'll say, "Mom?  Can we go to...Cul?"  Or if he wants to watch a Wild Kratts..."Mom?  Can I ~head nod toward the TV~...a Wild?"  It's mostly effective but frankly annoying.  Just say what you wanna say!!  If it's something your brother is gonna spaz about, just wait until he's not in the room, or say it discreetly to me.

Anywho, Alex and I were at Costco the other day, and he reminded me multiple times that he really likes the muffins they sell.  And because it's Costco, you get a dozen muffins the size of a gorilla's fist for $7.  They are terrible for you I'm sure.  Especially his favorite flavor:  chocolate with chocolate chunks.  They are a dessert muffin.  But, I'm a sucker for this kid, so we bought some.

But now?  Now when he wants one?  "Hey Mom?  Can I eat a muff?"  It is everything I can do to not cringe and burst out laughing.  

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Laser Tag

As previously mentioned, we did a laser tag party for Alex's birthday.  That shit ain't cheap, so I told him if that was what he really wanted to do, he needed to understand that was the only thing we were getting him for his birthday.  That was his present from us.  What I didn't mention was that it would be rude to point that out to every single person attending said party.

As guests arrived, Alex was standing there and would say, "Hi!  Welcome to my party!  This is my present from my parents."  No pressure or weirdness there.

He is so flippin' cute though, so I'll let it slide.