Friday, April 30, 2010

Creatively Makeshift

One would think that since Alex has been mobile for a bit now we would have the house pretty much baby-proofed. One would be wrong. It is on my list for this weekend. But since the official baby-proofing hasn't gone into affect yet, I have been forced to improvise.

I did buy a couple gates to facilitate an appropriate situation for me to be able to shower in the morning if the beast is awake. Now, if I need to shower and he is awake, one gate goes in front of the stairs, one gate goes in the doorway to the kitchen, the door to his room and the closet get closed, and TADA!!! the tiniest hallway in all the land becomes a play pen! I do leave the bathroom door open so I can hear him and peek out of the shower and check on every 7 seconds. But since the door is open, he has access to the bathroom cabinet and the toilet. Neither of which have any sort of anti-baby device whatsoever. So currently there is a roll of masking tape on the back of the toilet. Before I get in the shower, the cabinet door and toilet lid get taped in a closed position. Totally keeps him out. White trash much? Yes.

Speaking of tape, we cannot figure out a different way to keep the entertainment center drawers closed. I think the drawer latch thingys that every other parent on the freaking planet uses would work just fine. Trav does not agree. He thinks that if we use those, Alex can get his fingers pinched in the drawers since they would open just a bit. So, to avoid pinched baby sausage fingers, the drawers are currently taped shut with blue masking tape. We are the definition of classy.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Why yes! I woud love some cheese with this whine.

This morning was not a good morning.

Alex was acting like he was tired from the moment he woke up. He was fidgety and whimper-y. He only had the patience to eat about 4oz and then wasn't particularly happy in general. He wasn't happy with being on the floor with his toys. But then he wasn't happy with me holding him. So while I was holding him he was diving forward and twisting around making it impossible to get anything accomplished. The whole time he wasn't happy, he was whining. Whining, whining, whining. Making me crazy, crazy, crazy.

Then I pinched my finger in the baby gate. That was right after I whacked my elbow on the bathroom counter. We were just about out the door when I realized Alex hadn't gotten his medicine. His bright pink medicine. So I gave it to him. While wearing a white hoodie. Didn't notice the bright pink medicine on my white sleeve until I had my hand up close to my face to inspect my knuckle and get the three slivers out from skidding it across the wall in the garage while trying to squeeze the boy's car seat between the car and the wall. Started the car, low fuel alarm dinging at me. And then just to ice the frustrating morning cake...Justin Bieber is on the radio, singing his insanely stupid Eenie Meenie Minee Mo Love Song. I had to take multiple deep breaths to stop myself from crying.

I just really want one morning to myself. One that doesn't include having to get the boy ready too. One morning where Trav has to juggle his morning routine with a whining baby and a barking dog and medicine and formula and banged elbows and slivers. I realize because of his job this can't happen. And that we should be happy that we both have good jobs. But that doesn't make it any less frustrating.

And no, I am not missing the irony of me whining about a whining baby. Shut it.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Guilty McGuilterson

Just get me my Asshole Hat.

We started the amoxicillin yesterday. Two doses in and there is a noticeable difference. The boy isn't coughing as much and his nose is no longer a constant faucet of snot. The most noticeable thing though? He can sleep comfortably. Aside from a 3&1/2 minute fuss at about 4am, he slept the whole night. From 7pm to 6am. Like a baby shaped rock.

So why the Hat? Because instead of comforting my kid, I let him cry. And got frustrated that he was crying. I realize that my extended collegiate career did not include any classes on diagnosing babies. I also realize that this happened almost a week ago. But I still feel like a big ol' meanie.

Slow Down!

I love my husband, but I almost ninja kicked him in the head last night. He intentionally showed Alex how to walk with the walker toy thingy. On purpose. Alex hadn't even thought of that as an option. He is still working on pulling himself up to a standing position on stationary things. He hadn't even thought of pushing something. Wasn't an option. But now? Now it's an option.

I have to admit, it was cute. He looked totally wasted, but he did it. He took about eight steps before plopping down on his butt. I tried to get it on video to prove it to you naysayers (I'm lookin' at you Dad), but by the time I got the Flip out, he was on his third attempt and was not happy. So the only video I currently have, he is pushing the walker thingy but whining and on the verge of crying for the entire 30 seconds. It is not fun listening material. Take two will happen tonight.

Between the learning how to walk and the rapidly getting too big for his car seat carrier, I am almost at anxiety attack stage. The growing and learning and getting big and figuring stuff out and crawling! It's all too much. Slow down little man, Mommy's brain can't take it.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Who knew?

I just love this not knowing what I am doing thing. I thought Alex's cold was on it's way out. And then WHAMO! Yesterday happened. His cough that was mostly gone showed back up. In a major way. A red faced, rattly, making him gag way. And it was coupled with a nose that would not stop running. We had a snotty and coughy baby on our hands. It was not good. So off to the doctor we went this morning.

Turns out he has an ear infection in his left ear and a sinus infection. Goodie goodie gumdrops!

Do ya think having two infections going on in his head would have a little something to do with his sleeping issues? Perhaps. Do ya think I feel like an asshole for letting him cry it out? For sure. But I am just going to have to deal with that.

It is a little nutty to me that he remained all giggly (for the most part) with all of this going on. I had a sinus infection not too long ago, and giggly was no where near the menu for emotions I had going on. He's a tough little cookie I guess.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Happy Friday!

I feel like a completely different person today!

The boy ate a normal amount of food last night without acting like a maniac. And aside from about 5 mins of fussing around 11:30, he slept through the night.

It was glorious. That is all.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Sleep, child. SLEEP.

Oh Cry It Out, how much did I not miss thee? A truck load of llamas packed with provisions for a year-long trek in the Andes, that's how much.

I am not exactly sure when this happened, but it needs to stop. Alex was sleeping through the night like a champ. "Was" is the most important word in that sentence. He is no longer. And hasn't been for I think about a week. I am not really sure as it seems all days and nights and all the times in between have blurred into to one big droopy eyed mess.

He now wakes up around 2:30AM or so and won't sleep unless I am holding him. Like literally refuses. I will rock him until he is so asleep he is almost snoring. And when I put him down, the millisecond one hair on his head touches the sheet his face scrunches up, his legs start kicking, and the crying/whining/screaming starts. You would think I am laying him down on a bed of rusty nails.

I think this started when he was sick. I felt bad when he was fussing when he was sick, so I would comfort the holding, snuggling, rocking way. Turns out he likes sleeping like that. Weird right? So even though he isn't sick anymore, he continues to like sleeping while being snuggled and rocked. Not good. The other problem with this is that on week nights, I have been just rocking him for a while because it is shorter than letting him cry. And I like to sleep.

But last night, I decided it needed to stop. So I went down and checked on him..shockingly he was fine. The tornado of kicking feet when I didn't pick him up and instead just covered him up and walked out was craziness. And then he cried. And screamed. And cried. For almost an hour. It sucked.

This time it was ripping my heart out to not go ease his frustration. And then Travis started snoring. So I kicked him. I am not about to feel horrible about my screaming child not only knowing, but also hearing that I am going through it alone. No thank you.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Stupid teeth. Who needs 'em?

The kid that I knew no longer lives in my house. He has been replaced with a very close replica, but the replacement Alex does not eat anything solid. Scratch that. He will eat three bites of anything solid. But that is it. No more.

Apparently he is eating at daycare. Not as much as normal, but eating. And without the insane wolverine routine that we get to witness at home. The daycare teachers don't know how lucky they have it.

Once again I am back to blaming his wretched behavior on teething. I didn't think he was working on any of those horrid little white demons until last night. His right cheek was bright red. Only the right one. I am taking a stab in the I-have-no-idea-what-the-hell-I-am-doing-on-a-daily-basis dark and saying that somewhere on the right side of his mouth, he is growing a tooth or two. Aside from the trademark flushed cheeks, or cheek in this instance, he will readily eat things that are hard and kinda scratchy. Cheerios, puffs, corn flakes. I am thinkin' he's got that tooth pain that feels better when you irritate it. A good hurt. Like making it hurt more on purpose makes it feel better when you are not intentionally making it hurt. Make sense?

Anywho, here's to hoping the tooth or teeth will soon be in and the food strike will be over. He is just a little peanut...he doesn't have much weight to give!

Monday, April 19, 2010


It's safe to say yesterday was my biggest fail yet. The day started off all innocent. Sun shining, birds chirping, baby giggling. He even was super content just sitting on his outdoor play mat with a couple toys while I raked the zillion sticks strewn about our backyard. Based on the amount of sticks in our lawn, I think the tree in the backyard has it out for us.

The failing started before the raking though. I took Alex with me to run some errands. It was only after going to Target and the pet store and Home Depot that I realized the base I had been clicking his car seat into at each stop was not strapped into the car. AT ALL. When we were leaving Home Depot, I clicked him in and thought the base was a little wiggly. Gee, Ya Think?! Yeah, it will wiggle a little when it is just sitting on seat with no safety apparatus attached to it.

Then the fail reached epic levels when I tried to feed the boy his dinner. He was on a food strike. No clue why, but he wouldn't eat. He would have two bites and then yell at me while wrenching his body and flailing his arms in a very successful campaign to stop me from getting a spoon anywhere near his mouth. After trying three different foods, I totally and completely lost it. He kept trying to grab things off the table, so I swiped everything within reach off the table onto the floor. Tried to give him a spoonful of food, resulting only in more body writhing and arm flailing while yelling at me. And then I stepped right past my breaking point. I threw his spoon, which was covered with peas and carrots, over his head, across the kitchen, and into the sink. While loudly stating that, Fine. Don't eat. I don't care. I put him on the floor in his Bumbo, loudly shut some cupboards and went to the bathroom to set up a bath for him. He was not happy about the floor/Bumbo situation and was screaming. Maybe it was my imagination, but from what I could decipher, he was mostly screaming about how much I suck.

It was at that point that Travis came in from washing the car and made me take a minute...or five. Which I did and was able to come back to the situation much calmer. Crying, but much calmer. After asking if I was alright, Trav handed Alex back to me so I could give him a bath.

The bath is great. It fixes everything. Everything except guilt. I was immediately enveloped in a soggy, wet, massively heavy, itchy wool blanket of guilt. I could not keep it together to figure out how to help my child. And because of that, he got super duper upset. Upset enough that he had a red mark on his back from wrenching around in his Bumbo chair. Gut stabbing, heart wringing guilt. It was horrible.

Alex forgave me. He snuggled up tight with me and his blanket while he ate his bottle. Looking up at me and then snuggling in deeper each time. I held on to him for a long time last night.

I know it happens to a lot of parents. I know everyone has their breaking point. It just super sucks when you reach it. Over dinner Travis reminded my that I need to tell him when I need a break so I don't reach that horrible point. You would think that would be common since right? Apparently not. But it is over now. I have a renewed sense of where my breaking point is so hopefully I will not be breaching that point again any time soon. Not my best day as a mom. But today's a brand new day. Hopefully I can keep the suck amount to an appropriate level.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Parenting FAIL

So as I stated previously, the boy has been waking up at ridiculous hours in the morning with his mouth open like a hungry pterodactyl. So I have been trying to give him more food before bed to help him make it to an acceptable time in the morning. Because I am selfish. And sleepy. And I love my bed. And my pillow. Oh, how I love my pillow! I am a bit of a pillow freak and this pillow? This one that I currently have? Fan-fucking-tastic. And I got two for the price of one! So I have a back up fan-fucking-tastic pillow! Does it get any better? No, it does not...well, except for getting to spend more time with my head on said pillow.

Anyway! Back to the food and me cramming my baby full of it...

We have also been trying to feed him his dinner a little later each day. We/he had slipped into a habit of feeding him right when we got home which was an issue if I needed to go anywhere after work. He would just look at me like, Target? Really? Great. Are they going to serve me dinner while you look at shirts? No. Let's get home shall we? So we have been slowly pushing back his dinner time. Last night, he had dinner at 6:30 or so. Then I put him in his PJ's and sat down with him, his blanket and his bottle. Which he almost finished. It was a 9oz bottle. So I am thinking, Sweet Action! He is gonna sleep great! I give him a kiss, put him in his crib and close the door.

About ten minutes later he is kinda fussing. Nothing terrible, but enough that I knew he wasn't going to fall asleep. So I go in to check and make sure he isn't stuck on his hands and knees again. And no, he wasn't stuck, he was laying on his side...with his head resting in a giant puddle of puke. Yeah...I think maybe perhaps I fed him a bit too much.

So bed time was delayed by a bath, an outfit change, a bed sheet change and a little extra rocking. But he slept straight through until 5:30! Win?

Thursday, April 15, 2010


The crawling has progressed faster than I thought it would. I was hoping we would have at least a little while of slow, I can still catch you type of crawling. Not so much. I mean I can still catch him, but that kid's got some speed. And determination. Especially when the dog dishes are in sight. Those things are a never ceasing temptress for him. And now when he sees them, he takes off crawling toward them...with an evil cackle erupting from his mouth as each stride gets him closer. A really big part of me just wants to let him play with the bowls in hopes they will not prove as exciting as he anticipates. But then I realize that is a flawed thought process and just move the damn bowls.

It is pretty cool to watch him though. You can totally see the wheels spinning in his furry little head. He will be totally content playing with his toys, until something catches his eye. He sits there for a split second, but then realized he has the ability to get that something. And off he goes. Yesterday, he saw his sippy cup on the coffee table, crawled over to the table, pulled himself up on his knees and grabbed the cup off the table.

Believe it or not, I am not having a problem with this change! It is so cool watching him learn, and so time consuming making sure he doesn't hurt himself or destruct anything, I am totally distracted from freaking out that he is no longer a tiny little helpless baby.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Early Birds and Worms

Alex's new wake up time seems to be somewhere in the general area of 4:30AM. Sometimes a little earlier, sometimes a little later...all times killing me. I would like to know who or what reset his internal alarm clock. And I would like to smack them.

This morning wasn't too bad. He woke up at 4:45am, ate, and then we napped on the couch. I supposed I can deal with that. But I would be so much happier if the first number on the clock was a 5 instead of a 4. I realize it shouldn't matter if I get to fall back asleep, but in my little head it does matter. 4-anything is way too early. 5-anything is barely acceptable. 9-something would be preferred, but we can't always get what we want.

He wakes up hungry so it's not like he's just being a little shit that can't figure out how to lay back down after getting up on all fours. Oh yeah...that happened. Quite a few times actually. I would wake up to tortured howls and screams coming through the monitor and go to check on him. Only to find him in his crib, on his hands and knees, EYES CLOSED, and crying. I don't get it. Why when he is sleeping can he not figure out how to lay back down, but when he is awake and reaches his destination after crawling he splats out on his stomach like a beached whale? Sleepy baby=confused baby.

Anywho, yes, he is hungry. That crawling business is hungry work I guess. I have been packing him full of as much food and formula as his little belly will hold before bed. But it doesn't matter. His little body gobbles it all up and by 4:30 it needs more. And I sleepily oblige.

Friday, April 9, 2010


The videos daycare sent yesterday of Alex crawling were awesome. But they didn't even come close to doing the cuteness of my baby crawling any justice. It is seriously the cutest thing I have ever seen. Ever.

He is still such a little peanut-sized baby, I think it looks hilarious when he crawls.

There is one slight issue. He won't crawl to me, just to be with me. Oh no. If it's just me waiting he just stays in one spot, on all fours, whining. But, if you put a cell phone just out of his reach? Crawling machine. So already at 9 months, cell phones are cooler than me. Can't wait to see what I take second fiddle to in 2 years!

Anywho...check out this link to see him in all his crawling glory.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

He did it!

Look out world, Alex T. Julius is mobile. He has finally figured out how to get all four flailing limbs to work together for the common goal of forward motion.

We have yet to witness it as the little stinker decided to figure it out at daycare, but I did get a video of it sent to me this morning. It definitely makes me sad that I have to work full time and have missed this big first. And am going to miss a lot of firsts. But the flip side of that...the teachers at daycare are so excited. The director sent me the video right after she took it and then squealed with delight right along with me on the phone when I called her. And yes, squealing is the best and only descriptor for the sounds coming out of both of our mouths! We sounded like a couple of hyper-active pigs.

I am so excited and scared all at once with this milestone. Now we've got proof that he is continuing to grow and develop. But the previous milestones did not involve chasing and baby proofing and chasing. And some more chasing.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


I picked Alex up from daycare yesterday and off to the grocery store we went. The shoppers were not exactly in tune with their surroundings, so the task of completing our list took a lot longer than usual. And then upon inspection of the receipt, I realized the cashier double charged us for our french fries and olive oil. Now the fries I wasn't hell bent on going and getting the credit for, but the olive oil? It was $7.99. I am willing to pay the eight bucks once, but not twice. So to make a long shopping trip longer we had to head over to customer service to get a credit. Alex was in a great mood the entire time. Smiling at the butcher, giggling at the faces I was making, talking to his nuk. And I am thinking, Yeah! We've got this having a baby and still functioning like normal humans thing down!

We get home and as I'm talking to Kari while holding Alex I realize his diaper has leaked and his jeans are wet. So I hastily get off the phone and go to change him. Oh it had leaked alright. Leaked poo.
E-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. There was poo mushed onto his undershirt onesie thing. Poo smeared all on the inside of his jeans. There was poo on every square inch of skin that was covered by his diaper...and some square inches the diaper didn't cover. And of course, the second I took his nasty stinky poo-filled diaper off...he grabbed his nasty stinky poo-covered butt. I couldn't figured out what to wipe off first. The flailing poo-hands, the kick-boxing poo-legs, or the barrel rolling poo-body.

And within 17 seconds I no longer felt like a functioning normal human. I had been transformed into a frantic monkey mother trying to stop her hairy little baby from throwing poo on the walls.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Thank you Easter Bunny! Bock Bock!

Some times people are very predictable. Easter Sunday was one of those times. My mom and Alex were two of those people.

My mom went gloriously overboard on presents for the kids. She hid 86 eggs for the kids to hunt. And almost all 86 had money in them. There are only 3 kids old enough to participate in the hunt. Abby and Max both found over $20 worth of eggs. Plus some candy filled eggs. Plus baskets that were hidden in the house. I wonder why they love being at Grandma and Grandpa's so much?

Alex also received a basket. Although he didn't have to hunt for it. That whole immobility thing got in the way, so his basket was delivered to him. Maybe he has it all figured out and the immobility is all a big fat ruse to get us to wait on him hand and foot. Anyway, true to form he took everything out of his basket one by one, set each thing off to the side (read: chucked everything out of the basket), and played with the empty basket. He couldn't be bothered with the adorable new outfit, or the fuzzy stuffed bunny, or the new book, or the new ring stacker toy. Nope. He is an empty container man.

So for his birthday when anyone asks what they should get him...Tupperware. Preferably empty.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sleepy McSleeperton

Lucky for me, Travis was thinking this morning. He had to go to work insanely early, so he was out of the house before I was even thinking about waking up. I woke up at 5:30 and sleepily said, Eh...the beast will be up soon, I'll just close my eyes until he wakes up. You would think I would learn. Here's where Trav's thinking comes in. My phone ringing woke me up. At 6:16. It was Travis calling just to make sure I was awake.

It usually takes the boy and me about an hour and a half to get ready, fed, dressed and out the door. We made it today in the hour we had, INCLUDING a shower for me. Which I am sure my co-worker is very happy about!

I really need to stop using Alex as an alarm clock. He is not proving to be very reliable. And his snooze function doesn't work AT ALL.