Wednesday, May 23, 2018


We have a bunch of robins in our neighborhood.  And they all love sitting on the crossbar of our swing set.  Last year, I put bird deterrent ribbon up there, but is SUPER reflective.  Like it was frequently temporarily blinding me while inside the house.  So while it worked to keep the birds away, I'm thinkin' my neighbors (whose house is situated slightly uphill from ours) were probably none too thrilled with that solution.

So back to the drawing board this year.  I saw the idea of using fake snakes as a bird deterrent somewhere, so I figured I'd give that a shot.  I ordered a rubber snake from Amazon and nailed that sucker to the crossbar.

Yeah....I think I might need to come up with a Plan C.

Like Father... son.

Chewy Chewy Chewy Chewy

I had to mow the lawn yesterday.  Like it HAD to be done.  Out of control.  Anywho, I started before Alex was home and had Miss Lulu outside with me.  This set up is ok, but not ideal as she is not quite completely respecting yard boundaries.  So, when Alex got home, I asked him to keep her inside and keep an eye on her.  Apparently the second part of that request went unheard as soon as he and his buddy started playing WWE on the Xbox.

Travis got home just as I was finishing up taming the rain forest we were calling a lawn, and as I was emptying the last of EIGHTEEN mower bagger's full of clippings, I heard Travis inside yelling, "Why in the WORLD is there bubble gum on the dog?!?!"  Uhhhhh, wat.

Yeah, Alex and his buddy were playing video games and taking breaks running upstairs to grab pieces of Double Bubble off the counter.  During a break from shredding the legal pad I use for my work phone log, Lulu decided she needed some gum too.  Apparently she didn't like it, or was chewing with her mouth open, because it got out of her mouth, stuck to the carpet for a hot second and then matted itself into her side while also leaving a 4" string of gum across her side like an arrow pointing to the giant wad of gum that was stuck to her.

Lots of olive oil and a scissors later, she is gum free.  Alex has apologized profusely and helped me clean up the rest of the mess she made while he was so diligently "watching" her.  Sam narrated the whole thing mostly informing me he was pretty sure it was hurting her.  Even though she was almost asleep in my lap. 

Everything is under control.

4 years

Monday was Sam's birthday.  We are officially in the F'ing Fours.  Oh are we ever.  We are full on in the stage of life where anything not exactly how he wants it incites a full on tantrum.  Last night's tantrum started with him throwing a tablet at his brother and ended with him in his room yelling that he hated me over and over and over for about 4 minutes.  So that was fun.

His actual birthday was good though.  He got a bike, toys, and dinner out.  And he got to show off his completely natural camera ready smile...

Happy Birthday Samalamdingdong!

Friday, May 11, 2018

Go The F*** to Sleep!

There's a reason Go The F*** to Sleep is such a sucessful book.  Children are monsters that do not believe in rest.  And anyone who has braved this nightly endeavor can tell you it is so freaking frustrating.

Alex is getting better about it, but he is easily drawn back to the siren sound of f'ing around and asking for a zillion ridiculous requests.  But...Sam has worn him down.  He is a ragged shell of himself by the time he finally gets Sam to shut up.  (And that is after we've been trying to get him to bed for a good half hour.)  Most nights we can hear Sam jabbering and then finally we hear, "SAM!  Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"  And we laugh and laugh.

Sam is doing one thing every night that I just can't help but laugh about though.  I get him all snuggled in, and he looks up at me and says, "I need to tell Alex something."  I remind him Alex can hear him as he is simply on the bunk above him, but I am told he needs to see Alex while he tells him something.  So he rolls out of bed, climbs up to the top of the ladder, and says, "So...Alex...when I was younger..." and then sets off into a story of complete jibberish.  Every. Single. Night.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

"Uggggggggggggh, Mooooooooooom."

The attitude floating around this house the past week or so has got to change.  From both boys.

Any time Sam doesn't get what he wants, he rounds his back, jams his arms down by his sides with his hands in little fists, sticks his head out forward, angry pout-walks away from me while growling or yelling, "You are not doing what I want and it is making me VERY frustrated!"  Good job identifying that feeling buddy.  Now stop being such an ass about it.

Alex's mode of expression usually teeters between two main themes.  He will exhibit some undesirable behavior, I will tell him if he keeps it up he will lose privileges, he continues whatever it is he's doing, I will announce that he has lost a privilege, and then he goes into panic/begging mode.  "No! No! No! No! No!  I won't do it anymore!  I promise!  No! No! No! No!"  Ooooooooor, he will  immediately get super pissed and just make angry guttural noises while he stomps away.  Both of these things make my freaking blood boil.  (And yes, I get that's probably why he chooses these behaviors.  Shut it, Freud.)  I couldn't listen to it anymore the other night, and I yelled so loudly I peed a little.

So yeah, things are super good over here.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Breathe breathe breathe

She's cute and she makes Alex happy.
She's cute and she makes Alex happy.
She's cute and she makes Alex happy.
She's cute and she makes Alex happy.
She's cute and she makes Alex happy.


Nope.  Saying it over and over is not making me not pissed about this.

Oh yes, you are in fact seeing pieces of a cord from the brand new lamp I bought, that was plugged in to the freaking wall!  Not pictured here?  The other pile of shredded paper and the pile of poo even though I have let her out THREE TIMES in 4 hours.  One of those times, witnessing her pooing!