Thursday, December 29, 2011

Riddle me this...Who the hell makes a pill that floats?  I have a sinus infection and finally got some antibiotics to combat the evil going on in my face.  But this antibiotics are super light.  And the float.  So when you put them in your mouth with water, they just bob around in there like a little antibiotic float toy.  And then when you swallow, it stays on top of the water and doesn't let said water do it's job of flushing it down your throat.  In fact it rides on top of the water sticking to your throat the whole way down.  So now I have a sinus infection and I feel like I have a pill stuck in my throat.

Happy Birthday to me!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Mall Rats

Alex's aunt and uncle from Platteville were in Madison last night doing some shopping.  Platteville's a cute town, but if you  need to any shopping that doesn't involve Wal-Mart you are shit outta luck.  So they either go to Dubuque (barf) or Madison (YAY!).  I happened to be talking to his aunt before they left and really maturely just kept yelling Madison!Madison!Madison! until she agreed they would come here so we could meet them.  Gee...I wonder where Alex gets his mad negotiation skills from?

As we are pulling out of the garage, Alex excitedly yells from the back seat, "Look Mom!  It's a banana moon!  The moon is a banana!"  If you try to tell me that isn't the cutest description of a crescent moon you have ever heard, check your pulse, you're dead inside.

We got to the mall first so we headed in to JCPenney's to hopefully exchange Travis's new wedding ring.  Why does he need a new wedding band?  Because he didn't listen to his super smart wife that is always right and he didn't get it sized after he lost 50lbs, 'cause, ya know, why would you get a ring sized that falls off your finger when your hand is hanging at your side.  Aaaand he lost it.  And I didn't loose it.  I simply gave him an I Told You So shrug and left it at that.  And then I didn't like him not wearing his ring.  And he didn't like not wearing his ring.  And he whined about it a lot.  So I surprised him with a new one.  Buuuut in total winning at life fashion, I bought the wrong size.  Lucky for us, last night they had the right size! 

We headed upstairs after that.  Up the escalator.  And then we went down the escalator.  And back up and back down.  And then his aunt and uncle got to go up and down the escalator.  That kid loves him some moving stairs.  His aunt and I were going to a girly store, so the boys went to the sports store.  We found them when we were the sports store...going up and down the escalator.

For every journey on the stairs, Alex had his trademark look of determination.  Eyes focused, feet planted, tongue sticking out to the side of his mouth.

Presents part Deux

Our second Christmas morning was immediately following the first, but at my parents' house.  With waaay  more people.  15 people to be exact.  3 of which are under the age of 4.  It was a little nutty.  In years past when we didn't have little present maniacs ruling the family, our gift opening was known to take up to three hours.  This year...I think it was about 45 minutes.

About 15 minutes in, Alex was getting a little overwhelmed.  My mom could see him starting to lose it, so she swooped in with the present of all presents.  A vacuum.  I have been waiting for this present for so long.  This kid loooooooves to vacuum.  Almost every day he asks to vacuum at home.  Usually he is cool with just using the regular vacuum which is loud enough, but some days he want to use the shop vac like he used to.  And he wants to use it for an extended period time.  And I am quickly reminded how much I hated it when he wanted to use it every single day and I want to pull my hair out while shoving giant earplugs in my head.  But I digress.

So, he opens the vacuum and immediately turns it on and leaves the room.  He went down the hall and started vacuumming one of the back bedrooms.  He was done with us and our silly presents.  He had work to do.

The other presents topping the list were a Shake and Go Mater and some Cars stickers.  The Mater is constantly zooming around our living room and I got to go to the zoo with a pocket full of Cars stickers on Monday.  Livin' the dream baby.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011


We had two Christmas mornings this year.  Due to the lack of space at the Zinniel Inn, Travis, Alex and I stayed at my sister's house.  So we had our first Christmas morning at her house.  Her kids woke up around 5:30 to open presents.  Alex was right there awake with them, but not out of excitement.  He was awake because he was sleeping with Travis and I.  And although he can still easily fit in his crib, a queen size bed was not providing nearly enough room for him to sprawl while sharing it with us.  This lack of space was demonstrated by his feet being jammed into my chest, stomach and face at various points throughout the night.  So, we were all up at 5:30 ready to tear into some presents.

In the middle of opening presents, Alex looked at his cousin and said, "Abby, you my best friend."  And she wasn't even currently en route with a present!  I was juuuuust about brought to tears.  I didn't even realize he knew what that meant, much less have a best friend in mind.

Travis then reminded me of the scene in Cars where Mater tells Lightning he is his best friend.  Which at first kinda took away some of the sentiment of the moment for me.  But now that I think about it, it makes it that much better.  That kid knows that movie inside and out, forward and back.  And he is very versed in the relationship between Mater and Lightning.  He gets what friendship means.  And he decided his cousin is his best friend...even before she took him for his first horse back ride.  I'm guessin' that only solidified his choice.

Sure footed

While we were home, my nephew that is 3 months younger than Alex needed to borrow a pair of pants and some socks.  Since we had already borrowed 2 diapers from him, I thought it only fair to let him use Alex's clothes.  Granted I wanted the clothes returned...and not in the state the diapers were when Alex was done with them.

Any way, on went the pants and socks.  And my nephew immediately told my sister that the socks were not good.  That would be because they are big enough to fit my child's fat ogre feet.  And my nephew's normal child sized feet were left uncomfortably wearing the baggy socks of his ogre footed cousin.

Pretty sure this can't be explained away by the age difference.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Thanks Santa!

So the only benefit of this over week long stomach bug/cold thing I have goin' on...losin' weight baby!  I really don't have to much of an appetite, but when I do I am only eating a normal size portion.  It's like magic!  Currently at -27lbs.  I will take that little Christmas present and run with it.

Also, I have committed to running a half-marathon. And just recently talked the girls running I am running with into doing a different race.  A race later than March 3rd.  Because if we did the March 3rd one, we would have to start training on Monday.  The day after Christmas.  The Monday that is in like 4 days.  And frankly that scares the shit out of me.  So, we're are going to do the practical and sensible thing...procrastinate!  Yay!

I am really excited about it though.  I think it is going to be a huge challenge and it is something I have wanted to do for quite some time.  But wowsers, it is intimidating.  I have only run one "race" and that was only an 8K. This one will be 13.1 MILES.  Yeeeeaaaahhh.  Scary.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Winter WonderYUCK

We have had one night of snow so far.  And that only produced about an inch.  Which is almost all gone already.  So everything is brown and boring and not Christmastastic.  This is the only time I want snow.  Just doesn't feel right without it.

Our new neighbor from California was very excited about the minimal snow we did get.  So excited in fact, he shoveled his sidewalk and half of ours.  When Travis thanked him, he said he was having so much fun shoveling for the first time, he just didn't want to stop.  Travis just responded with, Yeah...the first time pretty much uses up all the "fun" of it.

Alex was also very excited about the snow.  Mostly just walking around in it making tracks.  But then Travis introduced him to the devious side of snow.  There I was, innocently unloading the dishwasher while the boys were outside getting the grill ready.  Due to the location of the dishwasher, my back was to the door.  So, I didn't have the luxury of seeing the little brats when they came in.  Didn't look at them until I felt it.  A big ol' snowball exploding on my ass.  The eruption of laughter and high fives was a nice touch too.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Made my day

Alex woke up way too early this morning.  I went down to get him and more than happily suggested we lay down on the couch.  He was all about it and fell asleep within a couple minutes.  I snuggled with him for a bit, but eventually I had to get up and get ready for the day.  So, I gently slid my arm out from under him and tucked him in with his blankets.

When it was about time for him to wake up, I continued with my morning routine, but with less of a conscious effort to be moderately quiet.  But he slept on.  So I was surprised to hear him say something after I sneezed in the kitchen.  I couldn't hear what he said and he repeated it, but I still couldn't hear him so I went in the living room to find him with his blankets snuggled up under his chin and him looking up at me, smiling like a goofball.  I leaned over and asked him again what he said.  He snuggled in a little tighter, closed his eyes and said, "I said 'Bless you Mama.'"

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Sweet Dreams

Last night as soon as we walked in the door, I found myself saying, "I cannot wait until 8pm when he goes to bed."  Not that he was being hard to deal with, but just because I wasn't quite over the stomach thing I had and I was tired and I just didn't have it in me to be a good parent.  All I wanted was my couch, my blanket and my eyes closed.

And I immediately felt guilty about that little wish.  Mostly because he was being really funny and sweet last night.  But also because that is a pretty selfish thing to wish for.  How selfish do you have to be to want your kid, who is managing to not piss you off at every turn, to just go to bed and leave you alooooooone.  I did quickly forgive myself for it though.  I am not SuperMom, but I am a pretty darn good mom in my opinion and even pretty darn good moms don't want to be moms all the freaking time.

And then I realized this whole thing was something I wanted to write down.  But I knew I would forget by the time I was sitting in front of my computer the next day.  So I grabbed our fancy new Samsung Galaxy tablet thingy, pulled up the ol' blog, and tried to jot down a few notes.  The following is the outcome:

wantIng hIm to go to bed...not beIng able to waIt untIl 8. feeling

I could not figure out why every time I typed the letter "i" it was capitalizing itself and asked Trav if he had any ideas.  Apparently this tablet thing is set up for "Swype" typing.  It's a fancy touch screen way of typing words and I suck at it so I don't use it.  I learned that when it is set that way and you don't use it, the letter "i" will always be capitalized.  Dumb.  Any way, all of this learning spurred an impromptu debate between Travis and I about using Swype.  And during said debate, Alex was jabbing his chubby little fingers at the screen of the tablet.  By the time I gave up defending my stance of using old school letter by letter typing, Alex had done something that disengaged the virtual keyboard entirely.  And try as I might, both with Swype and without, I could not get another word on my screen.

The whole time I was trying to figure out what my IT mastermind of a child had done, my ears were being beaten with a constant stream of, Whatdoingmamawhatdoingmamawhatdoingmama.  I couldn't help it and answered, Trying to figure out what the heck you did to my computer!

And from then on, I was blessed with a 2&1/2 year old saying, "The heck you doing!"...very excitedly...on repeat.  And it was only 6:45.


Being sick sucks.  Being sick with a 2&1/2 year old that likes to bounce on you and use you as a personal jungle gym really really sucks.  And going back to work while you still kinda feel like poo, also sucks.

But coming back to work and having every person you talk to tell you how happy they are that you are back...eases the suckage of being a sick a little bit.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Helper Elf

We put up our Christmas tree on Saturday.  I got the lights on after a horrible first attempt that would have resulted in a very bright top half of tree.  And when I plugged it in, Alex was suuuuper excited.  So I figured he would be excited about putting ornaments on the tree.  Which he was for a little bit.  This is as far as he got before he was done and wanted to build a fort.

Six, count 'em, 6 ornaments, all strategically placed in one elegant cluster...and then he gave up.

It's gonna be a fancy Christmas at the Julius house this year, no?

Friday, December 9, 2011

I just want enough time to write instead of working at this silly job that pays me money that my writing does not in fact do.  Is that too much for a girl to ask?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

All I hear when I see this....Try it. I dare ya.

I laugh at your time-out

So, time outs aren't having the lasting effect I was hoping for.  They have proven useful for immediately stopping whatever horrendous behavior is happening, but so far the threat of a time out holds no power whatsoever.  So the old "Do you want to sit in a time out?"...nothin.  He even said yes once when I asked him.

I don't know if he really isn't getting the fact that actions have consequences, if he is testing me each time to see if I will really do it, or if he just straight up doesn't give a shit if he sits in a time out.  I truly don't think the first option is even a viable one, but I figure if I throw it in there, it leaves at least one option that doesn't include him being a jerk.

Since those are the cards on the table, I have changed the game.  Sooner or later I will find a game that I can win, right?  When the situation permits, instead of putting him in a time out, I take away whatever thing he is interested at that moment.  You don't want to stop swinging the vacuum cord over your head?  The vacuum is suddenly sleepy and needs to be put away.  You don't want to lay still so I can change your soaked diaper and clothes?  Cars is no longer a viewing option.  And, dude, I do not care at all  that you wanted to have the privilege of turning the tv off.  That option was gone the first time you landed your fat little foot in my stomach.  We shall see what kind of results this attack produces.

And just when I think I cannot possibly deal with him anymore, he does something like this...

This would be his newest "silly face".  He sits in the backseat of the car and says, "Mama, look at me!"  And when I turn around, this is the face he makes.  And then he laughs and laughs.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Sunshine and smiles

Nothing like starting your morning accidentally smacking the leg of your fit throwing toddler while trying to change his diaper and having him fa-reak out.  Lots of gasping for air in between sobs.  He did stop kicking me though...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Alex is now actively not listening.  Super duper.  Sometimes he even looks me right in the eye and does whatever it is I have told him not to do.  So infuriating.  He is however quickly learning the definition of consequences.

Sunday evening, he was running around with a Push-Up Pop.  I had told him he could have it, but he had to sit with me while he ate it in an effort to save my parents' white living room carpet while simultaneously not missing the Packer game.  For a short time, he agreed to this arrangement.  And then the sugar hit his blood stream and he took off.  I went after him and told him twice if he didn't sit with me I was going to take the Push-Up away.  Both times he ran away even faster.  I would have only told him once before taking it away, but I couldn't catch the little jerk.  So, he got two warnings.  And then I caught him by the back of his shirt.  And I took the Push-Up and threw it in the garbage.  My walk to the garbage can was set to the "Alex Throwing a Giant Fit" soundtrack.  At which point, I explained to him that had he listened to the instructions I had given him, he would not be in this predicament.  His response?  "I want to listen now!"

Too late sucker.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Good night sweetheart

After we read stories, Alex usually asks me to sing him a song while I hold him, standing in front of his crib.  We have to stand there.  If I try to be lazy and sit with him for the singing portion of the evening, he is very quick to request a new venue.  I pretty much spoil him during pre-bed time, so standing at his crib is where it's at.

Last night, the song he requested?  The ABC's.  Awesome.  So I start singing.  I get to E, and he puts his little hand up and says, "Stop please Mama.  Sing like this..." And he starts singing the ABC's.  Pretty much exactly like I was.  There's not a ton of available variation or artist interpretation allowed with that one.  So I tried again.  Only to get the same response.  So, once more I tried to exactly mimic his singing.  This went on four times until I was laughing so hard I couldn't sing and he was shaking all over in arms because my whole body was shaking with laughter.

Tough crowd at the Julius house.

Lost & Found

We have been missing one of Alex's juice cups for about two weeks.  I found it this morning while retrieving his other juice cup from under the back seat of my car while simultaneously picking up the scattered cheerio/froot loop mix that had just moments before been spilled everywhere because my darling boy doesn't like the lid on his snacktrap that is there specifically to stop the snacks from spilling out.

Found:  a zillion pieces of cereal and 2 juice cups.
Still missing:  my sanity.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Fun with X-rays

So, the dry cough the beast had turned into a deep chest cough which turned into a visit to the doctor to make sure it is just a cold and nothing nastier is growing in his lungs.  The doctor listened to him breathe, poked around a bit and decided she didn't think it was anything bad, but wanted chest x-rays to be sure.

Chest x-rays.  Of a 2&1/2 year old.  This outta be good.

As soon as we got in the x-ray room, Alex very obviously knew something was up.  And all hell broke loose when I started to take his shirt off.  He was not cool with being in a weird room and not being completely clothed.  Luckily, they only had to take two x-rays and since I am not knocked up with a second coming of the beast child, I could stand with him which helped.  He was still upset, but at least I could keep him looking at me and, although he was crying, he would hold still.

We went back to the regular exam room to look at the x-rays with the doctor.  She didn't see anything other than run of the mill congestion in his lungs.  So she isn't worried.  Good good.  I have to tell you, it freaked me out to see my baby's little skeleton on that x-ray.  I don't know why, but I did not like it.  I also wasn't a big fan of the fact that from that picture you could tell that kid was gonna poop at any minute.

So as the doctor is telling me she isn't concerned by what the x-rays show and telling me that we should just keep doing what we have been doing, I realize I am sitting on my knees on the floor looking up at her like an obedient little puppy.  I was down there entertaining Alex while we were waiting, but apparently did not see it fit to get up and sit in a chair to talk to a woman that has more knowledge in one brain cell than I have in my entire block head.  Stay classy Julius.

I pack up the boy, drop him back at daycare, and head back into the insane bee hive that is my computer and phone at work.  As I am unpacking my stuff at my desk, my coworker and I are catching up on the morning.  And I notice he is looking at my chest a lot.  Not a normal occurrence.  So finally I look down.  And there is a giant Tonka Truck sticker of a semi-truck plastered over my left boob.  C-l-a-s-s-y.