Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy Birthday

I was getting ready to go out for dinner and some drinks for my birthday on Saturday, and as I smeared the facial hair remover creme over my upper lip, the bathroom light caught my neck wrinkles juuuuuust right and that's when it hit me.  35 is totally my year.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Go to Sleeeeeep!!!

Bed time around the Julius house has gotten a wee bit out of control.  The beast can sense it coming and winds himself up tighter than a cymbal playing monkey on high powered batteries.  You can actually watch his inner silly ramp up minute by minute.  And unfortunately, he's really funny so his super mature parents are absolutely no help.

After Travis read him four stories, Alex announced he wanted me to lay down with him for a while.  I know it's probably a bad idea and it is definitely forming a bad habit, but I love this time with him.  He's usually snuggly and very chatty.  Last night he was super fidgety though too.  It was all I could do to keep him in bed.  First he forgot his tractor that he cannot go to sleep without.  Then he forgot his milk.  Then he wanted to say good night to Daddy.  Each time I protested, we discussed and he only won once.

As Travis was leaving the room, I asked if he would be so kind as to make some p-o-p-c-o-r-n.  I asked figuring he would wait more than .4 seconds to start, in order to give me a little time to soothe the wildebeest I was trying to keep in bed.  I figured wrong.

As the popcorn started popping, Alex asked me what that noise was.  I responded like any responsible parent responding to their child's inquisitive mind:  I don't know...Daddy's doing something.  Shockingly, he was fine with that answer.  And then the aroma hit his little nose.  His head snapped around and he looked at me shocked and asked what that smell was.  Again, I didn't know.  But he knew this time.  "I fink it's PAH - corn."  Again trying to quell this questioning, I said I didn't know.  Well, then we should ask Dad.  Since I had told him if he got out of bed again, I was taking his tractor away, he laid perfectly flat and yelled, "DAD ARE YOU MAKING PAH - CORN?!"  No answer.  "DAD!!!!  ARE. YOU. MAKING. PAH. CORN?"  When he heard that yes, indeed Travis was making popcorn, his eyes lit up!  "I want some!"

I really didn't feel like engaging in this dog fight, so I asked Travis to bring a small bowl.  After he had it for 3 seconds, he informed me he had to get up and give it to Daddy, because, "I fink he's hungry."  That is very sweet kiddo, but you best keep your little butt in bed.  Nice try though.  Good.  Night.

Thursday, December 27, 2012


I was all set to write a big ol' post about Christmas and smashing into a tree whilst sledding, but people are making me work today.  How dare they?!?

This is a pretty good summary of Alex's feelings about Christmas:

I think he liked it.

Friday, December 21, 2012

I'm pretty sure only my dog is a big enough ass hat to run away in the middle of a blizzard.  Whatever.  Alex and Travis found her.  And I suppose I should thank her since their little dog hunt was the only time one or the other of them wasn't throwing snowballs at me while I was shoveling.


Anyone sick of hearing about the snow yet?  Too bad!  It started snowing around 9 on Wednesday night and kept on a-goin' until about 8:30 last night.  Grand total of 15.2".  The .2 that the news reports reminds me of little kids (and me) saying they are 3&3/4, but every little bit counts I suppose.

Anywho, Alex is lovin' the snow.  He came out and "helped" us shovel a couple times.  The second time he pretty much just threw snowballs at me until he got cold and wanted to go in.  The first time he lasted a bit longer.  His job was to carry the poker thingy that you use to unclog the snow chute on the snow.blower.  So basically he just followed Travis around.  Travis using the snow blower and Alex poking holes in the snow with the unclogger wand thingy until he had to reluctantly give it up momentarily so Travis could use it.

Once he was bored with that game he came to terrorize me.  I was shoveling the sidewalk inside the fence and he instantly transformed into a mini foreman and started instructing me where to shovel the snow.  It took me a sec to get what he was trying to get me to do, but shortly after I figured it out, he had his own little snow hill to slide down on his butt.  Not only was I instructed to shovel the snow from the sidewalk onto this hill, but I was also expected to go around the backyard scooping snow and bringing it back over to make the hill bigger.  With every shovelful I threw on top, I'd hear the same command..."Bigger."

I'm pretty sure that's the definition of a mother's love.  Shoveling snow from the yard that by no means needed to see a shovel into a four foot hill for your son to climb up and slide down.  Yep.  That's love.  My arms and back are angrily reminding me how much love I showed my son yesterday.  But, I'll tell ya.  Even if he had just slid down it once, it would have been worth it just to see him beam like that because of something I built for him.

It didn't hurt that I got an ovation from the neighbor upon snow hill completion either.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Monday, Tuesday, December

Alex is learning the days of the week and the months of the year at school.  But he hasn't quite figured it out.  So the other day when he asked me what day it was and I told him it was Thursday, he informed me, "No, Mom, it's December."

So not only was he asking me something in a blatant attempt to prove how smart he is, he was wrong.  AND he would not listen to any amount of explanation to get him to the correct answer.  I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize in advance to any and every teacher this child has.

Smart Teeth

So, I'm doing it.  I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed.  I haven't scheduled it yet, but I have filled out all the paperwork and had all the X-rays.  Only two of the three are being evicted...but that still means I am having two giant teeth pulled out of my head.  Gross.

I went yesterday to get the last X-ray I needed.  There was a mishap with the scheduling of my appointment so I ended up sitting in the waiting room for just shy of a half hour with three other patients.  Three other patients and their mothers, because the other patients were all teenagers because that is when normal people get their wisdom teeth removed.

So, I got to sit there staring at three fresh faced teenagers feeling like an old lady late bloomer.  This is just turning out to be a super fun experience!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Two things

1.  Window clings don't stick to cold windows very well.  Good times.

2.  It's apparently a crap shoot when you buy unknown book titles from Scholastic.  And sometimes you lose.  Yesterday's book is currently in the recycling.  I had kinda skimmed through the books when I wrapped them, but this one didn't raise any flags.  Most likely because I didn't read to the end.

The book is Never Ever Shout in a Zoo.  Solid advice right?  'Cause, as the book points out, if you shout at the zoo,  you may frighten the animals.  But then it goes on to tell you that if they are frightened, they will be able to bust out of their cages, go on an all animal inclusive rampage, and finish the day by locking you and your family in a cage...where you'll want to shout for help...but we all know what happens then.

Ummm...was this thing written by some weird ass coalition against zoos?  I'm all for kids being respectful of animals that we have decided to cage up for our own amusement, but do we have to scare the ever loving crap out of kids to teach that?

Based on reviews of the book, I'm the only one that feels this way.  Whatever.  I'm cool with being a loner on this one.  Aaaand, throwing it and picking a new one puts my book countdown one day closer to actual Christmas!  Ha!


Travis had to clean out his car on Saturday and I was out being a good little elf, so he let Alex putz around in the car while he cleaned.  Alex made out great on the deal.  Travis always has a ton of loose change in his car.  And when Alex is putzing around in there, he usually comes back in the house with a pocket full of money.  Since Trav's new car doesn't have a tape deck, all of the pirated booty made the journey out of the car.

I was home when they were going through his treasurers from the car.  They had everything laid out on the coffee table and were separating coins from paper clips from gum wrappers.  After everything was sorted, I overheard this:

Travis:  Should we get your piggy bank from your room and put this money in it?
Alex:  Yep!  So I can buy KitKats!

Step 1 to successful money management:  Set reasonable goals.  Done and done.

Friday, December 14, 2012


I get all happy and excited when Alex tells me he loves me.  And rightfully so, right?  But I gotta admit, he loves everything lately.  I would be lying if I said it didn't sting a little last night when he proclaimed three different times that he loves pot pie...with way more enthusiasm than his stock, "I love ya, Mom."

Thursday, December 13, 2012


Who's got a plan to become independently wealthy that they are willing to share with me?  Because this working thing is for the birds.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


We opened a new book last night before bed like we have been doing each night of December.  I numbered the books so we could use them as a countdown.  And I make Alex tell me what number is on the book.  Last night, Travis happened to be in the living room for this little ritual.  

Alex picked up the book, I asked him what numbers were on it, he responded, "a 1 and a 6."  To which I agreed, let him know when they are written together like that it's a 16, and proceeded to say, "So there are 16 more days until Christmas."  I thought nothing of it since I was confident in my ability to number books from 25 to 1.  Travis looked at me funny and inquired, "...but...isn't today the 11th?"  Yes, yes it is.  

I don't know where I went wrong.  I don't know if I labeled the books incorrectly or if I have forgotten to have him open a book two different nights over the past 11.  Either way, apparently I am planning on having Christmas on the 27th this year.  You can all change your plans accordingly.

Monday, December 10, 2012


Remember when I let Alex stick a bunch of stickers on the window in the car?  Yeah, I finally got around to unsticking those stickers.  Not nearly as fun as it sounds.  I ordered some window clings for him to use instead.
Alphabet Window Clings

Emoticons Window Clings; 12 x 17; no. EU-836033

Using these two pictures on Amazon as my guide when ordering, I figured the faces would obviously be a smidge bigger than the letters, but still a manageable normal size.  I'm not sure if my eyeball gaugers are off, or if that picture is misleading, but those faces are huuuuuuge.

Exhibit A:

Yeah....that's a legal pad next to it for size reference.  These are some big ol' smileys!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Jolly Ol' St. Nick

If the level of excitement brought on by getting presents in his stocking from St. Nick is any sort of indicator to how excited he is going to be about bigger presents from Santa, we are in for a very dramatic Christmas morning.

Every single item was taken out of his stocking with a gasp, followed by careful inspection and then shock at how cool it was that St. Nick got him stuff he likes.

"AhhhhhhhhHHHHH!  A monster truck?!  M&N's??  KitKat?? MORE M&N'S?!?!?"

Raisin' Him Right

This morning, I dressed Alex in this shirt:
And then we listened to The White Stripes on the way to day care.

I might be accidentally creating a little hipster...or the coolest kid this side of the Mississippi.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012


What chu want for Christmas?

Monday, December 3, 2012

Making impressions

Alex and I went to the park near our house for a while on Sunday.  When we got there, there were three other kids.  All very nice.  And then, a bad one showed up.  He lives right near the park, he's six, and I do not like him.  He's the type of kid that makes fun of a three year old because he can't traverse the monkey bars without help.  The fact that it was my three year old definitely didn't help matters.

Alex, the bad one, and a different little boy were playing on the merry-go-round.  Alex was sitting in the middle and the two older ones were pushing.  But then of course the bad one had to prove he was stronger than the other kid, so he started pushing the opposite direction.  Since this left Alex sitting motionless in the middle of the merry-go-round, he climbed off to join the fight, to which I quickly said no.  I told him if all three boys wanted to work together and push, that's fine, but I didn't want him engaging in this weird muscle-off.  With that, the bad one flopped on the ground and rolled around a bit while proclaiming, "I hate my life." You're 6.  Don't stress.  It'll get worse.

Any way, these boys were also spouting off about how old they were.  The good one was 5&1/4, the bad one 6&3/4.  The mom of the good one asked me how old Alex is.  And did I reply with a simple 3?  No, I blurted out, "He'll be 4 in June."  I quickly realize how ridiculous that was since it's only, you know, DECEMBER, so I tried to backtrack by saying, "So, he's 3&1/2...since we' going by fractions."

No, Jackie, we aren't going by fractions.  The children are.  Pretty sure I impressed her and we will be life long best friends.

Ho Ho No

Friday evening, Alex's day care had a Christmas party for the families.  They made dinner for all of us, had a couple different craft tables set up, and Santa came.  They had Santa in a room with a camera set up to get pictures of the kids sitting on his lap.  Travis took Alex and his little friend in to see Santa.  His friend was all about it.  She climbed right up, talked to Santa and gave a super cute pose for the camera.  My kid?  Wasn't having any of it.  No way, no how was that kid sitting on Santa's lap.

So we went to the crafts. First up:  decorating cookies.  Or, as it ended up, mom smearing frosting on a couple cookies and cramming them in her mouth while running after Alex and whatever car he was zooming. Then we went to the table where you could make reindeer food.  There was a big tub of oats and a big tub of brown sugar and a shaker of edible glitter.  The instructions informed us that reindeer love oats and sugar, and the glitter was in there so when you put the food out in the yard for the reindeer, the glitter would sparkle in the moon light so the reindeer could see where to go.  Alex was all about that.  He whipped up a bag of reindeer food and took off like greased lightning.

He ran straight to Santa, ignored the fact that there was a child currently sitting on his lap and talking to him, thrust the bag in Santa's face and yelled, "I MADE FOOD FOR YOUR REINDEER!"  Apparently he just needed something to offer Santa to rid him of any Santa reservations.

A bit later, one of the teachers asked him if he sat on Santa's lap.  When he said no, she asked him how Santa was supposed to know what to bring him if he didn't go tell him.  He looked at her plain as day and said, "You can tell him, Kathy."