Tuesday, March 29, 2016


Sam got a fever at day care yesterday, so now he's home with me.  And guess what?!  No more fever.  Which is good.  Buuuuuuuut, it means that he doesn't feel sick so he is very energetic.  Super conducive to me getting work done, no?

He is also borderline addicted to any and all fruit snacks; including his brother's Fruit By The Foot.  I make him sit in his chair and I break it up into pieces for him instead of how Alex eats it...spinning in circles in the kitchen while gathering it in his mouth using only his lips and tongue.  It's a sight to behold.  But back to Sam.  He likes to push his little fingers on the pieces I put in front of him thereby all but adhering them to the table, and then he gets super mad at me because he can't get them off the table and into his mouth.  It's fun for everyone.

But, what you see here is a boy that thinks he's funny after smushing a couple pieces to the table.
And yes, that is also a boy badly in need of a haircut.  Zip it.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

We're Losin' It!

I think this toy is joining all of us in going absolutely bonkers on day two of being home all day but not being able to play outside because it's so gross out there.

And yes I am so sorry for recording in portrait mode.  Deal with it.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Spring Break

It is spring break for Alex this week.  We aren't going anywhere fun, so it's just him and me...all week...while I still have to work.  Good times.

Yesterday was alright excepting one episode that almost ended with me putting the dog collar on him.  I said almost; I didn't actually do it!  I'm making impressive strides in the parenting arena.

As always, one of my biggest challenges is getting this kid to wear clothes.  More specifically underwear.  Today proved to be no different.  The neighbor kids were getting ready to play outside, and since a giant Angry Birds blanket with nothing else is not appropriate outdoor attire, I told Alex to get dressed so he could play too.  He came back down from his room sporting only athletic pants.  Athletic pants that were on backwards.  And we had our usual conversation about them being on backwards.  It was at the point of that conversation where he looked for the tag that he also revealed he was not wearing underwear.  He of course giggled and ran away.  I yelled after him to turn his pants around and put on underwear.

He pretended to run upstairs, but then just kept running through the kitchen, laughing manically, and pausing only to pull down his pants to flash me.  As Lora succinctly said...."soooo normal spring break activities; just without the alcohol."

Without the alcohol for him at least...it's after noon here and I am an adult thankyouverymuch.

Monday, March 21, 2016


We had to stop for gas yesterday, and the gas station closest to our house shares a parking lot with an Arby's.  Not sure if you know this, but Arby's has really good chocolate shakes.  Ya know who does know that?  Alex.  And he asks for them on the regular.  So, when I pulled into the gas station, the peppering of Arby's requests started immediately.  He was dead set on either onion rings or a chocolate shake.

Now, knowing he loves the shake, I didn't bother with a conversation about that, but I was surprised when onion rings were on the list, so I asked him if he really wanted them.  And he assured me that he likes them a whole lot because didn't I remember when my friend came over and brought Arby's with her and let him try it all and he liked the onion rings?  I do in fact remember that day, and I also distinctly remember Alex not liking anything other than the damn shake.  But who am I to question his steel trap memory.

I finally gave in and said we could get something.  And then the flip-flopping began.  He wants a shake!  No!  Onion rings.  Wait, no!  A shake.  Ummmmm, actually onion rings!  No, a shake.  He finally landed on a shake, and as I was pulling into the drive thru, he changed his mind one last time because he remembered the shake would be really cold and he was already cold because he refused to put on a weather appropriate shirt, nevermind a jacket.  Good good.  Onion rings it is.

So we go through, order the ridiculously expensive onion rings, and wait for them to be made to order.  Since they are made to order, when the lovely Arby's employee handed them to me, they were the temperature of the sun.  So I told him he would have to wait for a bit.  After a while, I gave him one, but told him to bite into it carefully because onion rings tend to hold their heat.  I heard a crunch and then he informed me not only was the ring not cooled off enough, he also didn't like it.  I said I was sorry it wasn't cooled off and asked if he was sure he didn't like it since he was so adament about getting onion rings.

"Yeah.  No, I don't.  I forgot there were onions in them."

Friday, March 18, 2016

Jack Hanna In The Making

Yesterday afternoon, Alex and one of the neighbor kids spent a good 40 minutes digging up worms in our garden and gently placing them on the scoop of Alex's snow shovel.  I watched this going on, and finally my curiosity got the best of me when I saw them working as a team to get the shovel up on top of the fort portion of the swing set.  It was then that I was informed they were collecting worms to feed the birds.  They quickly realized the shovel was not going to stay put on top of the fort and settled for a spot in the backyard to leave the shovelwormbirdfeeder.  On the grass.  Live worms.  Not contained.  Sure, the worms will totally stay there and wait to be eaten.

When Alex got off the bus today, he took off for the backyard instead of coming in through the front door.  I went to the patio door to unlock it so he could come in that way, and asked him what he wadoing.  He looked up, raised both hands in triumph, and shouted, "THEY ATE THE WORMS!"

And no, I did not mention that I'm quite certain the worms just slithered away.  I'm not a complete monster.

This.  All day long, this.

Got him!

It has been confirmed, Alex is the Outbreak monkey.  Aiden is off the hook...for this at least.  We will get some antibiotics in Mr. Alex and supposedly this cycle will be done.  I have some lingering questions for the doc, most importantly:  Is this going to happen every time he is exposed?  Because if so, I may actually consider home schooling.

Proving that he is worth keeping around even though he's a little germ bucket, he layed the following on me last night...

Me:  Hey buddy?  Thanks for being such a great big brother to Sam.  I think you're a pretty great kid.
Alex:  You're welcome Mom.  I think you're a pretty great grown-up.
Me:  Thanks buddy.
Alex:  I mean it, I wouldn't be able to survive if I didn't have you.  'Night Mom!

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Here We Go Again

Strep.  Again.  That makes it three times since the end of December.  I have never had strep in my life ,and now three times in three months.  This is some malarky.  The doc thinks one of the smelly boys I live with is a carrier and keeps infecting me.  So, yesterday Travis and the boys had to go get swabbed for throat cultures to see which one of them is an Outbreak monkey.  Then we put that one on antibiotics while I am on antibiotics and supposedly that will break the cycle.

He also mentioned that dogs can carry strep.  Wouldn't that just be about right?  The super mutt that seems to live to annoy me would be the one to continually give me this horrendous sickness.  It's totally her...I just know it.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

School Daze

Homework for 1st graders is ridiculous.

And if anyone has some advice on where to find the patience to get a kid to do their homework, I'll take it.  It's gonna be a long scholastic journey for Mr. Alex and me.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016


I am beyond ready for winter to be over...Buuuuuuut he's so cute in his winter gear, I'll suck it up for a bit longer without complaining...too much.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Not the Crafty Type

What you see here are some Wockets colored by a 6 year old boy that has zero fucks to give about coloring:

More Regrets

I have noticed a downside to Alex watching MythBusters and Dirty Jobs.  These are shows hosted by adults, with a target audience comprised of mostly adults...or at least the over 6 age group.  The problem with this is that the language used is not exactly child friendly.  They beep out any really bad words, but there is a fair amount of mildly offensive, definitely not phrases for a 6 year old throughout the episodes.

This was brought to light the other night at bedtime.  Alex tossed a book on his bed and it bounced off the mattress onto the floor.  He responded to that with a hearty, "Oh for God's sake!"  I immediately stopped him in his tracks with an "Excuse me?!?"  He froze, seemingly surprised at the words that just exploded from his mouth, looked at me out of the side of his wide eyes, paused, and then said, "I regret that.  I regret saying that."

How anyone is expected to keep a straight face in that situation is beyond me.