Thursday, September 21, 2017

Please excuse the blurriness...but doesn't it look like my dog was put together incorrectly?

Oh the Arguing and The Irony

Alex's bike finally gave up on us, and we had to replace it.  We were really trying to make it last this season, but it had different ideas, so a new (to us) bike was in order.  I found a nice used one, and he absolutely loves it and now is dying to ride his bike to school.  Sure thing, just find your bike lock and we're good to go.  Uh huh.

That was when he told us he has it, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut he doesn't remember the combination to get it unlocked.  I reminded him that we set it together and I remember it, so it's ok.  Yes, it would be ok if he hadn't changed it after we set it.  So now we have a bike lock with some random 4 digit number that will unlock it, and nobody knows what that number is.

So yesterday morning was full of Alex saying, "Oh!  I know what it is!  It's _ _ _ _," and then me trying whatever string of numbers he rattled off only to have the lock remain, well, locked.  After the fifth or sixth go 'round with that, Alex gave up and said, "Well, can't we just go buy a new one?"  Yeah, not a good time to flippantly bring up the fact that you think we should just go buy a new bike lock because your little 8 year old self decided to change the combination your mother set for you.  But, I was not the one to lose my cool over this.  Travis took the reigns.  Poor Alex.

Travis went on a bit of a lecture about how irresponsible it was for Alex to change the combination and then forget it.  And that we weren't about to go run out and spend another $20 to replace the lock so he could have the privilege of riding his new bike to school.  And that Alex needs to spend some time trying to figure out what he might have set the combination as instead of just giving up.  And that Alex's cousin worked in a cheese factory this summer for $10 an hour and it would take him 2 hours to earn enough money to buy new bike lock.  And clearly Alex doesn't understand the worth of money.

During this whole lecture, I managed to bite my tongue and not remind Travis that his bike lock?  Yeah, that sucker has been locked to Travis's bike for the last three years because he lost the key.  I held my tongue until Travis took a break from talking to Alex, and came down to my desk all frustrated with "how irresponsible Alex is" with his things and how glib Alex is about money.  That was when I said that I was frustrated as well, but just keep in mind you too have a useless bike lock.  It happens.  You're 39 years old.  He's 8.  But apparently that is different because Travis lost the key to his lock when we were moving.  Oh, ok.

Travis then decided he was going to try every single number from 0000 to 9999 until he found the number that unlocked the lock.  He also decided he was unequivocally pissed that Alex wasn't willing to an active participant in that endeavor.  After a lot of arguing and pouting, Travis said, "You do realize if I sit here and take the time and find the combination, you're gonna owe me $20, right?"  Now.  A lot of kids would have realized this was a rhetorical question.  A lot of kids would have quickly understood this was NOT a good time to get the last word in.  A lot of kids would have sat there pouting across from their irritated father, but they would have sat there silently.  Welp, Alex is not a lot of kids.  Instead of any of those options, he snarkily replied, "Well, do you have change for thirty?"

I don't know if Travis was angrier at the stupidity of that question or the backtalk, but I do know it was a good thing Alex promptly removed himself from the room.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Sleepy --> Spaz

Sam took a 3+ hour nap on Sunday.  He usually sleeps for a couple hours, but 3+ hours was a bit out of the ordinary.  Travis and I chalked it up to him not taking a long nap on Saturday and left it at that.  And then Sunday night rolled around.  And Sam went BONKERS.  Silly bonkers, but still bonkers.  But he threw in a pinch of being a complete asshole to Alex just for fun.  It took forever to get him to bed and I had to get up multiple times from reading with Alex to tend to some ridiculous request from Sam.

I came back to Alex's room to resume reading after one such request and I told Alex I was sorry Sam was being so out of control and reminded Alex that I talked to Sam about being a good brother and all that.  Alex kinda hrrrmph'd and said, "Yeah, that three hour nap really paid off....NOT."

True that, Alex.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Post soccer game feet...


Travis has had new springs for his car sitting in boxes in the basement for going on two years now.  Saturday was finally the day.  And Alex was ready!  It took them a little over 2 hours, but the car now has new shocks and Alex now has a bit more knowledge.

Friday, September 15, 2017


So I just got back from a mad dash to Alex's school because I absolutely do not have my shit together.  I got the order in for the Scholastic Book Club that was due today.  I got Alex's hair cut for his school picture today.  I filled out the form he has to give to the photographer.  I wrote the check for the only picture package that wasn't outrageously expensive and didn't include 43,983 wallet size pictures.  Seriously.  Who in the world needs that many wallet size photos?  Honestly.  Anyway, I had all that shit done.  I put Alex in a decent, clean shirt this morning and made him show me his picture smile.  No teeth were shown.  I sent him to school and came back to my desk to work.

I was being a good little worker bee and eventually moved a very important piece of paper.  Why was it so important?  Because it was COVERING UP THE PICTURE ORDER FORM ENVELOPE.  Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.  I was so close!  I had everything done!  But then I had to go and muck it all up.

So, I grabbed the envelope and got my ass to the school to see if I missed it.  Hurrah!  His class doesn't go until 12:30.  I thanked the school secretary and headed on home.  THAT was when I assessed my appearance.  This.  This is what I went to my son's school looking like:
Let's just go over what you can see in this picutre.  Lumpy, hastily installed pony tail?  Check.  Frizzy "wings" of hair over each ear?  Check.  Funny but probably not the type of shirt appreciated at an elementary school?   Chaaaa-eck!

And for the things you can't see in the picture, but the secretary was graced with?  No mascara on one eye, but the distinct print of eyelashes above my eye from having wet eyelashes with yesterday's mascara on them when I held my eye open to put my contacts in?  Yep.  Smudges of yesterday's mascara on the other eye?  Absofuckinglutely.  Leg hair that is long enough to glimmer in the ever forgiving flourescent lights of an elementary school?  Oh you bet your sweet bippy.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Earth First

While cleaning the basement last time, I found a bunch of old paint from the previous owner.  Given I dislike every single color they painted in here, and the paint cans looked like they were from when the house was built, they had to go.  So, being a good little tree hugger, I set the cans outside on the driveway to dry out the paint before throwing them away.  I talked to Alex and his neighbor buddies extensively about what I was doing and that they were not to touch the cans.  I covered them at night so as to not let the dew add moisture that would just extend the process.  Since I didn't get on my horse and do this a couple of months ago when it was hot, it is taking some time, but we're getting there.

Sam announced he had to go potty and that the front yard was going to be the place.  I thought nothing of it until he yelled for me and I realized he was not in the front yard, but in front of the garage.  I replied by asking what he needed as I was rushing outside only to hear him say, "I didn't do anything to the paint."

Yeeeeeeeeah, I'm gonna have to go ahead and call your bluff there little man.  This is a day and a half after a half of a roll of paper towel was used to clean up the paint puddle on the driveway.

Friday, September 8, 2017


Alex:  May I have some cereal?
Me:  Sure.
Alex:  Can you get me a bowl?
Me:  No.  You're 8.  Get a chair and get it yourself please.
Alex:  ~eating cereal and clanking his spoon over and over and over and over~
Me:  ~seething, but not saying anything until I hear the bag crinkle~ Be done after your second helping.
Alex:  This is my first!
Me:  Then WHAT have you been doing with your spoon?
Alex:  Huh?
Me:  If this is your first helping, what have you been doing with your spoon clanking against the bowl this whole time?!
Alex:  What do you mean?  This is my second helping!

That's The Point

Me:  Sam, close your eyes and go to sleep.
Sam:  I can't.  When I close my eyes, I can't see.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Say Ahhh!

Sam went to the dentist for the first time yesterday.  He was so excited and did so well.  He could barely wait until Alex was done and every time the hygenist would finish something with Alex he would ask if it was his turn.

He's ready!
He thought sunglasses for the bright light would be cool, but then decided to go without.

And isn't every dentist appointment only complete when you get a toy narwhal to bring home?

Don't Worry About It

As we are all aware, Aiden is gettin' up there in years.  The past couple of days have been a little rough for her, but she is still ready to play around in the yard at the drop of a hat.  Two nights ago I was sitting on the couch with her and lovingly called her an Old Bag.  And then I looked down at the giant ice pack I had on one wrist while resting the other wrist on top, and also spied the frozen water bottle upon which I was rolling both of my feet.

Don't worry...she was sure to give me a solid "Who's the Old Bag now, bitch?" look.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Clean Up! Clean Up! Everybody, Everywhere!

Shortly after I was presented with the aforementioned card, Alex told me he was going to clean the table.  Iiiiiiinnnnnntttteerrresting.  Yeah, that would be because he "got distracted" while he was making that card.  And apparently that distraction lead him to writing a 12 digit number on the table....with a SHARPIE.

FYI:  toothpaste takes Sharpie off of wood tables.  You can thank Alex for that knowledge.

True Love

Alex yelled to me from upstairs, "Hey Mom?  I wanna make you a card, but I can't remember how to spell your name."

This is what was presented to me shortly after spelling my name for him:
For those of us not fluent in almost 3rd grader that hasn't been in school for three months writing, it actually reads:
I love you 
Knock Knock
Who's there
Your underwear

This child needs to go back to school me thinks.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Ick. Nast.

Wanna know a pretty good indicator that you are a family of pig people?  I will tell you.  It's when you realize it would just be easier and more efficient to lug the kitchen table and chairs out to the back deck than try to clean them in the kitchen.

Each time I started on a chair, I thought to myself, "Holy man this one has to be Sam's."  Nope.  They were all that gross.  And?  Multiple times I thought a spot was a mar in the wood.  Nope.  Just grossness that wiped off with my sponge.

We are gross.

Self Starter

While I was working this morning, I could hear Alex up in the kitchen/dining room talking to himself for a solid 15 minutes.  He came bounding downstairs to ask at what temperature we cook croutons.  Uhhhhhh, 350, but I'll be right up.  On the way up the stairs he let me know he has everything prepped for cheesy croutons, but just didn't know what temp to cook them.

I came into the kitchen to find a cookie sheet with a bunch of little bread squares stuffed with tiny pieces of cheddar cheese.  Sure enough.  He had been prepping everything for cheesy croutons.  We brushed them with some melted butter and popped them in the oven.

While we were waiting for them to cook and were cleaning up, I found a ZipLock bag with a paper plate in it.  After wondering aloud what the heck that was from, I asked Alex to through it away.  "No!  That's mine!  I'm growing a tomato plant."  Ok.  I'll bite.  'Splain that please.  "Yeah, so I saw on Curious George that they soak a paper plate and then put a bean plant seed on it and put it in a bag so it will sprout.  I was eating a tomato and it squished seeds all over me, so I cleaned them up and thought, 'Hey, I could do that with a tomato seed and grow a plant.'  So I'm gonna do that."

And now he's eating a salad with his cheesy croutons that he is sure he could get all of our neighbors to buy at $0.10 each crouton.

Pack It Up; We're Done Here

Welp, I'm pretty sure I have lost all control.

While he was dressed in a full-on MineCraft jumpsuit pajama situation, Alex was completely ignoring my instructions to stop tickling/wrestling/pinching me and he said something that had absolutely no bearing on the situation.  When I said, "That doesn't even make sense!" he came back with, "I make dollahs; not cents yo!"

Lost. All. Control.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Huge Step

As I previously mentioned, Alex racked up quite a bill buying video game coins.  Yeah.  That's been fun topic around here for the past week and a half.  Long story short, he is now earning 324 points doing things around the house before he can play his Xbox again.

Last school year, he wanted to ride his bike to school, but there is a stretch of road on the journey that doesn't have a bike path or sidewalk, and there is a ton of traffic.  Because of that, I would drive him to where the bike path started and let him ride from there and then pick him up there after school.  Not ideal.  While I was out on a run the other day, I found a different way to the bike path that has sidewalk the whole way.  So, I've been asking Alex to ride his bike with me when I go running so I can show him the route, and in turn he will be able to ride his bike to school if he wants.  He has been resistant, but today he came with me.

He stuck with me on the way there since he didn't know where we were going, but once we turned around at his school, he gave me a "see ya at home!" over his shoulder and took off.  I got a little concerned when I crested a hill that I was sure I was going to be able to see him from and he was no where in sight.  My worries were quelled once I turned onto our street and saw our garage door open.

I came in the house to him telling me he smoked me getting home.  Yeah dude, that'll happen when you're ON WHEELS.  Anyway, I thanked him for coming with me and asked what he thought about the path I found.  He said it was cool and then said...wait for it...are you sitting down?  Good.  He said, "And Mom?  I've been noticing that since I haven't been playing the Xbox...I feel like I have a ton more energy and it's really cool."

Slightly Out of Control

Both my boys love love love baths, showers, swimming, anything with water really.  Bath time with Sam can get a little tricky.  His love of water usually gets him a bit squirrely, and if you don't settle him right away, it escalates real quick like.

At least it was soapy water he was splashing on the floor.  Bathroom floor?  Clean.

Stay Little

For as long as I have been snuggling (read:  falling asleep with) Alex every night, my main defense of this spoiling behavior is that he won't want me to snuggle him forever, so I'm gonna do it while he's still ok with it.  Yeah, well, I've been using that as a defense, but I was clearly not ready for it when he was ready to be old.

Last night, Travis was brewing beer with his buddy, which usually includes a fair amount of consuming beer as well.  So on brew nights, he usually just crashes on the couch there.  And any time Travis isn't home at night, Alex wants to sleep in our bed with me.  So last night when he was brushing his teeth, I told him he could sleep with me.  He happily trotted into my room.  But then he stopped and said, "Actually, that's ok.  I'll just sleep in my own room.  And Mom?  You don't have to snuggle me tonight."  I felt a sting shoot through my heart, and immediately thought to myself, "Fix your face!  Fix your face!"

This is pretty good summation of my reaction:
Image result for oh ok meme

And then?  He really drove the dagger in to the hilt with, " don't need to snuggle me tomorrow night either.  Good night Mom!"

So I gathered my barfed up heart off the floor, and went in to his room to say goodnight and close his blinds.  That is when he explained that he didn't want me to snuggle him because he "needed to get used to this for college."

Monday, August 14, 2017


Alex yelling to me from the kitchen:  Mom!  It's 11:11!!
Me:  Ah!  Make a wish!
Alex:  I wish that....that nobody gets mad at me for eating all the chocolate of the eclair.

Well played sir, well played.

Thursday, August 10, 2017


Travis helped out a friend with a leaky hose bib the last two evenings.  The boys and I were at my parents' yesterday, and Alex grabbed my phone when we were leaving.  He got a very serious expression which quickly turned to anger and said, "Mom.  Jeffrey sent you a text.  ...  It's about dad.  ...  And it is NOT nice."  I was completely confused because Jeffrey is one of our best friends and would never utter a bad word about Travis.  And then I looked at the text and burst out laughing.

"Trav is the shit!"

Monday, August 7, 2017

Deep Breaths Ain't Cuttin' It

Alex and I are really struggling lately.  I know it's a mix of the long summer, him trying to figure out how to be not a little kid but not yet grown, and me having high expectations (and little patience) for his behavior.  I know this.  But ho-ly shit.  We might actually box one of these days.

Yesterday, we "started over" three times.  Basically when we are having a rough morning, we stop, talk it out, and agree to start the day over with our earlier disagreements in the past.  That had to happen three freking times yesterday.  One would think after that many restarts we would be good to go.  Turns out, not so much.

He, Sam, and a neighbor kid were playing in the sandbox before dinner.  And while I was chopping some stuff, the neighbor kid's mom was in the kitchen with me.  But she had a good view outside, and at one point said, "Soooo, not trying to tattle on Alex or anything, but just so you're aware, he is putting handfuls of sand in Sam's underwear."  Because of course he is.  So, I went to the door, asked Alex if he would like it if someone put sand in his underwear (for those of us keeping track, he wouldn't like it), and told him to knock it off.  About 37 seconds later, neighbor mom said, "Ummmm....I mean...yeah...he's now putting handfuls of sand in Sam's hair."  So, I calmly put down my knife (POINTS FOR ME), walked outside to the sandbox, picked up a full bucket of sand, and silently dumped it on Alex's head (not so many points for me). Things devolved from there real quick like.

And all of this was before Travis realized Alex had racked up a bunch charges on his account in video game coins.  Sweet sassy molassey.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Fine...this is cute too

Seriously, he is so excited.

Two Peas in an Annoyed Pod

Sitting at my desk and Alex is in the playroom.

Me(singing):  Baby I been, I been losin' sleep!
Alex:  Really.  Have you really been losing sleep Mom?

He is too much like me.  It hurts sometimes.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

This Is It

Last night, Sam slept in a "big boy bed" for the first time.  Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!  He loved it.  He was so excited.  I am slightly heartbroken.  I mean, just look at how cute he was in his crib!

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Sunny Saturday

We hung out at my parents' house on Saturday and as usual, Gramma had her camera out and ready!

Friday, July 28, 2017

Lake Red Stone...We Love You.

We spent 5 days at Travis's brother's in-law's lake house this past week.  That place is glorious.  It is a place of fun, relaxation, quiet (when the boys are out futzing around and not wrestling their cousins in the house), and just goodness.  I love it there.  I was sad when I woke up on Thursday and was in my own bed.  I take the same picture every year, but seriously!  Look at this place!!

This year we ended up sleeping all four of us in one king size bed.  This arrangement was caused by Sam being too big for a pack n play and Alex refusing to share a queen size bed with any one of his cousins.  Why?  Because he really like snuggles from Sam and me.  Whatever.

On Sunday night, as I was crookedly spooning Sam with my head where my feet should be, I woke from my light slumber (see above mention of 4 whole humans sleeping in 1 bed) hearing a weird noise.  It took a hot second for me to realize it was Sam peeing.  Yep.  He was laying there, flat on his back, completely asleep, with his overnight diaper pulled down just far enough to get his business out, and was peeing straight into the air, not stirring one bit from his own pee fountain splashing down on and around him.

I jumped up and grabbed a towel to put under him in an effort to stop the pee from seeping through the mattress cover and into the 2" memory foam mattress topper because whhooo boy, I did NOT want to replace that sucker.  And still none of this woke him.  Then?  Then I took his precious Blank away.  You know, because it had PEE ALL OVER IT.  That did it.  That woke him up.  And sent him into a fit a wolverine would be impressed by. my irritation and exhaustion...I gave it back to him.   I handed my pee covered child a pee covered blanket I knew he was going to snuggle with and chew on, and I left the room and slept on the couch.

Other than that and the fact that it has rained so much, the entire lake was in emergency No Wake for all but 1 day we were there, we had a great time as usual.  On the way there, Alex made a list of the things he wanted to do as soon as we arrived:
1.  strash (read:  Stretch)
2.  fish
3.  wiat for Jason and The Platvill boys (read:  wait for Jason and  the Platteville boys)

He held true to his list.  After stretching, he took Sam and Travis right down to the pier while I unloaded the car, and they fished there until the boys showed up.
We had (slow) boat rides, swimming (some naked), jumping off giant rocks into the water, some yard work, boat naps, and campfires.  It was an awesome trip.

And?  Have I mentioned how much I love this view?

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Webster's Eat Your Heart Out

Another entry in the kiddos' dictionary of words I refuse to correct:  

Washing maclean:  def - appliance used to clean clothing/blankets/etc. Ex:  "We can put Blank in the washing maclean and he'll get aaaalllllll clean."

Monday, July 17, 2017

Makes Sense

Alex had some left over ribs for lunch.  He had some stuck in his teeth, so I sent him upstairs to use a flosser thingy.  After about 5 minutes he was at the top of  the steps telling me he almost puked.  Why you ask?  Because he had 4 flossers in his mouth at once and gagged himself.  And why did he have 4 flossers in his mouth at once?  "Because I was being a vampire."

He also delayed our errand running by asking to shower because he was "covered in meat."  To be fair...he was quite messy.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Goin' to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

Daycare took the kiddos on a field trip to the Henry Vilas Zoo today.  It's a free zoo and we didn't have anything goin' on, so Alex and I decided to join them.

So many closed lip Alex smiles.

"We're on the traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Ponce de León

I had some errands to run today, one of which was getting the dog's nails trimmed.  Yes, I realize this is a task I could do myself, but she hates it and I'm terrified of hurting her.  And, the pet store does a grinder thingy instead of just clipping them so her nails don't end up so sharp.

Alex had the seats arranged so Aiden would sit with him in the third row seating in the truck, and for the first five minutes of the drive, I could hear him telling her he loved her every minute or so.  And then he said, "Mom?  Wouldn't it be cool if we could find some water that Aiden could take a bath in that would keep her young forever?  Then I could see how fast she used to be and we could just keep her and not ever get a different dog."  Yes buddy, that would be cool.

Will do

At drop off yesterday, Sam stopped me from leaving to run up to me, pat my stomach and say, "Ok Little Mama Baby, you go and be a good boy for daddy."  Uhhhhh, ok?

Jack Hannah He Ain't

I was mowing the lawn yesterday with our little push mower, and I turned a corner and saw something kinda flop out from under the mower.  Upon closer inspection, it was a frog.  Was.  Well, I mean it was still a frog, but a very much dead frog that no longer had all of its complete appendages.  I was super grossed out so I left it laying there upside down with its poor white little belly exposed while I finished mowing.

While I was grabbing the standing dust pan/rake combo we use to pick up dog poo, Alex asked what I was doing.  I told him what happened, and he obviously immediately expressed his desire to see it.  Well...I mean...that's morbid and nasty, but you do come from a family that includes an aunt that intentionally decomposed a toad in a box so she could have a toad skeleton, so let's go scoop us a mangled frog!

We got out there and Alex was appropriately sad, and then asked me to flip it over.  That's when I saw it was missing about half its skull.  As I was gagging, Alex leaned in and announced it was a male frog.  Oh really?  And pray tell, how did you figure that?  "Well, the male frog has a bigger brain than a female frog, so this is a male."  Uh huh.  And you just have a mental catalog of how big an average male and/or female frog brain is?  Ok, sure.

Covert Communication

Lately Alex has decided that an effective way to communicate with me without his brother knowing what he's talking about is to just say the first half of whatever word he wants to say.  So, if he wants to go to Culver's, he'll say, "Mom?  Can we go to...Cul?"  Or if he wants to watch a Wild Kratts..."Mom?  Can I ~head nod toward the TV~...a Wild?"  It's mostly effective but frankly annoying.  Just say what you wanna say!!  If it's something your brother is gonna spaz about, just wait until he's not in the room, or say it discreetly to me.

Anywho, Alex and I were at Costco the other day, and he reminded me multiple times that he really likes the muffins they sell.  And because it's Costco, you get a dozen muffins the size of a gorilla's fist for $7.  They are terrible for you I'm sure.  Especially his favorite flavor:  chocolate with chocolate chunks.  They are a dessert muffin.  But, I'm a sucker for this kid, so we bought some.

But now?  Now when he wants one?  "Hey Mom?  Can I eat a muff?"  It is everything I can do to not cringe and burst out laughing.  

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Laser Tag

As previously mentioned, we did a laser tag party for Alex's birthday.  That shit ain't cheap, so I told him if that was what he really wanted to do, he needed to understand that was the only thing we were getting him for his birthday.  That was his present from us.  What I didn't mention was that it would be rude to point that out to every single person attending said party.

As guests arrived, Alex was standing there and would say, "Hi!  Welcome to my party!  This is my present from my parents."  No pressure or weirdness there.

He is so flippin' cute though, so I'll let it slide.

Friday, June 30, 2017

We'll Get There

Not sure what's up with me, but I haven't been exactly motivated to do...well...pretty much anything lately.  And unfortunately that has seeped into wanting to write.  Lamesauce. It'll come back; it always does.

It was Alex's birthday yesterday.  He is now 8 years old.  He's creepin' on that age range of boys when I usually just do not like them very much, so that's gonna be interesting.  I don't know, there is just something about boys from about 8 or 9 until 12 or 13 that I could leave right on the curb.  They are awkwardly tying to figure themselves out and frankly, I'm pretty sure I'm still doing that so I kinda feel like y'all are stealin' my sweet vibe.  We shall see how this all plays out now that it's my boy.

He wanted to stay home from camp yesterday since it was his birthday so it was a special occasion and he really just wanted to be with me.  Uh. Huh.  Either he is the sweetest kid in the northern hemisphere, or he totally played me, but he got to stay home.  Before I gave in, I told him if he stayed home, hanging out with me would mean going to Costco, the grocery store, meeting up with my boss, and he would have to get a haircut.  "I'm good with that." he said with a smug little smile.  So then I dropped the bomb:  he could stay home, but there were to be zero video games.  There was a slight hesitation, but he still held firm to his claim of wanting to hang out with me.  So off we went.

He went from this shaggy little boy:

To this dashing young man:

Don't mind my forehead wrinkles in that second picture.  The other night Sam sat in my lap staring at my face and tracing my wrinkles with his little finger, saying, "What are this Mama?"  Wrinkles.  "This are wrinkles?"  Yes, now learn some better grammar.  But do that after you finish laser tag, because you are so flippin' cute in the gear I just cannot take it.
Also, don't drive angry.

Annnnnnywho, Happy Birthday Sweet Alex!

Friday, June 23, 2017

Meaning of Life

When my sisters and I were kids, we would shout a non-sensicle chant out the car windows every time we were leaving our grandparents' house.  It goes a little something like this:

High! Low!  Minney minney kai chai!  Ooom cha cha cha pee wah waaaahhhhh!

We never had, and still don't have, any clue what it means, but we loved to scream it while hanging our faces out the windows of the station wagon.  And now, our kids love screaming it at our parents every time we leave their house.

Alex was just sitting at the kitchen table working on a perler race car, and out of nowhere he said, "Mom?  I think I know what 'high low minney minney kai chai' means....I'm pretty sure it means, 'We miss you and we love you.'"

That noise you heard was my heart exploding.



Dude Perfect is a YouTube channel that some guys have where they try ridiculous trick shots of any and every kind.  They clearly film the tries over and over and over and they are incredibly and extremely audibly excited when they finally hit the shot.  There is a lot of celebration to put it mildly.
It's amusing...for about 3 minutes.  It is not amusing when you are working and have an almost 8 year old (8?  When the HELL did that happen by the way?!) in the same room watching the videos back to back to back and getting as excited as these obviously incredibly intelligent gentlemen every time they actually complete whatever ridiculous trick they are attmepting.  Oh, and don't forget the hype music in the background.  Can't forget that.

It goes something like this:  "Hype music; attempt; attempt; louder hype music; attempt; 5 GROWN ASS MEN LOSING THEIR MINDS."

Good times.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Fathers' Day

I had one cooking breakfast and one doing the dishes.  Are we sure this wasn't Mothers' Day?
And then later they were all out gardening.

Great day for some baseball!

We were invited to the Brewers' game on Saturday.  We slathered up with some sunscreen and headed out to sweat our butts off.  Aside from a brand new $13 beer being knocked out of my hand by two of the children with our group, it was a good day.

 Even though it was a zillion degrees with the highest humidity possible, Blank had to come with.  And promptly needed to be washed upon arriving home.

Friday, June 16, 2017

It's Festival Season Y'all!

Our local festival is this weekend, so we took the boys last night for "wristband night."  You get unlimited rides for $15 instead of $2-3/ride.  Travis got slightly ill on the first ride.  Alex rode everything a zillon times.  Except the Zipper.  That thing is crazytown.

All of the rides for Sam are pretty much the same, just differnet vessels for the kids to sit in.  Only difference is that some go up and down while going around in circles.  Sam was quite partial to the dragons.  He rode it 4 times in a row, then went to the airplanes for two times, and then back to the dragons.  I thought he was gonna cut a little girl that got to the blue dragon before he did.  He threw in a couple times on the cars for good measure too.
The best part for me was the carnival workers weren't paying attention to the foliage when they set up the airplane ride.  So when the planes would go up, they would "fly' the kids right through a tree branch.  Sam would squeal each time and yell, "The leaves are ticklin' me Mama!"

Also, Alex doesn't like funnel cake.  Who's kid is that?