Someday

Someday I will not be dealing with urine and fecal matter on a daily basis.  Right?  RIGHT??!!

We are still trying to get Sam to wake up and go to the bathroom if he has to pee at night.  Travis (who has decided he is completely against Pull-Ups now) has been slacking on his routine of waking Sam up a couple hours after we put him down, so about 3 or 4 nights a week, Sam pees in his sleep and I end up having to wash his bedding.  It's not that big of a deal because it's only a mattress cover and a couple blankets as I am smart enough to not put sheets on until we are done with this, but still.  It's bedding laundry multiple times a week.  But this morning?  This morning pushed me over the edge.

I went in to wake Sam up and notice he was not on his bed.  He was on the floor with two blankets.  He woke up, I asked why he was sleeping on the floor, and he told me he fell off his bed.  Uh huh.  So I aksed if his undies were dry and he sleepily assured me they were.  He stood up to show me and that's when I was just about knocked over from the stench of urine wafting off my child.  We removed the completely pee covered undies, and I put him in the tub.  I headed back into his room to collect the soiled bedding and as I was picking the blankets up off the floor, I begged and pleaded with the pee gods that he had wrapped himself up enough as to not get pee on the carpet.  Welp, the pee gods are a bunch of jerks.  I will be lugging the carpet cleaner upstairs after I finish this.

But, I suppose having to clean the carpet in his room is just the push I needed to properly clean the hallway carpet.  Why do I have to do that you ask?  Did the dog decide to once again use that area as her personal bathroom?  Oh no...this would be another mess de Sam.  On Saturday evening, he told me he had to go potty.  Since he is completely able to pee by himself, I sent him upstairs.  A minute later he was calling for me from the top of the steps.  I went over to find him standing there naked from the waist down, singing to me that he couldn't get his underwear back on.  I sternly told him he needed to try and he plopped down on the floor.  He plopped his naked butt on the carpet.  His naked butt that had just done a lot more than pee.  His naked butt that had decidedly not seen any toilet paper after doing a lot more than peeing.  And then he hopped back up and plopped back down.  And up and down again.  With each plop down, he left a tiny bloop of poo on the carpet.  He was like a bingo dauber of poo.

And then the icing on the cake?  I was frustrated and said, "Why didn't you tell me you pooped?!?!?  I would have helped you!!!"  He looked at me with a straight face and without missing a beat said, "I didn't poop."