Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Clean Up! Clean Up! Everybody, Everywhere!

Shortly after I was presented with the aforementioned card, Alex told me he was going to clean the table.  Iiiiiiinnnnnntttteerrresting.  Yeah, that would be because he "got distracted" while he was making that card.  And apparently that distraction lead him to writing a 12 digit number on the table....with a SHARPIE.

FYI:  toothpaste takes Sharpie off of wood tables.  You can thank Alex for that knowledge.

True Love

Alex yelled to me from upstairs, "Hey Mom?  I wanna make you a card, but I can't remember how to spell your name."

This is what was presented to me shortly after spelling my name for him:
For those of us not fluent in almost 3rd grader that hasn't been in school for three months writing, it actually reads:
I love you 
Jackie
Knock Knock
Who's there
Your underwear
:)

This child needs to go back to school me thinks.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Ick. Nast.

Wanna know a pretty good indicator that you are a family of pig people?  I will tell you.  It's when you realize it would just be easier and more efficient to lug the kitchen table and chairs out to the back deck than try to clean them in the kitchen.

Each time I started on a chair, I thought to myself, "Holy man this one has to be Sam's."  Nope.  They were all that gross.  And?  Multiple times I thought a spot was a mar in the wood.  Nope.  Just grossness that wiped off with my sponge.

We are gross.

Self Starter

While I was working this morning, I could hear Alex up in the kitchen/dining room talking to himself for a solid 15 minutes.  He came bounding downstairs to ask at what temperature we cook croutons.  Uhhhhhh, 350, but I'll be right up.  On the way up the stairs he let me know he has everything prepped for cheesy croutons, but just didn't know what temp to cook them.

I came into the kitchen to find a cookie sheet with a bunch of little bread squares stuffed with tiny pieces of cheddar cheese.  Sure enough.  He had been prepping everything for cheesy croutons.  We brushed them with some melted butter and popped them in the oven.

While we were waiting for them to cook and were cleaning up, I found a ZipLock bag with a paper plate in it.  After wondering aloud what the heck that was from, I asked Alex to through it away.  "No!  That's mine!  I'm growing a tomato plant."  Ok.  I'll bite.  'Splain that please.  "Yeah, so I saw on Curious George that they soak a paper plate and then put a bean plant seed on it and put it in a bag so it will sprout.  I was eating a tomato and it squished seeds all over me, so I cleaned them up and thought, 'Hey, I could do that with a tomato seed and grow a plant.'  So I'm gonna do that."

And now he's eating a salad with his cheesy croutons that he is sure he could get all of our neighbors to buy at $0.10 each crouton.

Pack It Up; We're Done Here

Welp, I'm pretty sure I have lost all control.

While he was dressed in a full-on MineCraft jumpsuit pajama situation, Alex was completely ignoring my instructions to stop tickling/wrestling/pinching me and he said something that had absolutely no bearing on the situation.  When I said, "That doesn't even make sense!" he came back with, "I make dollahs; not cents yo!"

Lost. All. Control.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Huge Step

As I previously mentioned, Alex racked up quite a bill buying video game coins.  Yeah.  That's been fun topic around here for the past week and a half.  Long story short, he is now earning 324 points doing things around the house before he can play his Xbox again.

Last school year, he wanted to ride his bike to school, but there is a stretch of road on the journey that doesn't have a bike path or sidewalk, and there is a ton of traffic.  Because of that, I would drive him to where the bike path started and let him ride from there and then pick him up there after school.  Not ideal.  While I was out on a run the other day, I found a different way to the bike path that has sidewalk the whole way.  So, I've been asking Alex to ride his bike with me when I go running so I can show him the route, and in turn he will be able to ride his bike to school if he wants.  He has been resistant, but today he came with me.

He stuck with me on the way there since he didn't know where we were going, but once we turned around at his school, he gave me a "see ya at home!" over his shoulder and took off.  I got a little concerned when I crested a hill that I was sure I was going to be able to see him from and he was no where in sight.  My worries were quelled once I turned onto our street and saw our garage door open.

I came in the house to him telling me he smoked me getting home.  Yeah dude, that'll happen when you're ON WHEELS.  Anyway, I thanked him for coming with me and asked what he thought about the path I found.  He said it was cool and then said...wait for it...are you sitting down?  Good.  He said, "And Mom?  I've been noticing that since I haven't been playing the Xbox...I feel like I have a ton more energy and it's really cool."

Slightly Out of Control

Both my boys love love love baths, showers, swimming, anything with water really.  Bath time with Sam can get a little tricky.  His love of water usually gets him a bit squirrely, and if you don't settle him right away, it escalates real quick like.


At least it was soapy water he was splashing on the floor.  Bathroom floor?  Clean.

Stay Little

For as long as I have been snuggling (read:  falling asleep with) Alex every night, my main defense of this spoiling behavior is that he won't want me to snuggle him forever, so I'm gonna do it while he's still ok with it.  Yeah, well, I've been using that as a defense, but I was clearly not ready for it when he was ready to be old.

Last night, Travis was brewing beer with his buddy, which usually includes a fair amount of consuming beer as well.  So on brew nights, he usually just crashes on the couch there.  And any time Travis isn't home at night, Alex wants to sleep in our bed with me.  So last night when he was brushing his teeth, I told him he could sleep with me.  He happily trotted into my room.  But then he stopped and said, "Actually, that's ok.  I'll just sleep in my own room.  And Mom?  You don't have to snuggle me tonight."  I felt a sting shoot through my heart, and immediately thought to myself, "Fix your face!  Fix your face!"

This is pretty good summation of my reaction:
Image result for oh ok meme

And then?  He really drove the dagger in to the hilt with, "And...you don't need to snuggle me tomorrow night either.  Good night Mom!"

So I gathered my barfed up heart off the floor, and went in to his room to say goodnight and close his blinds.  That is when he explained that he didn't want me to snuggle him because he "needed to get used to this for college."

Monday, August 14, 2017

11:11

Alex yelling to me from the kitchen:  Mom!  It's 11:11!!
Me:  Ah!  Make a wish!
Alex:  I wish that....that nobody gets mad at me for eating all the chocolate of the eclair.

Well played sir, well played.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Semantics

Travis helped out a friend with a leaky hose bib the last two evenings.  The boys and I were at my parents' yesterday, and Alex grabbed my phone when we were leaving.  He got a very serious expression which quickly turned to anger and said, "Mom.  Jeffrey sent you a text.  ...  It's about dad.  ...  And it is NOT nice."  I was completely confused because Jeffrey is one of our best friends and would never utter a bad word about Travis.  And then I looked at the text and burst out laughing.

"Trav is the shit!"

Monday, August 7, 2017

Deep Breaths Ain't Cuttin' It

Alex and I are really struggling lately.  I know it's a mix of the long summer, him trying to figure out how to be not a little kid but not yet grown, and me having high expectations (and little patience) for his behavior.  I know this.  But ho-ly shit.  We might actually box one of these days.

Yesterday, we "started over" three times.  Basically when we are having a rough morning, we stop, talk it out, and agree to start the day over with our earlier disagreements in the past.  That had to happen three freking times yesterday.  One would think after that many restarts we would be good to go.  Turns out, not so much.

He, Sam, and a neighbor kid were playing in the sandbox before dinner.  And while I was chopping some stuff, the neighbor kid's mom was in the kitchen with me.  But she had a good view outside, and at one point said, "Soooo, not trying to tattle on Alex or anything, but just so you're aware, he is putting handfuls of sand in Sam's underwear."  Because of course he is.  So, I went to the door, asked Alex if he would like it if someone put sand in his underwear (for those of us keeping track, he wouldn't like it), and told him to knock it off.  About 37 seconds later, neighbor mom said, "Ummmm....I mean...yeah...he's now putting handfuls of sand in Sam's hair."  So, I calmly put down my knife (POINTS FOR ME), walked outside to the sandbox, picked up a full bucket of sand, and silently dumped it on Alex's head (not so many points for me). Things devolved from there real quick like.

And all of this was before Travis realized Alex had racked up a bunch charges on his account in video game coins.  Sweet sassy molassey.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Fine...this is cute too

Seriously, he is so excited.

Two Peas in an Annoyed Pod

Sitting at my desk and Alex is in the playroom.

Me(singing):  Baby I been, I been losin' sleep!
Alex:  Really.  Have you really been losing sleep Mom?

He is too much like me.  It hurts sometimes.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

This Is It

Last night, Sam slept in a "big boy bed" for the first time.  Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!  He loved it.  He was so excited.  I am slightly heartbroken.  I mean, just look at how cute he was in his crib!

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Sunny Saturday

We hung out at my parents' house on Saturday and as usual, Gramma had her camera out and ready!