Friday, February 28, 2014

Fingers Crossed

All the spaztic movement in utero means this baby is going to be totally calm and content because he got it all out before he was born, right?  RIGHT?!

Thursday, February 27, 2014


Last Friday, Alex was watching some videos on our Tab.  I let him watch a couple and then told him it was time to turn it off and do something that didn't involve staring into a screen.  He surprisingly did not agree it was time to turn it off and told me the next one would the be the absolute for sure last one.  Riiiiight.  So I told him he had a choice:  he could either listen to me and turn the Tab off and be able to watch a video later, or he could watch the absolute for sure last one and not be allowed to watch videos for a week.  After zero seconds of deliberation, he decided to go for it and watch the absolute for sure last one.

He has only asked to watch videos a couple of times this week and has not thrown a fit when I remind him of the choice he made.  Last night, a friend was over and the subject of videos on the Tab came up and I reminded Alex he couldn't watch until Friday.  Through a "not sure if I want to know" expression, my friend asked why he wasn't allowed access to the sacred Tab.  I explained the choice he made, and she and Alex had the following conversation:

Her:  So you can't watch it at all huh?
Him:  No.
Her:  Do you think you made the right decision?
Him:  Not really.
Her:  You think you'll make that decision again?
Him:, probably not.

MOM FOR THE WIN!  I think in the parenting world, we're supposed to call this a "learning moment" or something.  Whatever, I didn't get in an argument with him.  I didn't let the situation get to a point of frustration for either of us.  And I let him make a decision knowing the consequences.  I knocked that shit outta the park.

Call It Like I Feel It

Why don't they just name stuff what it really is?  Why call it sciatica when you should clearly be calling it, Sharp Stabbing in the Butt Cheek Pain That Will Buckle Your Knees?

I'm ready for June.

Monday, February 24, 2014

I will never learn

When will I learn to just enjoy a good thing instead of verbalizing that I am enjoying it?  'Cause the moment I say it out loud, POOF!, it's gone.  I'm feeling nauseated again and am clearly handling it well.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Not What He Wanted

This morning Alex was sleepy and didn't feel like going to day care or school or any where other than home apparently.  He whined that he was still tired, so I told him we would fix that by an extra early bedtime tonight.  Not the response he wanted.

So then he told me his throat was dry and he couldn't swallow.  So I offered him some juice.  Not the response he wanted.

Then he told me his tummy hurt and he didn't feel good so he had to stay home.  That is when I reminded him of our deal that he had to go to day care until at least after breakfast.  If he still didn't feel good after breakfast, he could call me and I would come get him.  And with a tone of "ugh, this freaking idiot," he argued with me telling me that it would be the teachers that would call me, not him.  And I quickly told him if he was well enough to argue with me, he was well enough to go to school.  Get your ass in the car.
If this kid could stop playing rugby with my stomach, it would be much appreciated.  Am I glowing yet?

Getting Back to Nature

I caught a little chill on the way to day care this morning because Alex needed his window all the way down to be able to point out every tree and bush and plant that was going to get new leaves in the spring.  "That one will get new leaves, and that one, and that one, and that one, that plant will get new leaves too Mom, and that tree and that one, and that one..."  Yeah, apparently they talked about the seasons at 4K yesterday.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Killin' it once again

I was sitting here irritated because one of my nails was all jagged and I fixed it with my teeth which then jammed a jagged piece of nail between my teeth which happens like EVERY TIME SO WHY DO I THAT? and I couldn't get it out and every time I tried I just jammed it farther in there.

But then, I channeled MacGuyver, and used the string on my tea bag as floss and watched with glee as the jagged little piece of nail flew over my monitor.

I know you are all very sad you don't get to share an office space with me on a daily basis.
Why do I have to get pregnant all over?  Why can't I be a cute little pregnant chick with a little basketball belly?  Nooooooooo...this kid requires giant thighs and love handles and tree trunk arms to survive.  This is bullshit.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Bad choice of words

Just wondering when one of you is removing this child from my custody for his own safety.  Because I promise you a child that responds to me reprimanding him with, "Blah blah blah all day long." is not long for this world.

His only saving grace was that he correctly interpreted my reaction and high tailed it to his room before I could even begin to yell, much less reach him.

Friday, February 14, 2014


I have been drinking tea since the second coming of beast child has been on board seeing as though tea has less caffeine than coffee, but enough of that highly addictive substance to stave off the headaches I get without it.  My doctor, and a lot of other ones out there, are fine with a bit of caffeine while you're growing a baby now.  This was not the case when I was pregnant with Alex.  I wasn't supposed to have any.  I maybe cheated the day of my ultrasound...but I wanted to make sure that kid moved around so we could see if he was a boy or a girl.  Had I only known the level of constant movement he had goin' on, I probably wouldn't have afforded myself that glorious full caffeine Diet Coke that day.  Anywho, the caffeine taboo during my last go 'round with this has made me feel weird about going whole hog with coffee in the morning.  And I like tea so win win all around.

Except last Saturday.  Alex wanted doughnuts.  And we have a Kwik Trip within 3 minutes of our house.  And Kwik Trip has coffee.  And I had a custard filled doughnut with the most glorious hazelnut vanilla creamy smooth 16oz of coffee heaven.  And it was glorious.  This might just be one AWAKE baby for the next 4 months.

The Tides They Are A Turning

On the left, we have the super sweet paper turkey feather Alex made for Thanksgiving.  And on the right, we have the interesting heart he made yesterday for Valentines' Day.  Not so sure I like the direction things are taking.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

23 Weeks

We have hit the 23 week mark.  According to the interwebs, the newest beast is about the size of a large mango.  However, last week it said he was the size of a spaghetti squash.  So either these people are eating tiny spaghetti squashes and gifreakingnormous mangoes, or they're confused.

My doctor said based on the ultrasound he is measuring slightly larger than average.  Awesome.  I'm choosing to believe he is just ahead of the curve with development and is planning an early release upon good behavior.  Either way, he's just under a pound and creeping up on a foot long.  He enjoys regular tumbling exercises and long rests on the couch.  He's a Cancer and is available.  Sooner than June if he doesn't get OFF OF MY BLADDER.

For your viewing:

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Daily Double

I'll take "Things I never thought I would be doing" for $1000, Mr. Trebek.

What is "picking my sleeping child's nose so he can breathe."

Monday, February 10, 2014


I think I need to mix up my vocabulary...while watching the slope style snowboarding yesterday, Alex pipes up with, "Holy macaroni.  That was INSANE."

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Little Runaway

I want to run.  I want to beat all my anxiety into the pavement to pounding rhythm of Florence and the Machine.  I want to feel like my lungs and legs are on fire and push through to the next mile.

I have a million excuses for why I'm not doing just that.  But when I'm being truly honest with myself, that's all they are:  excuses.  Yes, it's freaking cold outside.  Wear a scarf.  Yes, my foot still hurts.  Be diligent about making it feel better.  Yes, it's going to be a slow start because of the being currently taking up residence in my body.  So get started.

The hormones in combination with no stopmybrainfromfreakingout pills and lack of exercise in general is taking its toll the past couple of weeks or so.  My mood overall is pretty sucky.  I'm not constantly grumpy, but my patience is close to non-existent, which is super handy when you have a 4 year old at home continually testing every single rule and boundary put in place.

I think this week might be tough for me in particular because I've hit a moment I knew would come; I have hit the feeling that this second kid was a really bad idea and I don't wanna do it anymore.  I know everyone goes through this.  I remember thinking this when I was pregnant with Alex.  And I know deep down that this will pass and we will love this baby as much as we love Alex.  But that knowledge is apparently enjoying a long nap in the basement of retrievable feelings because all I can summon up lately is guilt that I don't wanna.

Being a pregnant adult parent person sucks sometimes.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Marking His Territory

"Hey Mom! I'm using my wet stuff to write on the window of the door that this is our house so everyone knows it's our house."

"You're using your spit to write on the window?"



Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Whatever it takes.

Alex was super sleepy this morning.  He refused to get out of bed because he was so warm and it was cold out there and it didn't matter that I had his clothes under the blanket warming up, they were going to be cold because he didn't know the temperature of his blankets so how could he know if his clothes were warm enough and no, touching them would not grant him that knowledge because obviously they are sooooo cooooold.

Finally the threat of me leaving without him roused him enough to at least get dressed.  But once downstairs he could by no means put his boots on because he was so upset that he was going to miss Aiden throughout the day.  Like for real crying because he was going to miss the dog.  The dog that avoids him at all costs.

So, I did what I had to do.  I offered him a mini KitKat if he would get ready to go.  No, I didn't say bribed...I said offered.  It has such a better ring to it.  He immediately stopped crying and was totally on board with long as that KitKat was accompanied by a mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.  Smart kid.

Judge away if you want, but that kid was happy as a clam and I was one non-stressed mama.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Rookie Mistake

I threw away an old beat up toy pick up truck.  Not a big deal.  Except I stupidly threw it in the kitchen garbage.  Wanna guess who wasn't on board with the truck getting thrown out when he saw it in the garbage can?  I'll give you a hint:  it wasn't Travis.