Thursday, September 30, 2010

Muy Caliente!

I can't figure out how to get an upside down exclamation point for the title. You're just gonna have to use your imagination.

Alex is still eating dinner early enough that we don't really eat as a family. So for his dinner we are usually heating up leftovers from our dinner the night before, or making something quick like a veggie burger or EasyMac. At least one of us sits at the table with him while he know to form some kind of family eating bonding.

Tangent: I used to scoff at EasyMac. Seriously, it is not a lesson in culinary expertise making mac 'n' cheese. How lazy are people? Ummm, yeah...lightly put, EasyMac is fantastic and was invented by someone who loves us and wants us to be happy. A little water and 3 minutes in the microwave and BA-BOOM! dinner is ready. Throw in a side of peas and sippy cup of milk and you're good to go.

Since we don't eat that early, Trav and I sometimes need a snack to hold onto our sanity until dinner. We are nice parents, so we share our snack with Alex, which more often than not is chips and salsa. Manny's chips and Mrs. Renfro's Salsa? So good. We keep two flavors of salsa, regualr ol' hot and jalapeno green. The jalapeno green is no joke. I like spicy food and I will not usually eat it without a beverage handy. Enter Alex the Freak. He will sit and dip his chip in the green JALAPENO salsa and lick the salsa off. And then go in for another dip. He does this until his little eyes start watering and his face is flush. He would go on beyond that point, but as his guardians, we feel the need to step in and stop him.

Last night for his dinner, we heated up some leftover chicken curry I had made. It was fairly spicy. He inhaled it. After finishing his first bowl he was reaching for more, with his little flush face and watering eyes. I am afraid there might be something wrong with this child.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Babysitter's Club

Tomorrow night we have some places to be that are not exactly baby friendly so we need babysitter. We are also super duper organized and smart and didn't think about that little gem until Molly asked who was watching Alex. She asked that yesterday. Tomorrow we have stuff to do. Nice work on the planning ahead, right?

Our two go to ladies were not able to hang out with Alex, so I asked one of his daycare teachers. She has the day off, she doesn't have any plans for the evening. The stars have aligned and all is right in our little world. But then I took a look around our house last night. Oh my dear sweet grossness. I am a big fan of having things picked up around the house. I don't like irritates me and makes me feel stressed. I am not, however, a big fan of actually cleaning. So while at first glance our house appears clean, one second of sitting on the couch will tell a dramatically different story. With the amount of hair the dog and I are shedding every day, things have gotten more than a little nasty.

I have to admit, if it wasn't someone that has never been to our house, I would probably not bother. But I cannot have someone "new" come into my house with it this dirty. Especially someone that watches my child on a daily basis but has never before had this opportunity to peek further into our lives.

I feel like it is always a little awkward having someone to your house for the first time. The comfortable flow of the house gets slightly off kilter while everyone gets acquainted with the environment. But now, there is going to be that awkwardness compounded with the fact that I am leaving and the person new to the house is staying. I feel like I am working on a huge project and my grade determines how I will be viewed from here on out. And I really want an A+.

Tonight's agenda: Scrub! Vacuum! Wipe! Mop! Laundry!

I know you are just aching to come over...It's the exclamation points. They make things look fun. They are lying.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Are ya sure?

Alex's babbling is well on its way to resembling real words. The one word that has stood out for a fair amount of time is "No." But now "no" has two different meanings.

When you ask him something and he wants to answer no, there is not a shred of doubt that he means no.
Me: Alex, do you want to go inside?
Alex(with furrowed brow): Nooooooooo.

However, when you ask him something and he wants to answer yes, things get a little murky.
Me: Alex, do you want some milk?
Alex(with raised eyebrows): No?
Me: Yes? You want some milk?
Alex: No?

We've got some work to do.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Beat them to the punch

When I picked Alex up on Friday, one of his daycare teachers said, "So..Alex says 'Thank you' now?" I stopped dead in my tracks. And then I did a little happy dance. Finally! Finally I have managed to teach him something before they do. Finally I have fulfilled my role of mother/teacher/poopy butt wiper in all capacities.

I have been saying "Thank you!" and "Say thank you!" so many times in a sing-song voice over the last couple of weeks it is ridiculous. But hot damn it paid off!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Bits of sunshine

I may not be cut out for motherhood, but Alex still gives me little gems to carry with me throughout the day. Even though I could not deal with his whining more than a couple times this morning and just had to walk away from him, he still came and sat on my lap and played with a shoelace with me. And even though I yelled more than once this morning because I couldn't deal with the meltdowns, he still snuggled me while telling me stories.

But the best one this morning...while we were driving to daycare, the song "I'm Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage came on the radio. I turned to check my blind spot before changing lanes and I see Alex. Sitting in his car seat, arms going up and down, head bobbing...Dancing to Shirley Manson. The itsty bitsy spider's got nothin on her.

Good good then

It has been a while since I have had an "I am not cut out for this motherhood thing" moment. Having a 1 year old with a cold, getting bad news, and having Travis out of town for 2&1/2 days...yeah, I am not cut out for this motherhood thing.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Brusha Brusha Brusha

The brushing of the teeth of the monster has begun. Well, if you can call it brushing. It's really more just him sticking his little toothbrush in his mouth and sucking the fruit flavored toothpaste off the brush, but you gotta start somewhere right?

There is a light at the end of the bad breath tunnel however. Daycare requested we bring a tube of toothpaste to leave there because they are going to be brushing teeth after lunch. And since they have pretty much taught him everything so far, I figured his teeth have a better shot getting cleaned if they are involved in the learning brushing process.

Abigail Pail

9 years ago today was a big day. 9 years ago today my niece was born. I remember that day like it just happened. It feels like it just happened. But there we all were, sitting in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity, eating brats my dad had made earlier and was now reheating one by one. And then finally finally finally Joe came out with the biggest smile and the hugest eyes, yelled to us "It's a girl!" and ran back to Nicki and their new baby. I would say ran back to their adorable new baby, but damn. That girl. Wow.

Then time started its march. As cliche as it is, it seriously feels like I blinked and she is 9. What happened to the little baby girl belly laughing on the bathroom counter while I changed her nasty butt? What happened? She turned into an incredible girl. She is funny and smart and beautiful. I am just all giddy and mushy that I have been able to be a part of the adventure that is Abby.

I called her this morning to wish her a happy birthday and to hear what was on her agenda for the day. And I had to fight back tears as she went through, in painstakingly great detail, what she had done so far and what was to come. I wanted to crawl through the phone and hug her. I can't believe how grown up she is and I can't wait to see what the next 9 years have in store.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


In general, I think of Trav as being more intelligent than the average bear. Last night he stretched that definition beyond plausibility.

Our lawn had gotten so long we were going to need a hay baler to cut it down soon. Travis was nice enough to let me have my choice between wrestling the lawn mower or the boy. I chose the lawn mower. It has blades, but I still felt I had a better shot of winning than if I were up against the boy. So, he fed Alex, gave him a bath, and put him to bed. After filling two giant containers with enough grass clippings to feed a team of draft horses, I came in from the yard and asked how everything went and if Alex went to bed easily. All was good except..."He drank so much bath water he threw up...twice." Naturally, I was surprised.

Trav tells me that Alex got his chubby baby hands on this little blue cup I use to pour water over his head when rinsing his hair, and he just kept dipping it in the water and slamming water. And then he says, "Yeah, so he just kept drinking cup after cup and I didn't how to stop him." Ummmm...yeeeeeeah...Gee, I don't know...take the fucking cup away from him perhaps?! So I nicely say, "Yeah, I usually don't let him have that cup so he can't drink that much water." His response, "Well that would have been nice to know."


I was rendered speechless.

Magic Workers

In his new room at daycare, they are working on phasing out cribs for nap time. So they try to have the kids sleep on mats on the floor instead of in a crib. When I was told of this plan, I actually laughed out loud and wished them luck. This child is not an easy one to contain.

The first day he fell asleep on the floor with his blanket so the teacher picked him up and placed him on his mat. He then woke up, crawled off the mat onto the floor and went back to sleep. The second day he kept waking up when anyone would get near him so into the crib he went. But then today, success! I got a picture from daycare of him all sprawled out on his mat, completely zonked out. I am seriously amazed. I have no idea how they get him to do it. I can barely get him to follow me into the kitchen when I have cookies for him. I am pretty positive there is no way I could possibly get him to sleep anywhere that doesn't have bars on all four sides.

He looked so big in that picture though. And so old. He looked like a real live big kid. I was a millisecond away from crying. He is huge.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Movin' on up!

So, Alex likes to sit on the babies in his room at daycare. Yep. He sits on them. The ones that can't crawl know the small and completely helpless ones? Yeah, those. SITS ON THEM. He stands there with his back to them, slowly walks/sneaks backwards and then very slowly sits on them...all the while you can see the glimmer of deviousness in his eyes and he is giggling this evil little giggle. Naughty? Yes. Hilarious? Damn straight. It is a funny thing to watch. Of course you can't let him see that you think it's funny, but it is.

At daycare they have two baby rooms. One with all the cribs and one with stuff for the mobile babies to crawl around in and on. The babies are all either in one room or the other throughout the day. Not anymore.

There are two new babies and they are tiny. One started today. She is 8 weeks old and I would guess maybe 7lbs soaking wet. She is super cute. And breakable. So off to the big room with my brute and the other two walking babies. No more sitting on babies for Alex. Which is good and all, but it is not helping with the freezing him in time thing. And when I said that out loud today, all three teachers in unison said, "Oooo! You should have another one!" Yeah...I'll get right on that. After I grow 7 more arms and hire an army of household help.

Getting Older

On Wednesday night Claire had the realization that Alex is going to be 30 one day. Well, not really a realization I suppose as much as the thought popped into her mind. And then blew her mind. It is weird to think about, but I am kind of excited for when he is an adult and what our relationship will be like then and what kind of person he will have become. The thing that bothers me about him getting older is that soon he will be going to school and meeting new kids and having his feelings hurt and being scared and having a girlfriend I am going to have to pretend to like. Now that is some scary shit.

Any current problems he has are relatively easy to fix. Maybe not easy in the exact moment of the giant temper tantrum because I dared to close the door when he wanted it open, but easier than the social issues yet to come. How do you fix things you can't control? How do I fix it when the kids at school don't want to play with him? Or how do I fix it when he is scared and I am not there to tell him everything will be OK? Or when he thinks I have no idea what is what in the world because I am just an old mom? These are things I don't want to happen.

Can't we just freeze him at this age? First, let's teach him how to talk coherently and then freeze him. I feel if he could express himself with words instead of just an outstretched arm showing the general direction of his preference, things would be a lot less frustrating for all parties involved. But other than more getting older.

This also made me realize this has to be a reason must be why people want more than one kid. Once the innocence and simplicity go away, things get scary. Relax. I am nowhere even in the same universe as thinking another child is close to a good idea. But I get it. I get the wanting to prolong the not scary issues. So, freezing him at present age it is.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I had a whole post about Alex getting older and how it's gonna suck and blah blah blah. My computer is being a jerk. It ate it. Damn it.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


There are a few things in my life that I guess I am addicted to...although I am sure I could stop if I had to, but it would make me sad. Diet Coke is one of these things. I love it. I do my best to limit myself to one a day, but that is super hard. It is delicious.

I have found a new one:

Go. Go now. Don't ask questions. It is fantastic. And supposedly good for your brain too!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Nighty Night

I'm gonna blame it on the teeth ripping their way through his gums...well because I seem to blame everything on his teeth. Cranky? Teething. Fever? Teething. Pooping on the floor? Tee...wait...Dumb mom.

Anyway, the last two nights have not been good on the sleeping front for the little monster, and the only explanation I can come with is that his teeth are bothering him. Sunday night was rough. He woke up at midnight-ish, but was fairly easily soothed. Then 2:30 came around. Awake, crying, not easily soothed. I gave him ibuprofen and sat rocking and stood rocking with him for an hour before he finally fell asleep. And then slept until 6:15. At which point I told Travis I couldn't do it. I was really hoping for 6:30 and the thought of missing out on those extra 15 minutes was pushing me to my brink. I got my extra 15.

Last night wasn't nearly as bad. He slept until 5:30. But it was obvious he wasn't ready to be awake and that he was just uncomfortable, so to the couch we went until about 7 when I realized I only had approximately 20 minutes to get us both ready and out the door. Thank goodness for nighttime showers.

We shall see what tonight has in store for us. Aside from wanting to sleep, I am anxious to see if the new overnight diapers can hold the insane amount of pee this kid produces while he sleeps. Regular diapers are no match for his bladder. They are wimpy like 1-ply toilet paper when battling the immensity of Sleep Pee. Which results in a disgustingly soaked diaper and disgustingly soaked pj's and sheets and a smelly baby. I don't have that many pairs of pj's for him and only a couple sheets...and let's be honest here, there is no way I am doing laundry every day. So, please please please work overnight diapers. I beg you...and so does my little pee smellin' baby.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

After Bath Adventures

Lately when Alex is done with a bath it is a race to get him dried off before he is off and running around the house. The kid loves running around naked. And I am not joking about the running part. He can run now. And he likes it.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. When I pick him up out of the tub and stand him up on the floor mat the wrestling match begins. In my corner is me and a towel. In his corner is him and the advantage of slippery wet baby skin. So far I have won every match, but by the time I get him dry, I no longer have enough fight left in me to attempt to put a diaper on him, much less any clothes. So off he goes.

So far, this has not been a problem. He runs around for a while, laughing like an insane convict that just escaped from jail, and eventually I grab him and get him diapered and into some pajamas. Tonight was a different story.

The bath went great, he splashed around...even dunked his head under the running faucet a couple times. Then the time was upon us. He wanted out. As I pulled him out of the tub, I could swear you could hear the ding of the bell announcing this evening's bout. He wanted to run. So I dried him off as quickly as I could and sent him on his screeching way. He ran around a bit and then came back to the bathroom where I was cleaning up. He played his little game of shutting the door on me, having me knock and then open it up to say hello. But about the third time through, he didn't shut the door. He just stood there hanging on to it. And he got that look. That far away look that every parent immediately recognizes. I froze...And all I could do was ask, "Are you pooping?" The stare remained. So I asked again. Yes, I asked a 14 month old that can only say about 3 & 1/2 words...twice. And then before I could get myself unfrozen, there it was. The biggest poo I think he has ever expelled. Right there on the floor. And then he laughed and started to run away. Which is when I got to see the second poo hangin' out and on its way to the floor.

I will be checking my mail for my Mother of the Year Award starting tomorrow.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I was right! Probably!

The thinking it was teeth that were causing Alex's fever just may have been correct! As previously stated, I thought he had caught a bug. But I just got a message that he has two, count 'em 2!, molars trying to bust through on the top. Having teeth move around in your head is hard work people. It apparently not only can make you a zillion degrees, but it can also make you puke. Awesome.

PS-Kari mentioned that on Tuesday too. Maybe I should go back to listening to what she says instead of going with my overactive imagination. Perhaps.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Eeeasy there freak mom

In the midst of a zillion temperature readings yesterday one came up as 102.4. Which to me is pretty warm for a tiny little man. So naturally I immediately called Alex's doctor. Or more correctly, his doctor's nurse's desk.

Now I have to admit, before I called, I asked Kari what she thought. And she said, "Well, what is the doctor going to tell you?...Give him some ibuprofen. So give him some ibuprofen." And if I wasn't such a freak, I would have listened to her. But I am a freak, so I didn't. Wanna guess what the nurse told me? Yep. Give him some ibuprofen.

I finally came to a realization after I talked to her...and she kinda giggle when we spoke. The realization is simple. Kids get sick. Kids get fevers. Kids throw up. It made me think back to when I was kid and how many times I got sick and how many times my parents didn't have to call the doctor. Maybe it was because I am the third kid, or maybe it was because a sick kid isn't always a dramatic situation. Either way, it is what it is. It sucks, it's messy and you do whatever you can to make your kid comfortable while he rides out the storm.

Or maybe I'm wrong...

Yesterday Alex had a fever. But he has also been drooling a lot and chewing on his blankets and hands ferociously, so I chalked it up to teething, threw some Tylenol down his throat and off to daycare he went. I got a call from daycare a little before lunch that the fever was still there. So we tried ibuprofen, because the daycare teacher agreed it was just his teeth bothering him.

But when I got there to pick him up, he was in a different outfit than the one I dropped him off in. That is never a good sign. He was also all bundled up and sitting in the rocking chair with his favorite teacher and the saddest sad baby face that has ever been sad. Yeah...he had just puked up his entire lunch. Gonna go ahead and guess the fever was not from teething.

He looked so sad! And pathetic! He was not at all happy about his current state. Proven further by the fact that he rode home with his blanket pulled over his head and face almost the entire drive. When we got home, he was super whimpery and only wanted Travis to hold him. Which I was totally fine with when he puked all over the kitchen floor while Trav was holding him. But just my luck as soon as he was almost done puking he lunged for me...only to puke all over my shoulder and himself. I went straight to the bathroom and started a bath while Travis scrambled to clean the floor before the nasty disgusting dog cleaned it for us...with her mouth. Sometimes dogs are just the grossest animals. It's puke! Don't eat it you furry little moron!

Anyway, this is the first time Alex has thrown up since it was just spitting up formula, and holy cats was this more traumatic. He sobbed for about a half hour. And when I tried to put him in the bath he screamed screamed screamed. So I sat him on my lap for a minute to calm him down. So there I sat with puke all over my shoulder and a naked crying kid with puke on his face and chest. Who then proceeded to pee all over me. Because really? Why not? What's one more bodily fluid all over my clothes at this point? Good good. Thanks buddy!

After a bath, some Pedialyte and goldfish, and a couple episodes of Spongebob all was right in the world. He slept well until the jerkstore fever came back as soon as the all powerful ibuprofen wore off. But with another dose and some rocking he was back to sleep until this morning. I am working from home since shockingly day care doesn't want him back today. We shall see how the day unfolds. Wish me luck.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

An Apple A Day

My aunt gave us a giant bag of apples from her neighbor's apple tree. We have found Alex's new favorite food. Each day this week has gone pretty much the same way upon arriving home. He laughs at the dog for a minute and then he walks over to the bag of apples, pulls one out and hands it to me to peel. Then he walks around playing, talking, whatever, with an apple in one hand. When he puts it down to use both hands for something, and I ask him if he is done, he immediately picks it back up and takes a big ol' bite out of it while looking at me. Like, "Don't even think about it lady." Don't get between this boy and his apple.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Shot to the Heart

Alex usually doesn't show much preference between Travis and me, but if he does, I am usually the one he chooses. Not gonna lie...most times I like it. It is a nice stroke to my delicate mom-ego to be his comfort zone.

Well the little jerkstore smashed that ego this morning. And pretty much had been smashing it this week so far. He has become a daddy's boy. Big big big time. The past couple nights he has been much more content playing with Travis than with me, and I have been totally fine with it. It gives me a bit of time to get some of my stuff done.

But this morning was too much. He literally threw a fit when Travis was getting ready to leave. Travis was holding Alex and handed him to me so he could get his stuff packed up and get out the door. Alex faaareeeeaked out. Back arching, head thrown back screaming while twisting and writhing to get away from me. So I put him down. He went straight to Travis. I picked him up again. Same fit. The fit continued for about a minute or so after Travis left and then he was trying to get down, so I put him down. At which point he crumpled into a pile of sad baby with his face buried in his blanket on the floor.

My cure-all Mom Powers are apparently dwindling.


As of 5:57 this morning...I have officially lost 15.5 pounds! 248 ounces! 62 sticks of butter!

We shall see if my scale was just being nice to me this morning or if it continues to be true, but either way I am taking it.

Never stops

This child does not stop talking. Most of the time we have no clue what he is saying, but every once in a while it is totally clear. And sometimes, it seems as though an entire sentence is clear.

Last night for example, he was playing with Kari. They were swinging the door to his play house back and forth to each other. Honestly, Alex was trying to hit Kari in the head with the door, but we're gonna just skim on over that little detail. So the door is going back and forth, Alex pushes, Kari pushes. And then Kari pressed the doorbell. And both of us totally heard him say, "Who's at the door?" Kari and I immediately looked at each other with sheer and utter shock. Did he seriously just blurt out a complete sentence? And I thought I was impressed when he said "Kitty!" this past weekend. He was even pointing at the cat! Clearly he is much more advanced than I give him credit for.

Right as I was about to doze off into dreamland last night, I hear Alex making noise over the monitor. But it wasn't his normal nighttime, come cover me up after I have thrown my blanket off AGAIN, noise. He was talking. Straight up talking in his sleep. For quite some time too. I don't know who he was talking to, but they got an earful.