Spinning

In seven days, the boy will be three months old. Three months. That seems like a long time. Like if you have a trip, but you aren't leaving for three months it is agonizing. Or can you imagine how long three months in jail would feel. That's a lot of radiator grilled cheese sandwiches. But when one is realizing that is the amount of time they have had a child it seems like a millisecond. The whole I have a kid thing is still quite strange to me.

When I was pregnant I thought that I would have a pretty good grasp on the daily happenings in the kid's and my life by now. I thought wrong. Still on just about a daily basis this kid throws a curve ball into the mix and it is a pitch I have never seen and I have no idea how to hit it. It is amazing how something so little can throw everything and everyone around him into such complete upheaval. The only thing I am sure I have a good handle on every day is the route I drive from home to daycare to work to daycare to home. I've got that down pat! Everything else? Total crap shoot. We are lucky though, because as babies go, I think Alex is a pretty easy baby. If we could get rid of the spazzy meltdowns, I would go so far as to say he is angelic. But I don't want him to get a big head. And those spazzy meltdowns are a good way to keep him grounded.

Another thing that adds to the massive feelings of being overwhelmed is the lack of time. I didn't know that when he was busy stealing my brain he was also sneakily subtracting time from the day. He must have done it in small enough increments so I wouldn't notice. He's smarter than that gummy little smile leads you to believe. It is just unreal how quickly each day passes. By the time I get home from work, get dinner going, feed him, change him, wash bottles, load the dishwasher and eat, it's time for bed. The killer is, you have to do all those exact same things again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. But wait! Then there are many days that just adding one out of the ordinary task to the mix brings on a drowning like feeling. But then you just plug away and get it done. And then fall asleep the second your face smooshes into the pillow.

I honestly do not understand how single parents do it. Any of it. At all. It boggles the mind.