What's right?

Is it just me, or does every new mom feel like they are not doing things right? I crave to hear what other babies Alex's age are accomplishing, but then worry that he is not doing it as well as the other kids. I can't let go of the feeling that I am not doing this right and he is going to suffer because his mom is a bumbling idiot.

I was thinking this feeling was coming from the mom board thing so I started paying attention to when the kids were born since most mom's list their kid's birth date. But that still doesn't settle my brain. I don't know why I can't just be satisfied that he is healthy, eating well, obviously learning things as we go, and happy. I am happy with those things, I am just worried that I am doing things or not doing things that are holding him back. It's almost like I feel competitive with the other moms and their kids. Although it's not a feeling of wanting him to be better than the other kids, it's more of wanting constant assurance that he is on par with the other kids. I'm not going crazy, why would you say I am going crazy? This is a totally rational way to think. Right? Right?

I think a lot of my problem with this is that I feel like I don't have enough time in each day to do the things you are supposed to do. Like tummy time for example. I want to do tummy time, but I am not going to put him on his stomach and walk away. But if I am sitting right there, I can't make dinner or do the laundry or get his bath ready or wash bottles or blah blah blah. So where do you make those choices?

Last night he was sleepy, but was fighting it, so I decided to rock him and read to him. But I was really not in the mood for Farm Babies or anything of the sort. I really want to read this book Mariah lent me. It's called Lovely Bones. It is very well written, but very sad. And totally inappropriate to be reading aloud to a baby. But that apparently is the mom that I am...I read a book about murder to my baby. Nice. But I figured at this point, he doesn't really understand the words...And they do say it is important to read to your baby. Done and done. For one day. Tonight we will read about Farm Babies. I promise.