Called Me Out

I wore my fabulous reindeer hat yesterday morning when dropping the boys off at school.  When I pulled it on my head, I said, "Welp, my hair is nasty; good thing I love this hat!"  Then I heard Alex chime in with, "Or you could take a shower and wash your hair."  Or you could shut your face, sir.

Mixing Subjects

Sam asked for a piece of paper and a pencil last night.  He worked super hard for .9 seconds and proudly produced the following and asked me if I knew what it was:

I was pretty certain, so I said it was two rectangles.  Nope.  "This one's a big rectangle, an this one is a lower case rectangle."

Never Doing it Right

When the boys have milk, we usually do half white milk and half chocolate.  I usually remember to pour their glasses before putting them on the table in case one of them decides white milk is the most digusting thing to ever be that day.  Last night, I forgot and Sam watched me pour the milk.  I seriously poured half a cup of white milk and then half a cup of chocolate milk.  Sam looked at me like it was my first day here...

"Is this half white milk and half chocolate milk?  I don't like 1/2 white, 1/2 chocoalte.  I like 1/2 white and whole chocolate.  You put the chocolate in first and THEN put in the 1/2 white.  That's how Daddy does it."

Best Christmas Purchase So Far:

Quick Wit

When I drop Alex off at school, he is faced with one of two options for entering the school.  Which option he gets is dependent on how early we get there.  If we get there early, he has to walk up a big hill and go across the playground and go in the back doors.  If we get there late enough, he just walks in the front door.  I have no clue why it is set up this way, but I trust the administration has a solid reason for it, and as you can imagine, my darling prefers the latter.

The other morning was a bit of a bear.  Both boys were literally dragging their feet getting ready as I felt my patience winnowing away.  After some sharp words, we were finally all in the car.  We had a chat on the way about how we could be better organized so we could avoid all feeling crummy to start our days.

Everything was back on track and as we pulled in I mentioned to Alex that we were late enough that he didn't have to walk up the hill.  With a little smirk, he quickly said, "I'd like to think that is partially due to my efforts."  He's lucky I know he wasn't functioning with that much forethought when he was moving like a sloth on downers to get out of the house.

Curiosity Plugged the Sink

Any guesses as to what is pictured here?

I was admittedly confused when I walked into the bathroom and saw the sink like this.  I realized mid "WHAT is in the sink?" what it is.

Dried, hardened candle wax.

Yep.  Candle wax.  Poured into the sink and down the now plugged drain pipe.

I made bacon in the house yesterday, which I normally don't do because I can't stand how it stinks up the house.  Travis was kind enough to light a couple candles and close the bedroom doors to help mitigate the stank.  A while later, Sam went to the bathroom.  Being that he is old enough to go on his own and I had forgotten about the candle, he was unaccompanied.  This was apparently a good idea to him at the time.

Have kids they said...it's so rewarding they said.

So Fresh and So Clean

Our washing machine was not doing such a great job of washing the clothes, so we ordered a new one.  The delivery guys came this morning to install it and take away the old one.  They were here right on time and everything went smoothly.  I bid them adieu and carried on with my morning of work and tackling the giant mountain of laundry we had accumulated whilst waiting for the new machine.

A coulple hours later, I went up to make lunch and grab the mail.  As I was walking to the mailbox, I spotted a small lump of black fabric on the driveway against the garage door.  As I neared the lump, my heart started sinking.  Is that what I think it is?  No...it can't be...oh wait...yep....it IS a pair of my underwear.  How in the world did it get OHMYGOD. 

Yeah, I'm quite certain the delivery guys, both looked to be about mid 30's, checked our old machine to make sure there weren't any clothes in there.  But there was.  One lonely pair of underwear.  My underwear.  So instead of bringing it to the door and handing me my underwear from a washing machine I had just told the guy wasn't getting the clothes clean, they tossed them against the garage door and hoped for the best.

Here's to hopin' I never recognize either of them every again forever and ever amen.

It Is Upon Us

I totally killed it for the the first snowfall this year.  All set with boots, jackets, gloves, snowpants, hats.  I even have multiples of most of the things on that list.  ...  As long as you are talking about gear for Sam.  I am FULL UP on gear for Sam.

Alex went to school in sneakers and a sweatshirt today.  But!  He did have a hat and gloves...the little stretchy ones.

My Boy

His training is coming along quite nicely...

Halloween

Another Halloween in the books.  Both boys dressed up at school and had parties.  Alex went out trick or treating with his buddies in the evening, and Sam stayed home and handed out candy.  Like literally.  For every kid that came up, Sam would stand next to the candy bucket, choose a piece for them, and gently put it in whatever candy collection utensil the kid was using. 

Luckily daycare got a picture of him because he didn't even put his costume back on to hand out candy.  They posted a couple of pictures, and in every one, his Wild Kratt Spider Monkey mask was askew.

Alex dressed as a ninja.  However, I'm not sure how successful of a ninja he would be with neon yellow shoelaces...

We Are Family! Minus One

Sam was all excited to show me the little cardboard family he colored at school yesterday.

"Mama!  Look at my family!  There's my daddy, my brother, me, and my dog!"
"That's great Sam!  I like how you colored them all and their eyes look great!  But, where's the one for Mama?"
"Oh...I didn't feel like coloring you."

Oh, yeah, ok.  Sounds good.

They're All Goofy

Sleeping in a bed; I think she's doin' it wrong:

Art

When we got to daycare today, there were a couple pieces of Sam's art in his cubby.  I was particularly tickled by this one:

So I told him I really liked the cloud he made...

"It's not a cloud Mama; it's a ghost."
"Oh!  Indeed it is!  Well, I really like the ghost you made.
"Thanks!  We used those rotten balls to make to make it."
"You mean 'cotton' balls?"
"Sure!"

Fidget Spinner

Our house is like every other house on the planet that inhabits children...we have fidget spinners.  Many of them.  All different colors.  Some metal, some plastic, all spinny.  Until recently, this fad was exclusive to Mr. Alex.  But all of sudden, Sam came to the realization he needed a fidget spinner in his life.  Giving in to him and to my dislike of dealing with people, I found him a green light-up one on Amazon for $7 and free shipping.  Done and done.

A couple days later, I received the delivery notification so I knew it was in the mailbox.  I figured Sam would get a kick out of getting a package in the mail, so I left the tiny trek down the driveway until I picked him up from daycare.  Totally worth it.  He was so excited when he saw there was more than just the regular mail, and that was even before he realized the package was for him.

Once we opened it, his joy exploded out of him.  He was beyond excited.

But.  He has a hard time saying "fidget" so when he talks about it, it sounds much more like "spinach spinner."  Which, of course, I adore.  The other thing that I can't get myself to correct?  He continually gushes about how nice it was of the mailbox to bring him his spinach spinner.  Not me, not the mail lady, nope...the mailbox brought it to him.

A Little Young for This BS

Actual conversation with the 9 year old while watching "America's Got Talent."

Me:  Who's this dude again?
Alex:  Who? (Because even though we are watching THE SAME SHOW ON THE SAME TELEVISION, he cannot answer a question from me without asking for more information ever.)
Me:  Oooooh, yeah..he's one of the magicians.
Alex:  Actually, he's an illusionist.
Me in my head:  Actually, you're being an asshole.

Ouch

Last night at bedtime, I tucked Sam in and said good night.

"Good night my little Sam."
"Good night my little Mama."
"I love you."
"I like you, too."

Dang kid.  That stings a little.

Yellow Blanks Lives On

Oh, Sam's attachment to his yellow blanket.  It feels dishonest letting the ratty thing keep the title of Yellow Blanks as it is no longer showing any shades of its once vibrant color.  We try to sneak it into the wash as frequently as possible, but rarely is it gone long undetected.  Sometimes we can talk him into letting us wash it without a fit, but those instances are few and far between.  And now that he went from having a 2&1/2 hour nap a day to nothing?  Yeah, volatile is a word that frequently comes to mind.

Short story, long?  Yellow Blanks is nasty right now.

On the way to school yesterday, I hear Sam say, "Why is this long string on Yellow Blanks crunchy?"  Alex visibly gagged and said, "Sam. ... When your blanket is crispy?  It's time to wash it dude."

Last Chance

The boys love taking baths together...and swimming together...and bouncing on the trampoline with the sprinkler spraying together.  They're pretty much good if there's water involved.

This evening they were on the trampoline with the sprinkler for a bit, and Alex hopped off to inform me they should turn the sprinkler off because he "saw a river" in the yard.  Good good.  That outta adequately add to the crazy mosquito population.  As they were coming in, they were already asking if they could take a bath.  Now it's been a hot minute since they have been allowed to take a bath together because every sinlge time, it ends up with a flooded bathroom.  For some reason I decided to give them one more chance this evening.  But, I made them stand there for a quick lay down of the rules once more.

Me:  There will be no jumping. 
Alex&Sam:  Right.
Me:  There will be no water on the floor.
Alex&Sam:  Right.
Me:  And if there is water on the floor, what is going to happen?
Alex:  We will have to get out.
Sam:  Booof!  It's gonna explode.

Mindful Children

There is a scene in an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse where Daisy attempts to show Donald how to miniature golf.  Donald is too busy being a chauvinistic asshat to listen, and pushes Daisy out of his way while saying, "Step aside, Toots!  I'll show ya how it's done!"

Yeah.

That is an actual scene that happens.  Don't even get me freaking started on the cute little detail that all the female characters in that abomination of a show only wear high heels.  Daisy was wearing high heel SNEAKERS the other day.  I mean.  Come on.  And?  Even when the female characters are saving the day, which they pretty much always have to do because all the male characters are damn fools, they end up checking with Mickey to make sure they're doing the right thing.  Now that I'm typing it all out, we may be done with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in the Julius Clubhouse.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway. 

Wanna guess what 4 year old picked up Donald's lovely line?  Oh you bet.  Samalamadingdong has consumed that comment, digested it, curated it, and is ready to show. it. off.

He asked for milk yesterday and as I went to the fridge, I heard a voice that sounded like someone just sucked in four helium balloons after smoking seven packs of Camel Straights pop up behind me saying, "Step aside, Toots!  Iiiiii'llll show ya!"  And while he's saying this to me, he has his back to me, his one hand out in a "talk to the hand" pose, and his eyes looking back to his peripheral but not turning his head.

So yeah, I'm totally raising a well adjusted boy that understands equality.  Yay me.

Dentist

The boys had dentist appointments yesterday and as usual they chose to sit together on the only little waiting room couch.  But this time?  Good gravy Alex got old all of a sudden.

Healthy teeth for both boys and aside from a gagging incident during xrays, all went well.

So Photogenic

Sam's 4K teacher sent home a very sweet paper with pictures from his first couple of days at 4K.

WHAT IS WITH MY CHILDREN TAKING RIDICULOUS SCHOOL PICTURES?!?!?

Let's just zoom in on that first one, shall we?

I just.  What is this expression?  I have been laughing about this for about 18 hours now.

Back at It

Here we are already, Back to School.

Alex is pleasantly not throwing fits about going back.  Sam is coming unglued with excitement to go to 4K.

I managed to take the worst 1st Day picture of Alex; we may have to try again to document the culmination of 4th grade.

Sam's 1st Day picture went much better.

And then I got pictures from daycare of him getting on the bus and my heart exploded.

Dehydration

Keeping in step with every other summer since I have been working from home, Alex and I have a tumultuous relationship going on over here.  On the whole, I'd say we're doin' alright.  But man, when we're not, we're not. 

Yesterday started out a good day, but took a nose dive when I was pushing him to go outside and be active while I was mowing the lawn.  He whined for a bit but then finally went into the garage to skate and do some hockey practice.  I was happy until I went to empty the bagger approximately 7 minutes later and he was coming out of the house saying, "Whew!  I need a break!  I'm sweat-ting."  Uhhhh, what's that now?  "Well, I was skating and seriously like every 5 or 6 seconds a drop of sweat appeared on my face!"  Huh.  Weird.  It's like your body is trying to cool itself from you doing a minute bit of exercise.  Strange.

So I told him to suck it up and get off his butt.  A full on fit ensued which culminated with him whine/yelling at me, "Don't you even care if I get dehydrated?!?!?!"  Yes honey, I do care.  I don't want you to get dehydrated.  Which is why I suggested you take an f'ing water bottle out with you.  But!  Since you seemingly have such an aversion to sweating, I'll just go ahead and cancel your hockey enrollment.  Oh, and baseball too.  We wouldn't want you getting dehydrated now.

~insert the biggest eye roll EVER from me as my sweaty ass walked away to finish mowing the lawn~

Gotta Find Out On Your Own

Sam wanted to try to use goggles in the pool.  Fine good great.  Except he screams any time you try to pull the rubber strap over his head.  So he found a pair that would easily fit my giant noggin, gently placed them on his head, and assured me my warnings and concerns that they didn't fit were wrong.  "These are just fine, Mama!"

Immediately after that photo was taken, he put his head under, came up with water pouring out of the goggles, and said, "These don't fit."  No shit?  Weird.  I'm surprised SOMEBODY DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT.

Summer

First things first, picture update of the boys:

As is true every year, summer is flying by.  We had an incredible trip to Jamaica in July.  It was the first time on an airplane, and the first time seeing the ocean, for the boys.  They loved both.  Alex was chatty with the flight attendant on the first flight which landed him a seat in the cockpit.

The resort was great, the people were wonderful, and the weather was perfect.  I wanna go back.

Lulu is still a sweet dog...when she's not disembowling Sam's stuffed animals.

We are a lucky family.

Target Trips with Alex

We are headed on vacation and I did some necessity (and a little anxiety) shopping at Target today.  Since it is summer, Alex was with me.  This always proves to make the trip...interesting. 

I needed to buy tampons, and in the 4 seconds it took me to make sure I was grabbing the correct box, Alex grabs a box of Tampax Pearl brand off the shelf, looks at me and says, "I could use some pearls in my life."  Obviously I burst out laughing and told him he didn't need those kind of pearls.  He asked what they were for any way, so I asked if he wanted a biology lesson right there in Target today.  He said yes, but then was quickly distracted and I was saved to let some poor 5th grade teacher inform him about Tampax's Pearls.

Then I had to grab some underwear because Lulu is a bit of a freak, and she has been stealing my dirty underwear from the laundry and chewing them.  Nast.  Anywho, at Target, there is a sign above the underwear bins that has each style listed with a picture of a size 0 model showing what the styles would like if you weren't cramming 12 more pounds of butt into said style.  Alex looks up and blurts out, "Don't you dare by the 'CHEEKY' ones!!!"

This kid is a trip.

Jump Around

Alex has been asking for a trampoline for the last couple of years.  I have always steered against it for fear of injury, laziness of not wanting to move it when mowing, and cost factors.  And then the other day, I saw our neighbor had a "FREE" sign hanging on theirs.  I silently hoped they would rid their yard of it before Alex saw the sign.  No dice.  "MOM!  Mom mom mom mom mom!  The neighbors are giving away their trampoline...FOR FREE!  Can we get it?  Can we?  Please?!?!"  A nice mom would have probably just said yes.  Not me.  This is how it was handled:

Me:  If you want it, you can go over ask them about it.  Ask about what the condition is and why they are getting rid of it.
Alex:  Ok....but will you come with me?
Me:  No.  If you want it; you can go talk to them.
Alex:  ...buuuut, I don't feel comfortable talking to strangers.
Me:  Nice try.  He's our neighbor, and you didn't take a single pause when you talked to him about his two dogs.

He talked his buddy into going over there with him, and they took off.  They came back defeated as nobody was home.  Travis and I mulled it over and decided if it was in good condition, we would get it, so Travis went over on Saturday afternoon to talk to the neighbor.  Other than needing the safety net enclosure thingy replaced, it is in great condition and they are only getting rid of it because their kids don't use it anymore.  So, we decided we'd get it, and we clumsily carried it through three backyards to our house.

Alex came running out and was so excited, and then was immediately grossed out about how dirty it was.  (The neighbors had it under a tree.)  And once again, I proved just how sweet of a mom I can be when I said, "Well....you want it; you clean it."  I'm choosing to believe I am teaching him responsibility and to put in some effort for something he wants.  Whether that lesson is going to stick or he's going to hate me?  That remains to be seen.

But!  He spent a good half hour out there with the shop vac and some wet rags and got it all cleaned up.  And?  He has been a bouncing fool since we brought it home.

Another Year in the Books

It's that time of year; time for the last day of school picture compared to the first day.
Last Day of 3rd Grade:

First Day of 3rd Grade:

Aaaaaaaaaaaand Sam felt it was only prudent that he get to take a picture as well:

Young Man

Alex is playing baseball again and he loves it.  My parents came to watch a game the other day and Gramma did not disappoint when it came to pictures!  I was happily clicking through all that were sent and then my mouth dropped open and my heart just about stopped when I saw this one:

Who is this 24 year old?  He looks so. old.

But then I saw this one and all was right in the world.

The Truth Wiggles

Sitting on the bleachers watching Alex's baseball game last and Sam decides it would be cute to play the drums on my legs.  Fine.  Not fine?  Pointing out how when he smacks my thigh it "wiggles" down my leg.  Shut up ya little jerk.

Birds!

We have a bunch of robins in our neighborhood.  And they all love sitting on the crossbar of our swing set.  Last year, I put bird deterrent ribbon up there, but is SUPER reflective.  Like it was frequently temporarily blinding me while inside the house.  So while it worked to keep the birds away, I'm thinkin' my neighbors (whose house is situated slightly uphill from ours) were probably none too thrilled with that solution.

So back to the drawing board this year.  I saw the idea of using fake snakes as a bird deterrent somewhere, so I figured I'd give that a shot.  I ordered a rubber snake from Amazon and nailed that sucker to the crossbar.

Yeah....I think I might need to come up with a Plan C.

Like Father...

...like son.

Chewy Chewy Chewy Chewy

I had to mow the lawn yesterday.  Like it HAD to be done.  Out of control.  Anywho, I started before Alex was home and had Miss Lulu outside with me.  This set up is ok, but not ideal as she is not quite completely respecting yard boundaries.  So, when Alex got home, I asked him to keep her inside and keep an eye on her.  Apparently the second part of that request went unheard as soon as he and his buddy started playing WWE on the Xbox.

Travis got home just as I was finishing up taming the rain forest we were calling a lawn, and as I was emptying the last of EIGHTEEN mower bagger's full of clippings, I heard Travis inside yelling, "Why in the WORLD is there bubble gum on the dog?!?!"  Uhhhhh, wat.

Yeah, Alex and his buddy were playing video games and taking breaks running upstairs to grab pieces of Double Bubble off the counter.  During a break from shredding the legal pad I use for my work phone log, Lulu decided she needed some gum too.  Apparently she didn't like it, or was chewing with her mouth open, because it got out of her mouth, stuck to the carpet for a hot second and then matted itself into her side while also leaving a 4" string of gum across her side like an arrow pointing to the giant wad of gum that was stuck to her.

Lots of olive oil and a scissors later, she is gum free.  Alex has apologized profusely and helped me clean up the rest of the mess she made while he was so diligently "watching" her.  Sam narrated the whole thing mostly informing me he was pretty sure it was hurting her.  Even though she was almost asleep in my lap. 

Everything is under control.

4 years

Monday was Sam's birthday.  We are officially in the F'ing Fours.  Oh are we ever.  We are full on in the stage of life where anything not exactly how he wants it incites a full on tantrum.  Last night's tantrum started with him throwing a tablet at his brother and ended with him in his room yelling that he hated me over and over and over for about 4 minutes.  So that was fun.

His actual birthday was good though.  He got a bike, toys, and dinner out.  And he got to show off his completely natural camera ready smile...

Happy Birthday Samalamdingdong!

Go The F*** to Sleep!

There's a reason Go The F*** to Sleep is such a sucessful book.  Children are monsters that do not believe in rest.  And anyone who has braved this nightly endeavor can tell you it is so freaking frustrating.

Alex is getting better about it, but he is easily drawn back to the siren sound of f'ing around and asking for a zillion ridiculous requests.  But...Sam has worn him down.  He is a ragged shell of himself by the time he finally gets Sam to shut up.  (And that is after we've been trying to get him to bed for a good half hour.)  Most nights we can hear Sam jabbering and then finally we hear, "SAM!  Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"  And we laugh and laugh.

Sam is doing one thing every night that I just can't help but laugh about though.  I get him all snuggled in, and he looks up at me and says, "I need to tell Alex something."  I remind him Alex can hear him as he is simply on the bunk above him, but I am told he needs to see Alex while he tells him something.  So he rolls out of bed, climbs up to the top of the ladder, and says, "So...Alex...when I was younger..." and then sets off into a story of complete jibberish.  Every. Single. Night.

"Uggggggggggggh, Mooooooooooom."

The attitude floating around this house the past week or so has got to change.  From both boys.

Any time Sam doesn't get what he wants, he rounds his back, jams his arms down by his sides with his hands in little fists, sticks his head out forward, angry pout-walks away from me while growling or yelling, "You are not doing what I want and it is making me VERY frustrated!"  Good job identifying that feeling buddy.  Now stop being such an ass about it.

Alex's mode of expression usually teeters between two main themes.  He will exhibit some undesirable behavior, I will tell him if he keeps it up he will lose privileges, he continues whatever it is he's doing, I will announce that he has lost a privilege, and then he goes into panic/begging mode.  "No! No! No! No! No!  I won't do it anymore!  I promise!  No! No! No! No!"  Ooooooooor, he will  immediately get super pissed and just make angry guttural noises while he stomps away.  Both of these things make my freaking blood boil.  (And yes, I get that's probably why he chooses these behaviors.  Shut it, Freud.)  I couldn't listen to it anymore the other night, and I yelled so loudly I peed a little.

So yeah, things are super good over here.

Breathe breathe breathe

She's cute and she makes Alex happy.
She's cute and she makes Alex happy.
She's cute and she makes Alex happy.
She's cute and she makes Alex happy.
She's cute and she makes Alex happy.

...

Nope.  Saying it over and over is not making me not pissed about this.

Oh yes, you are in fact seeing pieces of a cord from the brand new lamp I bought, that was plugged in to the freaking wall!  Not pictured here?  The other pile of shredded paper and the pile of poo even though I have let her out THREE TIMES in 4 hours.  One of those times, witnessing her pooing!

Bubbles

Sam was snuggling up with me the other day, and started poking my boob and asked, "Am I gonna pop your bubble?"  Geez kid, I hope not!

Heartbreak

Alex has been doing a great job focusing on Lulu and good memories of Aiden.  (Sam, just last night, asked me where Aiden was.  Way to be on the ball there kiddo.)  Last night just about broke my heart though.

He was playing with Lulu and she accidentally whacked her head on the coffee table and yelped.  I didn't see what happened, but based on how he reacted, I'm thinkin' whatever he was doing is what caused her to whack her head.  I sternly told him he needed to be more careful, and thought that was the end of it.

About ten minutes later, I realized I couldn't find Alex so I went upstairs.  That's when I discovered him in the guest room.  Holding the clay paw print from Aiden.  Bawling.  When I asked what was going on, he told me he was upset because he was never going to be able to be around Lulu again because he hurt her and he just wanted Aiden back because he knew how to play with her.

Holy buckets.

But, right on cue, Lulu came running into the room, rocket-dogged up on the bed, snuggled into his side, and licked his face until he stopped crying.  She may be naughty, but she is good for our souls.

Puppy

Remember that sweet little puppy I introduced to you in my last post?  Remember how sweet and innocence she is.  She is.  But she is still a puppy.  She is doing the normal puppy things like chewing the boys' toys, ripping through a flip flop of mine, having accidents in the house.  All fine and expected.

But currently, I am sitting in my office, not my home office, but the office office that I don't have to go to often.  I am sitting here waiting for Travis to go to the house, get the truck keys, come to the office, and unlock the truck.  Why am I waiting for this you wonder?  Oh, that would be because sweet little puppy Lulu LOCKED ME OUT OF MY TRUCK.

I brought her with me to the office, because what dog doesn't like a car ride and she is new enough to the house that I am not so sure about alone time for her.  When we got to the office, I left my keys and phone in the truck because I was parked in front of the big ol' open overhead garage door and was just running in to grab three boxes.  Less than two minutes.  I got my stuff done, headed back over to the truck, and I hear, "CLUNK."  That was the clunk of the doors locking.  With my keys, phone, and dog inside.  I looked up and saw her propped up on my door handle, with her little head tilted, looking at me all, "Oh hey hi!"

Since none of us are at the office very often, there is no office phone.  While weighing my options, I stood there like an idiot for a couple minutes, talking to the dog through the closed window, trying to get her to put her paws back on the door handle and magically hit the unlock button.  Shockingly, that didn't work.  So, I headed to our neighboring offices to ask to use someone's phone.  Fun fact about our office space:  it's part of a handful of office condo type spaces, each one with it's one entrance, and very few people are actually in them frequently.  Nobody was there.  Then, I headed down the street to the city utility company to admit to a bunch of strangers that I let myself get locked out of my vehicle by a 13-1/2 week old puppy, and ask if I could use a phone.  They were very nicely laughing at me as I called Travis.

Bingo bango, 35 minutes later, the doors were unlocked, and this little girl at least pretended to look sheepish.

Feelings and Doggos

The weekend after Aiden died, Alex talked about her non-stop.  Then on Monday, we started taking care of our neighbors' dog.  On that day, all talk of Aiden stopped, and he only talked about the neighbors' dog.  On Wednesday, we were walking the dog, and I asked him how he was feeling about everything with Aiden.  He looked at me like I was the dumbest person residing on Earth and said, "I am really really sad."  I took a breath to stop the tears and explained that I wasn't sure since he wasn't talking about her at all anymore so I wanted to check with him.  He replied with, "Well, I just realized I don't need to make other people sad with my sad stuff."  Then no amount of breathing was going to stop the tears.  I gently told him that was very kind, but to please remember he can always talk to Travis and me no matter what.  And in true Alex form, he brought levity to the situation by saying, "Besides...it's more fun to talk about a dog that's alive."

When we got back to the house, I asked him what he was thinking about getting a new dog.  Not shockingly, he was still very much in favor.  And when I asked what he thought about the timing of said new dog, I was informed the sooner the better.  So I showed him a couple dogs I had spotted on Petfinder.com.  And theeeeeennnnnn, this happened:

Allow me to introduce Lulu.  I have decided her full name is Lucille Julius.  Alex insists her middle name needs to be "Sweet."  Given her demeanor, I'm having a hard time disagreeing.  Welcome to the family Lulu.

Take to the Friendly Skies

We are going on a trip in July!  Shhhh!  Don't tell the boys yet.  I cannot deal with 4 months of "how long until we leave?!?!" on repeat.  We are headed to Jamaica, so passports are needed.  Travis and I are good, but the boys needed to get theirs.  We went on Wednesday.  Good gravy.  I cannot believe I am thinking about putting these two on an airplane.

Alex was mostly well behaved, but there were spurts of him letting Sam get them both riled up.  Sam on the other hand was out of control.  I don't know if we need to get him out in public more or what, but he goes loony when we are out of the house.  It doesn't matter where.  Alex's school, restaurants, Menard's, funeral homes.  Doesn't matter.  He goes insaneo.  Mostly a lot of running and "tripping" and rolling around on the floor laughing.  It's super fun and is a perfect time to display my stellar parenting skills under the watchful judging gaze of other adults.

Things settled for a hot minute once we got into the little room to shuffle all the paperwork.  But as soon as Sam got acclimated to that room, he was back into wild mode.  I am not exaggerating when I say he went from pretending to be a cat to a dog to a rabbit to a frog in a one minute time span.  The postal worker just looked at us like, "Wow.....good luck."

And then we had to take their pictures.  That was ridiculous.  Alex immediately did his weird squinted eyes, closed mouth smile face.  The postal worker told him that he didn't need to smile and needed to have his eyes open.  So then Alex sat up super straight, completely dropped any smile, and bugged his eyes open.  That did three things:  1.  Made the postal worker laugh.  2.  Made Travis blurt out, "Dude, you don't need to look like a serial killer!"  3.  Made Alex's eyes hurt and water because it was bright outside the window he was facing, and his light blue eyes "melt" in bright light.

Sam wouldn't sit still and then did his best impersonation of a suspicious Dr. Seuss character.

Some custom's agent is gonna get a kick out of these passport pictures...

Life is Hard Sometimes

It's been a tough couple of weeks.  Aiden hurt herself and went into a rapid decline.  Our hearts broke and we said goodbye to her on Friday.

Rest easy sweet girl.

Sticky Situation

Sam is becoming an adept stick hunter and gatherer.  Any time he's outside, he is on the hunt for a good stick.  The attributes of a good stick depend on what he decides the use will be that day.  The other day, he found what was declared as The Best Stick EVER, and carried it with him for quite some time.  We had to run an errand and of course the request for The Best Stick EVER to come with us was granted.  This of course meant I needed to steele my patience as the car ride would be narrated with reasons why this stick was in fact The Best Stick EVER.

After the fourth time I declined a request to look at The Best Stick EVER, a new request was lobbed from the backseat:

"Mama!  Look at how much of this stick I have licked already!"

Perfect.

Betrayal

One just let a silent fart go.  One feels betrayed.

This picture was followed by Sam yelling, "Ugggggghhhhh AL-EX!  Why would you DO that?!"

My Little Sunshine

A Boy and His Dog

I was trying to get us out the door on time and I hear, "We can't go yet Mom...I have to snuggle Aiden."

Mix Up

From the bathroom, I hear:

"Mama! I need my bite wupped! I mean my bite wupped.  Wait.  My bite wupped.  Uggghhhh! I can't say that thing! My.  Bite.  Wupped.  Grrrrrr!"

"Sammy, do you need your butt wiped?"

"Yes pleasereezers!"

Top Notch Parenting

Alex only likes to wear ankle socks.  Except for when he plays hockey.  Then he likes wearing at least crew length socks so his skates don't rub.  Which is fine, except he is so adament about the ankle length for everything else, we only had one pair of crew length.  Seeing as though he stinks to high heaven when he gets home from practice or games, we have to do laundry pretty much constantly, so the one pair thing wasn't a big deal.  Until I couldn't find the damn socks.

So, practice comes around, I still can't find the socks, and Travis and I are trying to come up with an adequate substitute.  Travis said he had a pair that was a squinch too small that he thought would work.  He grabbed them, put 'em on Alex's feet, pulled 'em up, and headed off to practice.

It was only a day later when I was folding laundry that I noticed there were words on the bottoms of the socks.  Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah....pretty sure we aren't winning any parenting awards:

Update

Captain's Log, Stardate 21.71575:  We are 4 hours into the snow day.  I fear all control may already be lost.  The bathroom has been flooded twice by the little one who now refuses to put on any clothing whatsoever.  The whistling of outdoor rockets skimming passed my head while I stand in the living room is unnerving to say the least.  The volume of my voice has no affect on them.  It seems to only make them crazier.  The bigger one has headed back out into the snow.  Nap time for the little one is soon.  Hoping to make it until someone can relieve me.

Snow Day!

We got some snow overnight and since the snow levels have dramatically decreased since I was a kid, 3+ inches of snow means nobody can fathom getting to school.  I wish I would have recorded the extended happy dance Alex did this morning when I told him.  It was somethin'.

But, as any other weekday, I still have to work.  Luckily I had a little monkey around to grill up some pretend breakfast...on my desk...while I was trying to take a phone call.  Wheeeee!

Seriously, he's cute and all, but how many times can one child say "Mama" in one day?  Luckily the other one is super pumped about playing in the snow, so I only have one starting every sentence with "Mama" to make sure I'm paying attention AT ALL TIMES.

Blunt

Ohheyhai!  Yeah...so...it's been a while.  ~checks calendar~  HOLY SHIT!  I have written anything down since January 24th?!?!  Sweet sassy molassy.  Well, I will use normal excuses.  Work, hockey, work, insane children, work, confused dog, work, work, work.  Did I say work?  It's been really busy. 

Anywho, I had to come back today to document the stellar parenting skills I put on display this morning.

First a little background...I'm not sure if it's due to the cold or the snow or her age, but Aiden is having a hard time remembering inside the house is decidedly not where she is to relieve herself.  She will scratch at the door, and as long as I am there to let her out within 11.2 seconds of her scratching, we're good.  Until we're not.  She'll go out there for a short time, come back in, walk two laps around the house, pantomime a scratch at the door, and then promptly shit on the floor.  And that's all if I get to the door when she scratches.  If I don't make it there in time, she just straight away pees and poops on the floor.  It's fun.

Both boys have seen and heard our frustration when stumbling upon (and in Travis's case stepping right in and tracking it through the living room) whatever mess that day has brought.  It's usually some sort of guttural groan followed with, "that DOG!"  This morning was no different.  Apparently it didn't matter to her that I hauled my cookies out of bed before 5am to let her out.  She preferred to use the living room floor just before 6:30.

But this morning, while I was cleaning it up, Sam said, "Ugggh!  That DOG!  You need to tell her, if she doesn't stop pooping and peeing where she's not supposed to, you're going to throw her in the garbage!"  Now, the sensible part of my brain knows he's a three year old and he doesn't actually mean any harm, nor does he want me to throw the dog away.  But it turns out the sensible part of my brain wasn't quite awake this morning.  The snarky part of my brain was though.  So I responded, "Welp.  We didn't throw you in the garbage when you used to poop and pee where you weren't supposed to.  We kept you around, so I'm thinkin' we'll skip the garbage can for the dog."

Morning sunshines!

Hey Elsa

Do you wanna build a snowman?  Sam did.

Faker

The dog that is totally deaf?  The one that seemingly is confused about the fact that she is supposed to poop outside?  The one that is losing weight with age and looking more frail everday?  That one?  Yeah, she's apparently still spry enough to reach up on the kitchen table, steal two tomatoes, take 2 freaking bites out of each, and leave them for me to clean up. 

I'm starting to think this aging thing she's got goin' on is all an elaborate ruse.

Alternative Heat Source

My office is downstairs in our tri-level house.  So while I have plenty of windows, I am below the frost line, and baby it's cold down here.  There is an electric baseboard heater on the wall next to my desk, but it's not super efficient and is expensive as hell, so I don't turn it on often.  Every once in a while though, I just can't take it anymore and I turn it on for a bit to take the bite out of the air.  A couple days ago, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I turned the heater on and shortly thereafter thought, "Huh...it smells kinda funny."  I figured some dust had settled on the metal fins and was being gently burned off.  About an hour later, I got up to go to the bathroom.  That's when I noticed the slight smoky haze the sun rays coming through the window were pointing out to me.

Hmmm, perhaps it's not just some dusty fins.  So, I turned it off, let it cool down, and popped the faceplate off the heater.  This is what I found:

I'll let ya look at it for a hot minute to figure out what it is.

...

Give up?  It's a freaking Nerf dart that had disinegrated/melted all over the fins.  It apparently (apparently!) got through the gap between the top of the heater and the faceplate, and just waited there patiently for me to get chilly.

After some picking and scraping, I got most of it off.  Just in time to be overcome with frozen feet.

Evolving

Alex goes through spurts where all of a sudden it feels like he ages 10 years to me.  The past week was one of those spurts.  There is just a different demeanor about him.  He's still a silly 8 year old kid, but little things are showing a grown up is in there somewhere.

A couple easy examples?

1.  He can now take medicine in pill form.  No more liquid in baby cups for him.  He'll just take his allergy medicine as a pill like a grown man thank you very much.

2.  The other night Sam was wheeling around a suitcase with his blanket as its precious cargo.  Alex saw him and said, "You havin' fun with my suitcase buddy?"  Two observations here.  First?  He didn't throw a fit about his brother touching something of his.  Second?  He said suitcase.  It is no longer a soupcase and I could've collapsed on the spot when I heard it.  I made him repeat it.  Twice.  He asked me why and I explained that he used to say incorrectly and it was the cutest thing ever.  He just sweetly smiled with compassion in his eyes and said, "Awww, sorry Mom."

There is one thing he does that I haven't corrected though.  If I do something typical of me but ends up in failure, a person would be correct in saying, "Oh, that's just classic Jackie."  Alex has learned this...almost.  The other day, I dropped something and tried to catch it like 7 times as it rocketed to the floor and of course didn't catch it and looked like a drunk ninja in my attempt.  Alex chuckled and said, "Ahhhh...classical Mama."  It's no soupcase, but I'll take it.

Bunk Mates

Bunk beds happned.  The boys LOVE it.  I mostly hate it. 

The boys are doing great at going to bed without too much screwing around, and the first night just about made my heart burst.  They were all excited and being silly, but then settled in and were quiet for about 2 minutes.  After the noise started up again, I peeked in to see what they were doing.  And that is when I saw Alex with his arm and shoulder jammed through the space under the upper bunk guard rail, reaching down to a little Sam kneeling on his bed stretching his arm up as high as he could so they could hold hands.  Everybody together now:  Awwwwwwww.

But, Alex is on the top bunk.  And it's a twin over full set up.  Which means there's no room for Mama on the top bunk.  So one night Alex and I are doing our nightly reading and snuggling and then next night BAM!  Bunkbeds!  No reading together.  No snuggling.  No solving life's problems with just the soft beam of a night light.  None of it.  I cried more than a bit that first night.

It still stings every night when I give him a hug and a kiss over the guard rail, and I can tell he misses it too which just makes it harder to buck up and move passed it.  I know we'll find a time to quietly be together, but we haven't yet and I am needing it.  On the up side, I am catching up on shows and am spending more time with my husband.  Give and take.