Snoozey McSnoozerton

I am so sleepy! I have never really been much of a nap person, but lately I would give a whole lot to be able to sleep a couple different times throughout the day. First nap, 2pm. Second nap, 5:30pm. Bedtime, 9:30pm. If I could choose, I wouldn't have to get up until about 9am too. Silly work and paychecks and stuff getting in the way. Isn't there some way to get paid to sleep?

The thing that is annoying about the sleepiness is that I am not yet having a hard time sleeping at night. So I wake up feeling refreshed-ish and kinda ready to start my day. I just have no endurance. This kid growing is exhausting business.

Everyone keeps saying, "Just wait...you have no idea what tired is." Yes, I understand. But I don't want to hear that right now. What I want to hear is sympathy...accompanied by a fuzzy blanket, my couch, and my dog.

I also learned a valuable lesson on Saturday. If you are pregnant and happen to think it is a good idea to drink about 3&1/2 gallons of water throughout the day and evening...sleep downstairs, close the bathroom. Eight hours. Four pee trips. If my butt wouldn't have gone numb, I would have just slept on the toilet.

Just got back from my 24 week doctor appointment. More accurately, my 24 & 4 day appointment. But really who's counting? Why would someone be counting the days until I am no longer large and in charge? Who would think to keep track of when I can have a Bloody Mary? Not me by any means, I am simply relishing in the beauty that is pregnancy.

Anyway, everything checked out just fine. I am measuring at 25cm, which is apparently right where I am supposed to be. It cracks me up when the doctor busts out the measuring tape. It feels so 1950's to me. I don't know why, but it just seems so not technologically advanced. Whatever, it makes me laugh.

I am still simply amazed at how often I have to pee. It is unbelievable. The amount of toilet paper we are going through at our house is sadly noticeable. I pretty much feel like I could pee just about every minute of everyday. Which just leads to disappointment because hardly anything comes out. And I think, oh well, at least I won't have to pee for awhile...or no. I feel like I have to pee again. Awesome.

Hyper..Not hyper

This kid is goofy. This may be a direct relation to the parents, but I choose not to get into that. He will sit there, totally still, not moving, for a ridiculous amount of time. Like over a day. And then all of sudden he has gots to move! A lot. All the time. Well, not all the time, he takes little breaks here and there, but it's a lot. So he goes nuts for about two days, and then nothin'....for another day and half.

All day yesterday he was running laps in my uterus. It was cracking me up. It is so weird to feel like I have gas moving through my system, but nothing ever comes out. That is the only way I can describe what his movements feel like. Stuck farts.

Last night when we went to bed little dude was definitely not ready for sleep. I grabbed Trav's hand and put it on my stomach right where the little critter was doing his best Fred Astaire impression. He went on dancing for a bit and then stopped. Travis immediately starting wiggling my stomach and poking me trying to get him to move again. See?! I am not the only one that wants to do that. It made me kinda feel bad for him...he has got a long road of providing entertainment for his parents ahead of him, and apparently we will poke him when we want results.

I love that Trav thinks it's the coolest thing that he can feel him moving. Makes me smile every time.

Cleav-acne

My boobs are giant. This has been discussed in the past, but it always warrants a mention here and there. They are that big. For me at least. I understand that other people have bigger breastacles than I am currently sporting, but when you are not used to big boobs, it is very awkward when they are suddenly thrust upon you.

You would think perhaps the big knockers would help me feel more attractive, sexier, curvaceous, what have you. Ummmm, not so much. Two problems.

First, the boobs and the stomach are now both big enough that if I sit down without a bra on, my boobs are resting on my stomach. Now I have had the boob sweat under there before, but there was never quite this much contact. It definitely gives a sense of overall large-ness.

Second. The skin between in my boobs is used to breathing freely as they very rarely, if ever touched each other. That is no longer the case. Especially because I am doing my best to exclusively sleep on my side. So now the girls are mushed together for about 8 hours a day. Why is this an issue? Zits in the cleavage. Big issue. Gross issue. Never before chartered waters issue.

The little pimples I have recently been getting on my upper back...? I can deal with those. Zits between my boobs...? No thanks, I'd like to sit this one out.

ummm....What?

So it's only 3-1/2 months until we have a baby...in our house...that we are in charge of making sure stays alive. Yeah...reality setting in...Jackie freaking out. 3-1/2 months. That is craziness. I am not sure who decided this was a good idea, but I am pretty sure they were wrong.

Travis and I are totally capable human beings, so I am guessing we will be able to figure this whole thing out, but oh. my. god. We are about to have another living thing in our house that can't tell us in English what they are thinking or feeling. The dog's Spanish is outstanding, but I am bit a rusty so we have a hard time communicating sometimes.

All of a sudden I feel like there are a thousand things to get done before July. There really isn't that much to do, but every item seems like a 7' hurdle, and I am only 5'5", and my vertical is non-existent.

Weird

The human body is so frickin' weird. One of the side effects of being a baby oven is a stuffy nose. Something to do with hormones and membranes, whatever. Anyway, my nose is fairly stuffy, but the thing that's killing me is that my right nostril almost constantly is runny. Just the right side. Never the left. Everything seems to be happening on my right side. My left side is happy. I feel like soon my right nostril and right sciatic nerve are just going to up and quit.

Every time I think about the fact that there is a human inside my body, it totally freaks me out. Like actually think about it. I am growing a human. Inside my body. I don't think that will ever seem normal to me.

The fact that Travis and I are going to be responsible for raising a person also does not seem right. This kid doesn't know what he's in for.

Sleepy and Big.

I thought this was supposed to be the "fun" part of this whole knocked up thing. I am supposed to be glowing and full of energy. Ha! I am way more tired now than I have been since I peed on that stick. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly happy to wear my couch out while donning super sexy sweatpants, but the whole work, laundry, getting the house ready for a miniature human, peeing constantly thing is getting in the way.

I know, I know...just wait 'till he's born, then I will know what tired is. I guess I will consider this preparation for the sleep deprived future.

While out and about at the roller derby this weekend, Travis told me I should not be worried about any weight gain because he "doesn't think my butt is getting big or anything." Ahhh...such a charmer. I have to admit, it was nice to hear though!

It's funny how even though now that I am "allowed" and encouraged to gain weight, it is still such a focus. Am I gaining the right amount? In the right places? Am I going to be able to lose the excess? When can I start doing crunches again? Not that I am trying to make some sort of social commentary here, but it is kinda sad that it just never feels like people, especially women, can escape the doom of their weight.

Either way, this stomach of mine is getting quite large. My feet have all but disappeared.

Looking the part.

So I am definitely looking like a baby growing factory. Trevor likes to point it out every time he sees me, with his eyes bulging out of his head in shock. I can't wait to see what happens in about June. His little head might explode.

We took pictures of the belly finally. They will not be posted. End of story. I do have to say I am pretty pumped that if I am wearing a dark shirt you can't tell from the front. The only reason this makes me happy is that I feel like I am not really gaining much in the rest of my body...so far. I feel this may hopefully, by the grace of something all powerful, make it easier to get a normal body back after this kid is cooked.

Last night, I was prepping some stuff for dinner and had to pull my pants up for the 18 millionth time. And this time I went all out. Pulled my shirt up so I could pull up the "secret belly" portion of my maternity pants. (That part of the pants, totally the hottest part.) Yanked the pants up while doing sort of a squat move to get the legs of them to move up too. It was at this point that Travis stopped what he was doing and just said, "Wow babe. You are totally pregnant." Just you wait baby. It's only gonna get sexier from here on out.

And on the baby brain front...I paid all the bills Wednesday night. Put them in the envelopes and stuck them on the mailbox for the mailman to whisk away. Thursday morning, at work, I realized I didn't put a stamp on a damn one of them. Awesome.

This baby brain is killing me.

According to some silly study, there is no difference in women's brains when they are or are not pregnant. I call shenanigans. Now it's all nice and stuff that these people are trying to reverse some misogynistic thought that pregnant women are dumb, but I frankly would rather have something to blame this on. And why not on my unborn child?

I am not about to say that I haven't always had my ditsy moments...often...especially when it comes to remembering dates, or weddings, whatever! But all that being said, this is getting out of control. I cannot remember anything. Like at all. Not just when something happened in my childhood, or plans for later that week. Things like forgetting to take my keys out of the ignition of the car I have parked and am leaving. More than once. Seriously.

It's these new brain issues I have a problem with. I did not do things like this before this kid took up residence.

Ouch!

So Sunday and Monday marked the first days of actual discomfort. I was not sure what in the name of sweet baby Jesus was going on, but damn. I had a side cramp in my right side that went down my side and curved under my belly and stopped at my hoo-ha. And when I say side cramp, I am being very euphemistic. Searing hot knife pain is better description. Perhaps this child has grown spurs.

The only kinda cool part about this whole thing was that I could totally tell where this kid was hanging out. Not shockingly, he was stage right. You could tell if you looked down at my stomach from my view. It was not symmetrical AT ALL. It looked almost deflated on the left side and very....full on the right. The reasoning for the pain became apparent very quickly. This lovely little boy was hanging out over there putting all sorts of pressure on one side. Not nice, not nice at all. The impression Travis did of what he thought the kid was doing was quite funny. It involved a lot of butt wiggling like someone trying to spoon someone behind them. The face that went with the motion...also very humorous.

As long as I sit still, the pain stops. But standing up, sitting up, rolling over....? No dice. The whole side pain thing is definitely better today. It transformed into the worst gas cramps I have ever experienced this morning. I am talking whining, wincing, rolled up in a ball on my bed type of gas cramps. Not the prettiest I have ever felt. Thank goodness for GasX.

All this complaining and I am only 22-1/2 weeks in. As I wondered how in the world I am going to be able to actually birth this kid, Nicki wisely stated, "Epidurals are the bomb."

Construction!

Saturday I got all ambitious and we made a trek to Menards. Mostly boring stuff like new outlets and light switch covers, but I also got paint for the baby's room. I decided to go with this for the bedding in there. So we decided to go with the color of the elephant's ear for the walls. There are some cool cubby-like bookshelves that are open in the back on two of the walls. I am planning on painting the color of the elephant itself on the walls behind the bookshelves. Which is going to be an adventure since I am not taking the shelves off the wall. I am thinking we should buy stock in masking tape before I attempt this. Would that be considered "insider trading?" Hopefully it will look like what I have pictured in this pretty little head of mine.

The other thing that I had nothing to do with, but am super excited about is my darling husband and darling brother-in-law spent the day yesterday hanging a new door on the closet next to the bathroom and more importantly, one on the baby's room. That room hasn't had a door since we moved in. And since it's main function was housing the beer fridge, a door was not a necessity. Actually, not having a door was preferred...less obstacles getting to the sacred fridge. However, come July, we may just want some sort of sound barrier for that room. Not that our house ever gets loud...

It was more work than we initially anticipated. But apparently that is what happens when you buy a house that was built in 1920. Irregular measurements on doors do not make for an easy installation. Luckily we had Joe there with his tools and infinite wisdom. I am pretty sure there would have been a lot of swearing and not a very good looking final product had we not had his help. So now we have a new door complete with a new door jamb. No new trim yet. We'll get there soon.

I have not yet determined what I am going to do about shades for the room for this little critter of joy. Complete light blockage is the goal. I wonder if those reflector things you can get for your car windshield would be tacky?

Sugar!!!

The amount of sugar I am craving is craziness! I have to be very mindful of what I am eating throughout the day and ration the amount of chocolate goodies I have at my desk. So far, my self-control has been pretty decent. Even though my taste buds are in full on war with my mind. My taste buds and stomach seem to think everything consumed should be filled with or covered with chocolate. I have always liked chocolate, but not like this. After I eat anything, I am immediately thinking, "You know what would be good right now?....Chocolate." Bring it to me now.

I am pretty proud of myself though because even with all this increased sugar intake, I have managed to continue to contain the weight gain in the baby bump and boob area. I still fit in my regular pants, albeit unbuttoned and with a Bella Band. But 22 weeks in and can still wear pants from before I got knocked up? I am OK with that.

Now seriously, bring me some chocolate cookies.

I have to say I am feeling pretty good. Ever expanding, but good.

Feeling him move around is helping me feel reassured that things are clipping right along in there. Last night he was moving so much Travis actually could feel it a little. He just looked at me, smiled, and said, "Whoa...that is really weird." And I was all, really? No kidding? Try having that going on on the inside of your body! It is the strangest feeling. And I have to admit it almost makes me nauseous. Almost like motion sickness. Bizarre.

Now that I know he is moving around in there, when I get bored I am very tempted to poke my stomach until he moves. Why should I wait until he is born to annoy him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, he needs his rest to grow and develop. Fine.

Finally!

Friday marks the day I finally felt the little guy move. It definitely was not a flutter. But I was quickly reminded that I am past the flutter stage. I am moving quickly towards the "get your foot out of my ribcage" stage. Anyway, he moved and I felt it. I assume it is because of the anterior placenta that I cannot feel him move all that often, but based on how quickly he is filling his current room, my guess is that feeling him move will not be a foreign feeling for very long.

We also started our registry Sunday. Travis came with me on to help pick out the big stuff like a stroller, pack n play, glider, swing, things like that. I will be going back without him to get the little stuff as his energy for shopping was definitely used up by the time we found the big things we liked. I was smart enough to not let him test out the gliders until the very last thing...Good thing too since he was almost asleep the instant he sat down in the one we chose.

And what weekend would be complete without a total mommy-to-be meltdown? I once again got all mad and sad about the whole not going out and playing with everybody thing. I felt like a big bag of boring suckfest. And I felt left out. And obviously very rational. After many tears and a reassuring pep talk from Trav, we ended up having a great night with Travis's brother and his wife...even if they did kick our butts up and down at Euchre.

Ahhh...Honesty.

My suddenly feeling like I look pregnant was confirmed last night...When a four year old walked into my kitchen and burst out laughing saying, "Your belly is getting really big!" Thank you Trevor. Alas, he is correct.

Now if I could just feel this kid moving, we would be all set. Soon enough I am sure I will feel it and realize I have been feeling it for a while, but for now the little sucker has me stumped. I have no idea what I am supposed to be feeling. Yes, yes, I know it is a little flutter. That is not helping me figure it out. My baby movement feelers are coming up empty handed. I can guarantee I will be shouting it from the rooftops when I finally figure this little challenge out.

Maybe just maybe I ordered a blanket from a nursery set I like. And maybe just maybe it has the cutest elephant on it I have ever seen. Just saying.

All of a sudden last night, I feel like I look pregnant. I say all of a sudden my stomach is big, Travis says I was just in denial before that moment. Obviously, this big stomach thing happened during the day yesterday and he has no idea what he is talking about. Clearly.

Anyway, there is definitely something there now. I am down to one pair of normal jeans that will still work. And that is only because they are so low rise, they don't go any higher than where this preggo belly thing starts protruding. I have given in to the maternity pants.

I also gave in and went shopping for maternity clothes. Motherhood has some cute stuff. They also have a pillow that you can strap on that adds three months to your size so you can see how clothes will fit you three months down the road. Ummmm...yeah. Interesting is the most euphemistic word I can come up with. Kari uses the word hilarious. She is not nice. Every time I showed her something I was trying on, she made me go back in, put the stupid pillow on and come back out. And then she would laugh. Hysterically.

Buying new clothes is always fun, but when you have to buy a whole new wardrobe to ensure you have clothes that fit for really only about 7 months, it is a bit frustrating. It's just so hard to spend the money knowing how soon I am not going to be wearing these clothes. Them's the breaks though. Think anyone would notice if I just wore the same 7 outfits each week? I'll switch up which day I wear each one to keep people on their toes.

Drumroll please.....

It's a boy! We saw boy parts twice! We are both super excited.

His stomach, kidneys, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, feet, hands and everything else are all in the right places. Everything measured right where it is supposed to be. He is a healthy normal growing little baby boy. Travis pretty much summed it up when he said he never thought he would be so happy hearing a doctor say the word "average" so many times. I mean we know this kid is going to be super duper extraordinary once he is born, but for now, I will take average and normal every time.

Ultrasound is the coolest thing ever. It is amazing how you can see everything. I mean how cool is it that we got to see his heart beating? And his arms moving. It was a huge relief to see him moving. The ultrasound tech held the wand thingy still for a minute because I couldn't tell if he was actually moving or if it was just because she was zooming all over the place. So cool. He was just hanging out in there. Moving his head and arms and legs all around. I could have sat there all day watching that screen. I feel much better about my ability to not screw up this baby growing business. Once it comes out? Different story.

It was awesome to tell our family and friends. Everyone is so excited about this kid! The support and love Travis and I have from our family and friends is amazing. I cannot imagine taking on this epic adventure without these people in our lives.

Will 1pm ever get here?!?!?!

Today is the day. 1pm. Ultrasound. I get to see the creature to which I am playing host.

The anticipation of this appointment is killing me. I am so excited and so nervous. I cannot believe we are going to get to see it! I also cannot believe I am expected to drink 32oz of water and not pee within 45 minutes of my appointment. And then they are going to push on my stomach. I hope there is a mop handy because I am not making any guarantees of bladder control at that point. Just the thought that my peeing freedom is going to be restricted is making me want to pee every four seconds.

I am interested to see how I react when we find out if it is a boy or a girl. Obviously above all else, health is the most important factor. But I don't believe anyone who says they don't care either way. I can see changing your mind about whether you want a boy or a girl, but not having any preference...? I don't buy it. That being said, so far I am wanting a boy. Mostly because I remember being a teenage girl and I wish that evil hormone-ridden devil upon no one, much less myself.

Get your gender bets in now, time is almost up.