Synonyms

I don't usually re-blog or whatever, but this was too good.


Why living with a toddler is like living in a frat house:


-There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.
-There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.
-It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.
-You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.
-You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.
-There's definitely going to be a fight.
-You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.
-There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.
-You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.
-You lie to your parents about what's going on at your place.
-At least one person is lying on the floor, either face up or face down, singing at the top of their lungs.
-There's bound to be someone dancing naked in the front yard.
-Often, for no reason, someone laughs uncontrollably for minutes on end.
-All conversation occurs as though at least one of you has forgotten the language.
-People can't climb the stairs without using their hands.
-No one walks in a straight line and they randomly fall down.
-There are always fights that need to be broken up. And are immediately followed by "I love you, bro."
-Somebody just ate a goldfish...and he seems very VERY proud of himself.
-Try as you might, you cannot get people to stop dancing on the furniture.
-Whenever you sit down some weird guy is RIGHT there, hanging all over you. Not taking a hint.
-You constantly say things like "Please, dont lick my pants!" and wonder why on earth you would EVER have to say that outloud.