Ticktastic

This morning I reached a huge milestone in parenting.

All was going smoothly this morning, Alex snuggled up on the couch while I got ready, and aside from feeling like crap I was running right on time.  And then I sat down to get Alex dressed.  And I pulled off his pj's top and saw what I thought was a smudge of chocolate on his chest.  Nope.  Not chocolate.  A freaking tick!  And it was just me, Big Al, and the mutt...and she is useless unless you need someone to be barked at.  Pretty sure the tick wasn't coming out for that.  Hold it together Julius, you cannot curl up in a ball in the corner and gently rock until this thing goes away.

I stopped myself from freaking and went and got the rubbing alcohol.  I soaked that little sucker.  Nothin'.  Legs didn't even wiggle.  And it wasn't all full of MY CHILD'S BLOOD.  The stupid thing was dead.  But still stuck in his chest.  I swear someone somewhere told me you are not supposed to pull these stupid things out, so when the alcohol didn't work, I called Travis.  His only idea was to Google it.  Which I did and landed on the CDC website and they told me to pull it out.

While I was surfing the web to figure out how to care for my child, Travis asked if I was feeling any better.  Thank you for asking honey, but no, I do not feel any better, but I cannot deal with that right now.  There are bigger things afoot.  Like a TICK IN MY SON'S CHEST.  He apologized profusely for not being there to deal with it.  Which again is very nice, but doesn't solve the situation at hand, so I got off the phone and armed myself with a tweezers.

I instructed Alex to hold still and just watch Mickey Mouse and I started pulling.  And pulling and pulling and pulling.  His skin was all stretched out and I was on the verge of freaking out and finally the little bastard popped out.  Deader than a door nail.  But I did it!  I sucked it up, put on my Super Mom cape, and took care of the nasty little thing.

After it popped out, Alex just looked up at me, "Fanks Mama."  You bet kiddo.  I will always be here to remove horrible nasty disgusting parasites from your tiny little body.  And I will do my best to wait until you are out of ear shot to freak the fuck out.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUCK!  YUCK!  YUCK! YUCK!