Friday, March 30, 2012

Tub Pooper

We made it through the first 2 & 3/4 years without pooping in the tub.  And now it starts?  What the hell?  We're goin' about 50/50 on baths with and without poop the past week.  There has only been once that I caught it in time and managed to get his slippery little butt on a toilet.  Every other time I end up fishing turds out of MatchBox car infested water.

I have to admit, the fault lands squarely on my shoulders for the most part.  Last night was a perfect example.  He stopped zooming cars around and got that I'm Gonna Poop face.  I brilliantly ask him if he does in fact have to poop.  Dumb dumb dummy Mama.  Knowing he would have to get out of the bath to poop, he shockingly assured me that no, he did not have any poops.  And here's where my impressive level of intelligence comes into play.  I not only believed him that time, but I also believed him twice more when I asked.  Ya wanna know what happens when you believe a toddler when they tell you about their bodily functions?  You got it.  Turd fishing.  That's what happens.

Then, he has the audacity to ask me why when I say he has to get out of the tub.  Well, honey, for starters your splashing around is making it harder for me to catch your poop.  That you pooped out.  In the tub.  Not mention my second reason, I am not a huge fan of you bathing in poop water.  Kinda defeats the purpose of the soap.  But if that's how you wanna roll, we can just use the toilet instead of the tub.  Make sure you scrub under the lid while you're in there.

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