Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Total Control

As of late, the biting had seemed to be a quick phase that we were happy to leave behind. Until yesterday. I got there to pick him up and was handed an "Ouch Report". The teachers have to give parents these little reports if their kid gets hurt. The report explains what happened and how they took care of it.

Here's the explanation of how Alex got hurt:

"Alex Julius was fighting over a toy with another child. Alex bit the other child and the other child bit Alex back, on his hand."

Fantastic. Gotta admit, it reads a bit more like a bad note sent home from school than a sympathy inducing ouch report. I was also informed they had to fill out an ouch report because both children left marks.

After congratulating Ryne (who played the part of "the other child" in this little adventure) for finally getting him back, I attempted to put Alex's coat on him. Based on his reaction, he wasn't quite ready to leave.

He immediately started screaming and all limbs turned to rubber. So I sat him in a time out. He sat for .00001 second and then followed after me, screaming. When he got within reach, he tried to hit me. Repeatedly. I got down to eye level with him, held his arm and told him he was not allowed to hit. He responded with a lot of red faced yelling. And then he ran away. I managed to get him cornered like a calf with Mad Cow, and knelt down in an attempt to contain his flailing body and get a coat on this child. His teacher brought his nuk over which settled him down juuuust enough to at least have him dressed appropriately for winter.

At this point I couldn't tell if I was sweating from wearing a winter coat inside while wrestling a wild boar with the temperament of a wolverine or if it was from sheer embarrassment. So, I apologized for my biting child, asked if anyone was interested in taking him home, shockingly nobody volunteered, and we left.

So I'm feelin' pretty sure I have this parenting thing down pat.

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