Did we talk about pee yesterday? Too bad.

I had to stop at Target on my way home last night because...well because I have a child and I swear when you have at least one of those, you are required to go to Target at minimum twice a week.  So as we are walking in, I asked Alex if he had to go to the bathroom.  And shockingly the boy that drank almost a full sippy cup of juice has to pee.  After careful deliberation over which stall to use, making sure he was out of the stall before the super loud toilet flushed, and hand washing, we were on our way to get the two things I needed.

We get to the opposite corner of the store and he informs me he has to poop.  So we make the trek back to the bathroom with no less than 12 stops to look at something "awwwwwessssssoooommme."  After agreeing each time to the awesomeness of the wares of Target, I would ask him if he has to poop.  And every time I would get the response, "oh! oh yeah! yep!"  We finally get to the bathroom, park the cart, take off his shorts, underwear and shoes because who can poop while wearing shoes?, and he tells me he doesn't have to go.  I call bullshit.  So I told him he needed to try again.  And this is where the newest and most ridiculous part of his potty training comes in.

A couple weeks ago, this same situation occurred.  He really wasn't having any of sitting there and trying to poop, so I said he had to try while we sang a song.  He agreed and the first song that popped into my head was fucking Afro Circus.  Which is annoying enough when we are at home.  But really really takes the cake in a completely full Target bathroom.  But whatever, he pooped, we finished shopping and went home.

Of course within 15 minutes of being home, he was running around in a tshirt and his underwear because I cannot get that kid to keep pants on to save my life.  We have come to an understanding that underwear is required at the dinner table and outside.  Good good.  So while he is running around like a maniac with Lightning McQueen plastered all over his butt, I was talking to our new-ish neighbor.  A couple of minutes into our conversation, Alex comes running over in nothing but his tshirt and super excitedly tells me he pooped in the yard!  Like Aiden!  The neighbor burst out laughing, and I look over and sure enough there is an Alex turd sitting on what used to be grass before this drought, next to the sidewalk.  I did my best to maintain any composure, asked my neighbor if he was really happy they moved in next to us, and immediately walked Alex inside while telling him it is NOT OK TO POOP IN THE YARD.  His response?  Why Mom?  Ummm, because it is disgusting and you are not a feral cat.

I went inside to get a wipe to pick up the turd and transport it to a more appropriate place like, oh I don't know, a toilet!?!?!  Travis heard the ruckus and asked what was going on.  And when I told him, he of course laughed and then proceeded to tell me that he thinks Alex must be a man of steel.  Why you ask?  Because, and I quote, "he has wanted to poop in the yard for like 2 months and he just finally now gave in to that temptation."  Ok, what.  I think we have a bigger issue to address than our 3 year old's will power.

So this morning, all was back to normal.  I dropped him off, his teachers had a good laugh about the yard pooper and I went to work.  Only to get a text message a couple hours later:

We are outside riding bikes and Alex just dropped his pants and peed.  LOL

Fantabulous.  But, as my sister pointed out, given last night's events that message obviously could have been a lot worse.

I am not 100% sure, but I think these are signs that Travis and I are totally succeeding at rearing a child.  We should do this again some time.