Friday: Alex's cough seems to be gone.
Saturday: Cough revisits briefly, but then leaves.
Sunday: Alex slams a bunch of juice and then coughs so hard he barfs all over his car seat.
Monday: Cough seemingly on its way out.
Today: If I have to say "cover your mouth please" one more fucking time, I just might maim my child.
Seriously, it is not a hard concept to grasp. When you are expelling air and spit particulates from your mouth at Mach 7, put your hand over your mouth. Also, when you have an insane woman saying "cover your mouth please" over and over and over to you, it's gonna stick in your mind. If you can figure out when to exclaim Shit! at the appropriate time through simple observation, you can figure out when to cover your mouth.
I tried everything I could think of this morning. Sweetly reminding, sternly asking, angrily losing my patience and yelling, acting goofy and crazy while dancing and singing a reminder for him to cover his damn mouth. Nothin'.
This seems to be right in line with a new behavior. Apparently my darling 2 year old has situational deafness. Not a real thing you say? I disagree. That kid will be at my side within seconds of me opening a candy wrapper. I.e., not deaf. However, he will continue touching something I told him to stop touching while standing right next to him...suddenly deaf. But obviously only deaf through active choosing. And when this situation arises, and I get down on my knees and tell him to look at me in my feeble attempt of reversing the chosen deafness, he looks at me with this fabricated clueless expression and plainly says, "What."
I will tell you one thing..situational deafness for sure leads to temporary insanity. I will keep you posted on its long-term side effects. My projection: full blown psychotic break.
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