Not ready

So last night something new happened. It seems as though something new happens every day, but this was a bad something new.

Alex was upset. Something about his hair not being combed the way he wanted it and his outfit having too many alligators and not enough guitars. So he was engaging in his version of crying. Basically a lot of noise highlighted with flailing arms, an open mouth, and a red face. But then there it was. A single tear. Right there on the side of his eye. He was actually crying. I was doing pretty well dealing with the crying he was doing before. It could get a bit frustrating, but we could deal. This new addition was not approved and I am not ok with it. Seeing an actual tear just about ripped my heart out. Before the tears, it seemed his crying was more him just yelling at us for not knowing what the hell we are doing and therefore not knowing what he wanted when he wanted it. It seemed more of an anger thing. But that little bit of wetness next to his eye...He's not angry anymore. He's sad. In an instant I realized I never never NEVER want my child to be sad.

I am not positive, but I think this may become a problem when I need to say no, or maybe just maybe have to discipline my little faux-hawk rocker. Seriously, his hair is fucking awesome.