I am half way. 20 weeks. As I may have mentioned before we have an ultrasound on Monday. I cannot wait. There is an impressive amount of women I know that are pregnant right now as well. They have all had ultrasounds and I have gotten to see the pictures. It is killing me wondering what this kid looks like!
It's also bothering me that I have not felt anything moving yet. I read that you shouldn't dismiss what feels like gas bubbles as gas bubbles because it might be your baby moving. So I felt something and thought, aaahhhh? Is that it? Then I farted.
One of the preggo chicks I know said she had the same no movement issue, but when she went in for the ultrasound the baby was rockin' out in there. The tech said that depending on where everything implants in the uterus you may not feel anything until later than others. Perfectly explained. That should comfort me right? Ha! Wrong!
I know that all people are different and special in their own way, so why should growing a kid be an exception? I know that logically. Logic is not something I am governed by anymore. I laugh, manically, in the face of logic. It does not stand a chance against my morbid imagination. In my mind the only reason I cannot feel anything moving is because something is terribly wrong. I have done something wrong over the last almost four weeks since I was comforted by the squishing heartbeat. I am sure of this.
The small part of my brain that is still able to function properly using memory skills, logic, and all things normal people have come to expect, that part of my brain knows I am being silly. That part knows there is nothing amiss, and come Monday we are going to see a little alien looking thing having a good ol' time in there. I wish that part of my brain was bigger.
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