One of my favorite people just had her second child. A beautiful baby girl. And her family is so happy and cute. And I couldn't be happier for them. But then the whole thing sinks in and turns into self reflection. 'Cause it's all about me, duh.
And then I get back in the never ending, tail chasing thought process of having only one kid. All of the questions come bubbling up to the surface like an infected blister. Will Alex be ok if he doesn't have a sibling? Is this the most selfish thing in the world to not give him a sibling? Should I really be basing any decision on the mental state of a 2&1/2 year old?
There were a couple weeks a little while back that I thought this decision had been made for me. Normal bodily functions were not happening on time, if you get what I'm sayin'. And I have to admit, I found myself relieved. Not relieved at the thought of growing and birthing and raising another baby...no, no. I was relieved that I didn't have to think about it anymore. What was done was done. Out of my hands. The decision had been made for me, and we were just going to have to move forward from there.
Turns out, there was no reason to be relieved...which in turn made me kind of relieved.
Round and round and round we go.
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