Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Transcending life lesson

Yesterday had Monday status written all over it from the word go.  My alarm went off and I audibly sighed my disapproval.  But, instead of giving in to that feeling, I made a conscious choice to shake it off and have a good morning.  So I got up instead of hitting snooze again.  I started getting ready and then started a Backyardigans episode and fast forwarded far enough that it would be done in time for us to leave on time.  And then I woke up Alex.  He got dressed during the show and we were headed out the door on time for the first time in months.  The plan was working!

And then we got in the car.  I asked him to count so I could start the car.  He said he didn't want to.  Knowing better, I asked for clarification 4 times.  All 4 times he assured me that no, he did not want to count.  So I bit the bullet, started the car and braced for impact.  And it's a good thing I did.  Turning that key over opened the door to a shitstorm that lasted the entire trip to day care.  When he wasn't crying he was telling me he wanted to count but I didn't let him.  When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I snapped asking him "When?!  When were you going to count????  'Cause I asked you 4 times and you said no, so for my future reference could you please tell me WHEN you were going to tell me you wanted to count???!!??!"

Then bad turned to worse when we got into his room.  He didn't want me to leave and was throwing a sad fit.  A sad, loud, drawn out, tear stained fit.  And while he was doing this, I watched the minutes click by making me late to work...again.  I finally got out of there in one relatively in tact piece and just yelled and banged on the steering wheel for the first 2 miles of my drive to work.

Given the morning's activities, I figured he would have a red light day for sure.  Which was going to be made even better when we got home to a mauled and now dead for certain fish.  But when I got there, he was happy and on the green light.  Apparently the morning was awful, but after his nap he was great for the rest of the day.

We got home and he wanted to stay outside and shovel the snow in the yard.  Perfecto!  You stay out here and shovel, but I have to do something inside real quick like.  That something was retrieving Dos from his watery grave.  A quick side note...I didn't buy a net when we got everything else.  I don't know why, but I didn't.  So now I had to figure out how to get this fish out.  Luckily he was laying in one of the plants pretty close to the top.  I grabbed a spoon and a bag and headed in.  But when I touched him with the spoon, he swam away!  Now I had to grab a live fish without a net.  It turned out to be easier than anticipated.  He was so far on the brink of death, I easily scooped him up in a measuring cup.

I went outside and told Alex what was going on...kinda.  I told him Uno and Dos were NOT getting along so I had to take Dos out of the tank.  But then things go a bit to the lying side.  I told him I was going to take Dos back to the pet store(True!) so they could take care of him and make him feel better(Lie!), and that I would ask the pet store dude what fish Uno would get along with(True! but kinda with a hope that there are none).  He was totally on board with that.

As we were sitting down to read books before bed, Alex asked if he could, "talk to Uno a second."  Of course.  So he climbed up on his step stool, opened the 3"x1" little door on the top of the tank and gave Uno a little talking to.  "Uno...you were not being nice to Dos.  It's not nice to wrestle your friends.  Mommy is going to find a different fish to live with you, but you have to be nice to your friends.  If you aren't nice to your friends, they won't play with you and you will be lonely.  Ok?  Ok."

I swear, like any moment now, someone is going to jump out of a cabinet and yell, "Surprise!  You're on Candid Camera!  For the last 3 years!"

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