The heart shredding look

We have the morning routine down pretty pat now. Pretty much the only variance in the routine is if Alex takes a nap or not between waking up and when we have to leave. But this morning he added an element I wasn't expecting. And holy shit was I not ready to deal with this new element.

When I was leaving daycare, he watched me leave. He didn't seem necessarily sad about it, but was watching like, wait a minute...where are you going? It was a lot like the look Aiden gives me when I leave and she isn't coming with me. It is a kinda sad, but quizzical look. It breaks my heart every single time she does it. She just stands there in the kitchen with her furry little head tilted to the side like, "Why can't I come with you? I love coming with you! Why don't you love me anymore?" And that is exactly how it feels. It feels like you are telling them you don't love them. Like, "No no, you stay here...I have more important things to do than spend time with you." It sucks. And the worst part is, I know it is only going to get harder. When he goes through the crying when I leave thing, I think I am just going to remove my heart all together and leave it at home. Yes, that will be easier. Although with how much he loves the teachers and other kids at his daycare, it wouldn't surprise me if he never goes through that stage. Today I handed him over and his teacher had him all out belly laughing in .4 seconds.