3 Months

This little guy has been invading our lives for 3 months now. It is so strange how I seem to have no concept of this amount of time. On the one hand I cannot believe he is already three months old. I feel like it was just a little bit ago that I was so ready to not be pregnant anymore. Maybe that's because that feeling is still very solidly in place. I saw a pregnant woman on Saturday and my stomach just dropped. I am very happy I am not pregnant anymore. Anywho, back to the boy. Every time I look at him he looks bigger and older. He is already THREE MONTHS OLD! So that's the one hand.

On the other hand, I can't believe it's only been three months. I feel like he has been around forever. It is hard to imagine what we filled our time with before the never ending cycles of taking care of our hairy little beast. Sometimes that forever is a nice feeling. Sometimes it is a hard feeling. At 4:30 this morning when he wouldn't stay asleep and I completely broke down crying from exhaustion...not such a good feeling. But then as I held him, he sighed, smiled through his nuk and fell asleep. Add that to Travis being a rockstar and getting up early so I could sleep, and that bad feeling didn't feel quite so bad. It is unbelievably amazing what 1&1/2 hours of sleep can do.

I love Alex very much. But man this is some hard work. I've said it before, I am sure I will say it a million times within the next 37 days....It's a good thing he's cute.

Forever.

Yesterday was my parents' 40th Wedding Anniversary. 40 years. 40 years of saying goodnight to the same person and waking up to the same morning breath. The more I think about it, the more I cannot wrap my brain around it. Just thinking about how well you would know someone after being married to them for 40 years is crazy.

As we ate dinner yesterday they teased back and forth about how exhausting it is to married to each other for so long. But lurking a tiny little step behind the teasing you can easily see how much they love each other. They have seen so much as a couple. They have survived some scary stuff and some awesome moments. And then they had three girls. For the last 40 years they each have been the other's never ending support.

I have looked to my parents for guidance on how to get through life on many occasions. Their 40th Anniversary is another reason I believe my parents to be two of the most amazing people I know, and I am so grateful that I get to continue growing up with their example to lead me.

Yawn yawn yawnny yawn

There is not enough caffeine on the planet to combat what an infant can do. Last night was insane. I have no idea what the deal was, but that kid would not stay asleep. I ended up "sleeping" in the recliner with him for the majority of the night. My back and neck are not happy with last night's decisions.

I could understand if he had slept an obscene amount during the day. Not the case. It was like he just couldn't get comfortable...unless we were sitting in the recliner. Then he would zonk right out. For obvious reasons I do not want this to become a habit, and was leery about spending the night with him on the recliner, but sometimes you just have to give in and say screw it. There was no way I was going to be able to keep getting up every 4&1/2 minutes all night. Although, it's not like I feel bright eyed and bushy tailed today so I guess it doesn't matter.

Speaking of bushy tailed, the amount of hair I am losing is grossly impressive. When I was knocked up, I didn't lose any hair. Like at all. It was weird. This is a very common thing and I expected it, but it was still weird. I would lose like four hairs in the shower. Which is not a normal occurrence in my experience. Well, apparently my hair is making up for lost time and jumping ship. This is nutty. I am not exaggerating when I say I have to clear the drain of hair twice per shower. And then when I comb my hair after a shower, 37 more pieces fall out. It is nasty. I have read this will end in about 6 months. Hopefully I will not have a shiny bowling ball head by then.

Ah Ha!

I knew I would remember what I wanted to write about at some point!

I joined a mom chat board thingy on babycenter. The website is all full of information about having and raising babies. And once you sign up you can join different "boards". An easy one to pick is the board that has parents of babies born in the same month as your baby. Ipso facto I am a member of the June 2009 Birth Club. Basically parents post comments or questions they would like to discuss with other parents that have kids about the same age. And then other members can comment and give thier thoughts and advice or just plain condolences. It is a nice forum for people like me who don't have any idea what the hell they are doing or how they were approved to have a baby. Basically just like any other chat board, it is a good place to ask questions and share info and ideas.

I like being able to read what other parents are dealing with and how they are dealing with it. I have a problem though. And it is really only a problem because I am a freak. So I am in the June 2009 Birth Club right? So that means I am in the same club as parents with babies born on June 1st, and June 2nd, and June10th. Alex was born on June 29th. Now you wouldn't think a couple weeks would make a big difference but holy guacamole does it make a difference. One whole conversation thread was all about which way babies are rolling over. Ummmm....how about no way? Basically this board has let my stupid lack of logic get the best of me and I am all, Why isn't Alex doing this yet? Is it because I am not a good parent? Yes, that must be it! I am a horrible parent and Alex is going to be light years behind children his same age because I didn't know when and how much tummy time to give him. Lucky for me Kari was there to remind me that all babies progress at different rates and they all pretty much get to the same place before they have to go to school so it's all good.

The other problem I have is all the wacky abbreviations people use on these boards. What the hell is a DD? Oh, you're saying you have a daughter. OK, I get the one D stands for daughter, but what's the other D for? And DH? That's your husband? Again, I get what the H stands for, but that damn D is throwing me off again. It definitely makes me feel like am not one of the cool kids that knows the in's and out's of this hip technological way to get together with other moms. Like I am sitting here in Mom Jeans and they all have on the latest style from Seven.

I'm sure once I get used to it, it will prove to be a handy resource. And the more resources the better.

I quit

I had something I wanted to write about today. I know this may come as a shock, but I forgot what that was. Totally and completely. I don't even have an inkling of an idea of what I wanted to blab blab blab about. Impressive.

Spinning

In seven days, the boy will be three months old. Three months. That seems like a long time. Like if you have a trip, but you aren't leaving for three months it is agonizing. Or can you imagine how long three months in jail would feel. That's a lot of radiator grilled cheese sandwiches. But when one is realizing that is the amount of time they have had a child it seems like a millisecond. The whole I have a kid thing is still quite strange to me.

When I was pregnant I thought that I would have a pretty good grasp on the daily happenings in the kid's and my life by now. I thought wrong. Still on just about a daily basis this kid throws a curve ball into the mix and it is a pitch I have never seen and I have no idea how to hit it. It is amazing how something so little can throw everything and everyone around him into such complete upheaval. The only thing I am sure I have a good handle on every day is the route I drive from home to daycare to work to daycare to home. I've got that down pat! Everything else? Total crap shoot. We are lucky though, because as babies go, I think Alex is a pretty easy baby. If we could get rid of the spazzy meltdowns, I would go so far as to say he is angelic. But I don't want him to get a big head. And those spazzy meltdowns are a good way to keep him grounded.

Another thing that adds to the massive feelings of being overwhelmed is the lack of time. I didn't know that when he was busy stealing my brain he was also sneakily subtracting time from the day. He must have done it in small enough increments so I wouldn't notice. He's smarter than that gummy little smile leads you to believe. It is just unreal how quickly each day passes. By the time I get home from work, get dinner going, feed him, change him, wash bottles, load the dishwasher and eat, it's time for bed. The killer is, you have to do all those exact same things again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. But wait! Then there are many days that just adding one out of the ordinary task to the mix brings on a drowning like feeling. But then you just plug away and get it done. And then fall asleep the second your face smooshes into the pillow.

I honestly do not understand how single parents do it. Any of it. At all. It boggles the mind.

2&1/2 Months

Here he is. 2&1/2 months old. He is finally starting to get some meat on his bones. I should post a picture of his legs and feet. They are super chub. As my dad pointed out this weekend, his feet are fat...even on the bottom. They look like little stuffed sausages. His cheeks are gettin' some chub too. Now we just need to work on getting him past the 4th percentile for weight.

I cannot believe how old he looks. He is already starting to look like a little boy to me. I cannot get past how much fun it is to make him smile and laugh. He cracks me up.

He still has the horrendous breakdowns where nothing can make him happy for more than 4&1/2 seconds. They are not as frequent, but they still suck. It is encouraging that these episodes don't happen as often as they used to, but each one pushes my patience to it's outer most limits. Good thing these baby people are cute.