Flyin' Solo

Travis is in Colorado for a few days, so I am on my own with the boys.  Within an hour and half of Travis leaving yesterday evening, I made Alex cry, he lost Xbox priveledges for a month, and Sam barfed all over his bed and was laying in it.  Killin' it.

I changed Sam's sheets, wiped his head off fairly well, made a mental note to decrustify him in a morning bath, and sent him back off to dream land.  Alex and I got back on speaking terms, had some dinner, and after the longest story a 5 year old can make up about school work, I got him off to dream land.  I headed downstairs, filled my wine glass to the top, and settled on the couch for some TV.

I stopped binge watching Rizzoli&Isles at 11.  Seeing as though I had to re-nuk Sam twice between 8:30 and 11, I figured I was in for a long night, so I went to bed.  Sam proved me right and began a night of waking up hourly for no freaking reason whatsoever.  The dog pulled her usual bullshit and absolutely had to go out at 12:30.  Around 1, Alex woke me up and asked to sleep in my bed.  Alex then went on to wake up four different times, sit up each time and look at the alarm clock and tell me what time it was.  So I had a narration of how often I wasn't getting sleep.  Who wouldn't want that amirite?

Then Sam woke up for the morning at 5.  I got him bathed and fed and put down for a nap by 6:15, so I took a shower.  I finally woke Alex up around 7 only to have him tell me he had an accident which is when I realized he took off his UnderJam and put on regular underwear before climbing into my bed.  I got Alex out of bed finally, and pulled the sheets and mattress pad off the bed.  I put them in a pile on the floor while I turned the water on so Alex could have a super fast bath since he was just laying in a puddle of his own urine.  By the time I got back to the pile of pee sheets, the fold in the mattress pad had created a little crease/funnel situation for the pee to drip off, and I now had a soaking wet pee spot on the carpet because why not.

How do single parents survive?