Chapter 2

As in number two.  A.K.A.:  poop.

We had a successful poop-free bath on Sunday, so I was really shooting for 2 for 2 last night.  No dice.  Everything was going smoothly until the farting started.  Which he giggles and asks "you hear that?" with every single one.  A couple sets of butt bubbles in and I asked him if he needed to poop.  Nope.  No way.  I explained that he could get out, sit on the toilet, and then get back in the tub...but if he pooped in the tub, he had to get out.  Still nothing.  And then the tell tale face appeared.  So I very quickly said he should sit on the toilet, plucked him out of the tub and plopped him down with a towel wrapped around his shoulders.  He sat there a hot minute and supposedly tried to go, but then told me he couldn't.  So I put him back in the tub and all was right with the world for a while.

I turned away for three seconds to grab the fingernail clipper from the cabinet.  I turn back around to see him half standing/half squatting and then I see it.  In the three seconds I was not watching, he let go of a Labrador sized turd and four little satellite turds.  Fantastic.

There are a couple things I don't get.  First, I do not understand how something that big can come out of something that small.  Second, I really do not understand how something that big comes out of something that small so freaking fast!

Also this whole pooping in the tub thing.  I don't get that either.