Helping?

Once again, I have a coworker for my working from home days...

This cold has got to give up sooner or later, right?

Cough Cough Hack

Sam spent the Monday and Tuesday before Christmas home sick with me.  And that little Outbreak Monkey got the rest of us sick.  I woke up at 5am on Christmas Eve to the sounds of Alex's little feet sprinting to the bathroom to throw up.  He didn't have a fever, and I'll spare the details, but it seemed as though his stomach was upset from drainage from some congested sinuses.  We called Gramma and she said most the family was sick anyway, so we better get our butts home for Christmas.  And what Gramma says goes, so we packed up and headed on over.

Alex was ok until mid afternoon and then he went downhill fast.  He was still in rough shape in the morning.  It was about 7:30 when I finally asked him if he remembered what day it was.  He pathetically replied, "Yes.  I remember.  It's Christmas Day."  And when he said "not yet" after I asked him if he wanted to go see if Santa came, I knew we were in trouble.

He did a good job throughout present opening and was super polite.  But he didn't last much longer than opening...

He is still in rough enough shape that he stayed home from day care today.  Lots o' Paw Patrol in the Julius house the last 3 days.

Merry Christmas!

Nothing says "Merry Christmas!" quite like black Angry Birds wrapping paper.  But when you have a 5 year old that is certain Santa knows he likes Angry Birds, and in turn is certain Santa will use Angry Bird wrapping paper for his presents, and you couldn't find any festive Angry Birds wrapping paper...you use black Angry Bird wrapping paper.

Yep.

In case you were thinking I sound like I have things under control lately, I figured I'd share what I discovered last night.

I was looking for an email from Alex's teacher.  And when I look at my email inbox on my phone, it shows the profile pictures of the people included on each email.  It does not do this when I have my inbox open on my computer.  Anywho, while I was scrolling through, I noticed an email she sent that I replied to, and there were two profile pictures sitting side by side.  Her very nice picture and mine.  This.  This is what is attached to every email I have sent my son's kindergarten teacher for the last three months:

Once again, I am the epitome of class and grace.

This baby.

Are you even kidding me with how cute this baby is?

Sage Advice

Latest word I hope he never figures out he's saying incorrectly:  Facesplat.  This is used in lieu of "faceplant."

"Mom, here's a good tip for you...don't ever facesplat...it'll hurt."

Noodle Store Adventures

I had a couple errands to run on Sunday, and since the other adult in our household had a self-induced stomach ache, I took the boys with me.  The first stop was Alex's haircut.  All went well until Sam pooped.  I went into the bathroom to change him and there was no changing thingy on the wall, so I put the little changing mat I have on the floor and put Sam on it.  And he was pissed.  Screamed the whole time I was changing him...in a very echoy bathroom.  Oh well.

As we got into the car after the haircut, I noticed a tear in my jeans.  Right at the bottom of the zipper.  I noticed this because I could see my red underwear through it.  Now I had a decision to make.  Go the four minutes back to the house and change my jeans, or take the chance that the tear wouldn't go any farther and my shirt was long enough to cover it.  Oh, I took the chance.  But the sad part is what swayed me...I really really didn't feel like taking my shoes off to change my jeans and then have to retie them.  That was what sealed the deal for me.  I am not proud of that.

The next stop was the bookstore.  All went well there and I managed to not show my underwear to anyone.  Including one of Alex's day care teachers who was there as well.  This bookstore is in the same strip mall as Noodles.  Alex saw the Noodles sign, gasped, and asked if we could have lunch there.  Here's the thing:  he loves Noodles.  But 97% of the time we go, he ends up throwing up in the bathroom.  Usually it's because he's taking too big of bites.  Sometimes I think he just likes the excitement.  Other times I think he does it out of habit.  But rare are the times we make it out of Noodles without a dramatic sprint to the bathroom.  I told him we could go, but that he had to promise to take small bites the whole time because we had Sam with us and I couldn't leave Sam sitting on the table while I ran to the bathroom with Pukey McPukerton.  He promised, and again I found myself taking a chance I wasn't sure was going to pay off.

We ordered, found a table, got situated, and awaited the arrival of our food.  Within seconds of sitting, Alex very loudly asked, "Why does it smell so bad in here?"  I tried to quietly explain to him that he was smelling the perfume of the lovely elderly woman sitting behind us.  "Why would someone wear that much yucky smelling perfume?" he shout whispered.  I don't know honey.  I would have moved to a different table, but there were a scant few open, and we had the stroller and car seat in addition to the two of us.  I was certain the yucky old lady smell was gonna make this kid vomit.  I reminded him to be polite and we went back to waiting.  Once the food got there, he was very conscious and verbal about taking small bites.  And he did really well until the very end.  He took a huge forkful of noodles and looked at me with slight panic.  I calmly asked if he had too much in his mouth and instructed him to spit it back in his bowl.  I did that calmly while terror streaked through my body like lightening.  I did a quick survey of our fellow retaurant attendees, located the nicest looking one, and was seconds from asking a complete strange to keep an eye on my sleeping baby while also not stealing him.  Luckily, I did not have to call on the hopeful kindness of strangers...with a few sips of Sprite, Mr. Alex was right as rain.

You'd think not dealing with puke would be the highlight of lunch.  And it was right up there, but Alex topped it with the following conversation:

Alex:  Mom?  When I'm a grown-up, will you still be alive?
Me:  I'm planning on it.
Alex:  Are you sure?  'Cause that's a long time.
Me:  Well, I'm a grown-up and Gramma and Grandpa Z are still alive, so see?
Alex:  K.  'Cause do you remember that thing we were talking about?
Me:  No...
Alex:  Ok.  It's just that I always want you to be with me.
Me fighting tears with every fiber of my being:  I will always be with you buddy.

And that was only topped with a purchase of a remote control Yoshi that can climb the walls.   Yes, I know it's almost Christmas and he's spoiled and I shouldn't have spent the money and I should have made him wait.  But...it's a Yoshi that can climb the walls.  That shit was comin' home with us.

Winners!

Day care had a pop top collection contest to have a big ol' pile of pop tops to donate to Ronald McDonald House in Madison just before Christmas.

Back story:  Travis has been collecting the tops of cans for well over a year.  Did he have a fundraiser?  Nope, not one he was aware of anyway.  For over  year I have been finding little piles of pop tops everywhere.  In the kitchen, on his dresser, in the dryer.  It has been driving me mad.  And then I got the note in our family cubby at day care.  I brought it home and handed it to him while telling him his ship has finally come in.

Day care posted a picture of the results of the contest.  Pretty sure it looks as though that Julius family has a drinking problem...

Sentences

Yesterday was NOT an all smiley face day for one Mr. Alex.  In fact, yesterday was a day wrought with disrespect toward his teachers.  His teachers all pointed out that he was not an instigator in any of the "collective behavior incidents," but he was an active participant.  I was first told he was having a rough day by his teacher when I was in making copies for her.  And then I got a call from the office staff explaining that the boys involved in the "collective behavior incidents" were so out of control during the time the teachers were keeping them in from recess as a punishment, they had to be separated in the office.  And then I could hear him screaming during his time out at day care...while I was inside and he was outside.  And then I got to read over his daily behavior report and the incident report from the office, sign both and put them back in his folder.

Needless to say, I was not a happy Mama Bird.

While we were getting in the car to go home, he was whining that he didn't want to go home because it was going to be boring.  I quickly assured him it was by no means going to be boring.  Why?  Because he earned himself wall washing.  A friend of mine makes her daughter wash walls as a punishment and it was the only thing I could think of.  I can't just have him sit in a time out.  Doesn't do any good.  Wall washing it is.

But once we got home, I realized that would most likely cause more of a mess than anything, so I quickly changed my mind.  I told him to get one of his notebooks and come sit at the table.  And then I had him write, "I am sorry for yelling."  And as soon as he told me he was done, I said, "Write it again."  And when he was done with that one?  "Write it again."

There were a lot of tears and claims that it was too hard and taking too long.  But after about the 10th "Write it again." I think it made a dent.  After he finished that one, he asked if he could write a note to his gym teacher saying he was sorry for being disrespectful.  I let him only write that one once.

Stamp It Up!

Wanna guess who got a blue snowflake stamp in the stocking St. Nick left at day care for him?

The one on his neck is killin' me.  It looks like a prison tattoo.  

This was all accomplished during the 4 minute drive home from daycare.

Listening...and listening...and listening

This is currently my favorite picture of Alex with one of his aunts.  Her expression sums up pretty much every person's feelings when listening to one of his long winded stories or massive instructions for whatever game he has concocted.  It's a solid mix of "ooooooh shit, how am I supposed to remember all of this?"  and, "Ok...is he done now?  no...not yet...maybe now?"

Fancy Tree

Alex and the little girl that lives next door hung the ornaments on the tree.  Can you tell they are not very tall...and then only a little taller when using a Lightning McQueen step stool?

The other sporatic ornaments and "icicles" were randomly placed by goofy nephews.

He'll Be Moving Out Soon

So first this kid loses a tooth and then yesterday.  Yesterday.  YESTERDAY!

I was upstairs going through another size of clothes that Sam has already outgrown, and I heard Alex messing around in the kitchen.  I heard a chair being pushed around, some cupboards opening, the refrigerator opening and closing.  I went down to the kitchen to see what mischeif my little man was getting himself into only to find him MAKING HIMSELF A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWHICH.  All by himself.  Just sitting at the kitchen table, making himself food, like it was no big deal.

While holding back tears, I commented on how proud I was of him.  He just looked up and said, "Fanks, Mom.  Can you open the jelly jar though?  It's kiiiiiiiiinda sticky."

Slippery Little Suckers

Previously on Chocolate Sprinkle:  Alex lost a tooth at school on Friday...

The tooth apparently came out while he was eating his green beans during lunch at school.  Such a good boy eating healthy food!  He told me he bit down on a green bean and then noticed his tooth was inside the shell of the bean and "I was like, 'What?!  That's not supposed to be in there!  And then I knew I lost my tooth.'"

So he took the tooth out of the bean and went to the office to get a treasure box that they give to kids when they lose teeth at school so they can safely take them home.  But instead of taking his directly to his backpack, he gave in when another kid asked to see it.  And that kid apparently only sees with his hands and not with his eyes, because he grabbed the treasure box out of Alex's hand and sent the tiny white tooth flying out of the box and bouncing down the expansive white tile floor of the hallway.  So instead of coming home with the first tooth to fall out of his little mouth, he came home with an empty treasure box and an apologize letter from that kid.  I am not happy with that kid.

Anywho, we decided to write a letter to the toothfairy explaining what happened:

"Dear toothfairy i lost my tooth at school and i kan't find it."

He also told me he was going to be sure to sleep with his mouth open so the toothfairy could see the gap in his mouth where the tooth used to be so she would know he wasn't lying.  At first I was all, "Awwww, how cute is that?!"  And then I realized that his little mind had already worked out that people might lie about losing teeth to extort money from the toothfairy.  And then I got scared about how his mind works again.

Since I'm a super on top of my shit mom, we finally put the letter under his pillow last night, and sent him off to dream land.  This morning he came into my room all sleepy-eyed and naked, donning his Angry Birds blanket at the longest cape ever, and said good morning.  I asked if he checked to see if the toothfairy came and he lit up like the stage at a Liberace show and ran back into his room.  He threw his pillow off his bed to find a $2 bill pressed to the sheet.  He looked up at me with the biggest smile and exclaimed, "She decided to be SO NICE to me!"

Obligatory picture even though the Awkward Picture Face is still in full effect:

Gettin' Old

Alex lost a tooth!!!

....

And then he lost the tooth.

Of course he did.  Picture and story update to be posted once I talk to him.

Who me?

Who me?  You think I'm cute?

Can't do it

I still haven't cut Sam's hair.  I just can't do it.  It gets tangled when we wash it and it gets greasy super fast, but how do you expect me to give up hair like this:

Observant

Last night while I was getting Alex's bath ready, a full week after the untimely death of Mark the Caterpillar, he looks up at me and says, "Hey Mom...is Mark still with us?"  Nope.  But good lookin' out kiddo.

That Special Time of Year

"Hey Mom!  Mom!  Mooooom!

.....

Do I look like Santa?"

That one little half raised eyebrow speaks volumes to this kid's personality.