Jumbled Up.

My head is all jumbled up inside. It may be due to the incredible amounts of food and adult beverages consumed while in California. Yeah...Yeah, that's it! It's all because of California and the naughty people that live there!

We had so much fun on our trip! Too much Thai food, followed by too much Shock Top beer. Only to be topped with Muir Woods, winery tastings, and Cuban food. To be followed with the most deliciously disturbing crock pot full of nacho cheese I have ever laid on eyes on. Oh yeah, we saw some stuff in San Francisco too. Fun was had.

This is where the jumbled head comes in. During all the fun and lack of responsibility, I had a little taste of our old life. We had money to spend and nothing holding us back. It was glorious. I had a hard time getting on the plane to come home. To be honest, I cried on the plane. Yes, I missed my beasts. But in no way, shape, or form did I want to be smacked in the face with real life again. I just wanted to stay in La La Land a bit longer. A really big bit longer.

But alas, we came home. And when I got out of the car at my parents' house, Alex's face lit up when our eyes met. And the dog just about slapped herself in the teeth she was wagging so hard when we opened the door. Now for the part where I suck. All that being happy to see each other, and a part of me still wanted to go back. What kind of a mother feels that way?

Anywho, yesterday we spent the day at home. All of us. Trav, me, the boy and the dog. And we had a really good day. The guilt feelings were subsiding and I was feeling much better about all of this when I went to bed.

And then this morning hit. Holy shit. Travis was impossible to wake up...thank you Tuesday night concert. The boy spent the entire morning working on perfecting his "Rabid Chicken on Meth" act. And the dog clearly wanted to rip the face off of every dog that walked past the house. All sorts of Awesome. With a capital freaking A. I was fighting back tears while carrying the flailing chicken I call a child to the car.

So what does all of this add up to? Who the hell knows. All I can say for certain is that being an adult is hard. Being a mom is even harder. But it's all worth it right? Right??? I think so. The feelings that overwhelm me when I see my dog sitting all sweet when the neighbor dogs go by, or watching Alex as he figures out how to use a new toy tell me that it is worth the effort. Even though there are many days I don't feel like the juice is worth the squeeze...I love my beasts.