My back is not doing well. I had a steroid injection last Wednesday to try to right this wonky nerve. The injection can take 2-5 days (and possibly up to two weeks) to take effect. And in the mean time, you can experience "flare ups." Any guesses on where we currently are? 6 days in, no relief, and a whole boat load of flare up. Basically the pain is as bad as it was at the beginning of this mess. So when I can stand and try to accomplish even the smallest of tasks, it usually ends up with me wincing, yelping, and rushing for the couch or bed or any horizontal surface where I can lay on my back, but kinda tilted to the right side. Super fun.
This whole thing is beyond frustrating, but one thing that is really breaking my heart is I don't get to be with Sam as much. I really cannot hold/carry him or pick him up without pretty substantial pain, so we haven't had as much time together lately. I thought it was only bothering me until I picked up from day care yesterday. I was standing there talking to his teacher about his day while she was holding him, and he was getting all sorts of agitated. She handed him to me, and he giggled and snuggled his face into my neck. And this morning he completely lit up when Travis brought him within eye sight of me. So I mean, it's pretty awesome to see the physical manifestation of his love for me, but it's a big ol' punch in the chest at the same time.
Alex has been very sweet about it all. The other night, I got a huge shot of pain when I was laying down to read bedtime stories with him. I was trying to breathe through it with minimal guttural sounds and my eyes closed. I opened my eyes when I felt his little hand on my face. He was about 3 inches from my eyes and said, "Try to be brave, Mom. I'm sorry it hurts you."
And with that, he completely made up for telling me I'm "the worst mom EVER!" on Friday. Why am I the worst mom ever? Because I cut him off after 4 episodes of Paw Patrol. I know. How dare I?
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