Immaturity Strikes Again

 Alex thinks it is hilarious to fart near me as any 11 year old would.  He came over to my desk during a break from virtual school this morning to "give me a hug."  I was immediately treated to a ripper and subsequently a close-to-hyperventilating laughing kid when my window was locked.

Fast forward to present.  I felt a rumbling in my stomach and as I was about to get up to go to the bathroom, I heard Alex coming down from his bedroom/desk to ask me something.  So instead of getting up, I farted right in my chair whilst cackling to myself picturing him sauntering up to my desk to ask whatever ridiculous thing he was going to ask.  

And justice was swift for my immaturity; he yelled his question to me from the top of the stairs.  So here I sit, in my own stink, joke foiled.

1st vs. 2nd Born

 As my mom said:

There are some boys that like to look put together, hair in place, and simply handsome:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand then there are other boys:

Hey There

 "Hey Jackie!  Where've you been?  Whatcha been up to?"

This:

Not pictured?

-2&1/2 months of virtual learning that is starting back up in a little over 2 weeks.

-The other beast child that is FULL ON preteen.

-The dog that has decided exploring the neighborhood is her new favorite hobby...right after her other fav activity of jump-running at anyone walking on our sidewalk like she's a cracked out gazelle.

-My sanity.  Because it's gone.  It packed up and moved on outta here a long time ago.

Those Meddling Kids Will Fix It!

Sam is currently watching a Scooby Doo episode in which the bad guy is called the "Phantom Virus."  He came running into the kitchen and exclamined, "MOM!  I figured it out!  The Phantom Virus is responisible for all of this!  He must have electric sensors all over town that give people the corona virus when they go near the sensors!"

Now if we could just get Fred to set a trap...

The Lazy! It Burns!

Alex just went upstairs from his video game playing/youtube watching lounging couch to make himself something to eat for lunch.

Alex:  MoooOOOooom!!  Do we have any peanut butter?

(Dear reader, the empty container of peanut butter is sitting on the counter he is standing in front of with a grocery list next to it, including "peanut butter.")

Me:  No, but I have it on the list.  Sorry!

Alex (not at me, but loudly):  Oh come ON!  I can't have chili and now I can't have a peanut butter and jelly?  What am I supposed to have for lunch?!?

Me:  Why can't you have chili?

Alex:  There aren't any clean bowls!

Me (after a moment of shocked silence):  Either warm it up in the Tupperware or, oh I don't know, CLEAN A BOWL INSTEAD OF BEING A SPAZ ABOUT IT!

Maybe some home economics should be part of today's homeschool lession.

Lesson Not Learned

"Uuuugggghhhh!  This play dough is so UGLY!"

"Well, when you make a play dough creations with different colors, try to take the colors apart before smooshing them back into the can."

"Oh!  Ok!  ...  Mom!  Look, I flattened my red and white dragon into a road!!"

Melting My Exhausted Heart

Sam took a nap yesterday because he hadn't slept well the night before.  As you can imagine, he was no where near tired at bed time.  I finally convinced him to go to bed at 10:30, and agreed to lay with him.  And he talked and fidgeted and snuggled and made up games and asked questions until 12:15.  I was really close to losing my patience when he asked, "Mama?  What does 'often' mean?"  "A lot."  "No, what does 'often' mean?"  "It means a lot or frequently."  ...  ...  "Oh.  Mama?  I think we should be together more oftenly."