Things Are About To Get Interesting

Last night, Travis was in the living room with Sam and all of a sudden I heard him say, "Ummm...are you seeing this?"  I peeked around the corner to see this:

Travis was as shocked as I was.  He said Sam crawled up to the walker thingy, pulled himself up, and just started walking.  This is a baby that does things on his own schedule thankyouverymuch.

This Baby

"I'll sit here and look really cute like this if you give me pretzels!"

"What the hell do you mean carbs are bad for you?  I will thank you to shut up about it."

Dodge That!

We got a new vehicle!  My Mountaineer was gettin' up there in miles and rust and in order to stop getting rust stains on every single pair of pants I own every time I leaned against the car to get Sam out of his seat, we replaced it.

After looking around, we settled on a Dodge Durango and I love it.  It is ridiculously loaded and I feel slightly shameful driving it.  Alex is completely enamored with the name Dodge.

"Look Mom!  It says Dodge on it...like dodgeball!!  Wouldn't it be cool if you could play dodgeball with the new truck, Mom?  You would totally win!  It would be so awesome!...Well except for when you might accidentally run over people because the truck is so big; that wouldn't be good."

Won't You Be My Neighbor

Don't mind me...I'm just over here making cookies to take to the neighbor's house as an apology for Alex and his friends ringing their doorbell "like at LEAST 11 times" when the little beasts were attempting to retrieve their ball from the neighbor's fenced in yard.

I would address the apology/explanationforthecookies note, but I can't because I don't know either of their names.

And that reminds me that I had to rely on Alex's class roster that lists all the kids' addresses to figure out if the nametag I saw on back to school night was in fact our next door neighbor.  Why couldn't I tell from the desk nametag?  Oh, well that would be because I have no clue what their last name is.  But guess what?!  Not only is our next door neighbor's daughter in Alex's class, I now know their last name.  Winning!

Transportation

According to Google Maps, the bus stop is 66 feet from our house.

Super convenient, right?  Even with stopping to inspect at any foliage that dared fall to the ground, we are there within a minute of leaving our living room.  The living room that houses the couch that Alex spilled his allergy medicine on this morning because he was too preoccupied with fast forwarding commercials during the Mythbusters episode he begged to watch 7 minutes of before we had to leave.  That very living room.  Aaaaaanyway...

We walked out the front door this morning and he stopped dead in front of the garage.  It was at this point he informed me he wanted to bike to the bus stop.  Yep.  He wanted to bike the 66 freaking feet across the street.  I said no because then I would have to drag his bike home.  Oh, but he'll just ride it back to the house when he sees the bus.  Ummmm, then when exactly are you planning on getting on the bus?  Whatever.  Fine.  Ride your bike.  This is not a battle I am willing to fight at 7:08AM.  "Thanks Mom!  Ummmm...where's my helmet?"  Dude.  Not my responsibility to keep track of where your helmet lands after you launch it from your head instead of hanging it on your handlebars like I have suggested every time you get off your bike.  Since it was such a short ride, I proposed he could accomplish the task without a helmet.  BLASPHEMY!  He has to wear his helmet when he rides his bike Mom.  

Finally he found the helmet, and he took off across the street.  I caught up just in time to hear him telling the other kids about his bike and about how I raised the seat up for him because it was too low before.  But the thing is, every time he tells someone I raised the seat for him, he finishes by saying, "She raised the seat so she didn't have to waste all her money buying me a new bike."  Now while it is true that he still fits on the bike and raising the seat was an appropriate course of action as opposed to buying a new bike, never ONCE have I said I would be wasting my money buying him a new bike.  So, if he could stop making me sound like a complete asshole mom, that would be great.

If you need me I will be addressing the scrapes I acquired from the pedals of his bike slamming into the back of my leg while I clumsily steered it the 66 feet back into the garage.

Missed Moment

And while you're enjoying the pictures of Alex's first day of school this year, please know I accidentally ruined all the other parents' opportunities to take pictures of their children getting on the bus because I walked Alex all the way to the steps of the bus and had my big ol' butt/back in the way of all the other children.  Including one neighbor that was putting his daughter on the bus for the first time ever even though she is in 5th grade this year.  Why is this the first time?  Oh, well that would be because he has walked her to school every single day until yesterday.  Don't worry, I'm sure it's not a specific moment of his daughter growing up that he wanted any photographic memories of.

I am clearly selfless and totally aware of my surroundings.  You're welcome neighbors.

♫Back to School, Back to School♫

I'm guessing you have been inundated with back to school pictures the last couple of days, but hey, what's one more, right?

He is officially a 1st grader:

And he's like 90 feet tall.  He had a great first day and was ecstatic that his only "homework" was to tell me one of the rules of his new classroom.  The one that stuck in his brain to tell me?  Two minute bathroom limit...unless you're pooping.