Silly Farmer

Daycare is taking the kids to McDonald's today for lunch and play time.  I reminded Alex about it before we got in the car this morning.  In turn, we sang about the various animals Old McDonald has on his stupid farm...all the way to daycare.

What you want

The older Alex gets, the more I am enjoying our relationship.  He is honing a pretty awesome sense of humor, we can play together more easily and we have a clearer channel of communication.  But, just because we can talk to each other more easily, we are definitely not on the same page any more often.  Lately when I do or don't want to something to happen that he does or doesn't want to, I get the following:

But I do/don't want to.

Yes, dear, I realize you want the opposite of everything I want.  You have made that painfully clear over the last 3 years.  But that isn't really the point, my sweet little sassy trying exhausting little boy.

Morning!

Not gonna lie...waking up to a bright blue eyed, grinning face makes waking up at 6:30 not so terrible.  It was 15 minutes before my alarm, but the snuggles made it worth it.

Bark! Bark!

It was easily a 1,439 degrees and at least 257% humidity yesterday.  There was a breeze, but it felt like Mother Nature just got a new high powered blow drier and was trying it out on the trees.  Needless to say, the dog was not in the mood to play.  Not that she could have played the game Alex wanted to play seeing as though he wanted her up in his fort, laying down, while he pretended to drive the fort on various errands.  So guess who got to pretend she was a dog?  Mama.

I wasn't allowed to talk, just bark.  I had to be sure to display the appropriate emotions when I was told he was leaving for or arriving back from a trip.  I wasn't allowed to walk upright because, duh, dogs don't walk on two feet.  Any time I did stand up, Alex would instructed me to get down on my paws.  He would say it in a super soft, kinda high pitched, talking to a puppy type of voice though, so on my hands and knees I went.  I took pretend dog naps in my pretend dog cage while he was pretend gone.  I was even introduced to the neighbor as his new friend dog.

I might need to get that kid a sibling.  Or a more willing dog at least.

Mama makes the rules!

Last night very quickly became a battle of wills between the beast child and me.  He was in a straight up pushing boundaries type of mood.  I told him he couldn't pick the tomatoes because they are not ripe yet, he said he just wanted to watch them grow.  I told him to put his underwear back on after peeing off the back steps, he threw them in the air and ran away laughing.  I told him he could have some watermelon for a snack, he wanted a popsicle.  Round and round and round we went.

I could feel my breaking point inching closer and closer and I finally asked him, "Why why why must you fight me on everything?!?!"

He stopped dead in his tracks, faced me with an exasperated look, shrugged shoulders, his arms out to the side with palms facing up and informed me, "I have to fight you because I don't know the rules!"

Well then darling son of mine, let me teach you the rules.  They're real simple.

Whatever Mama says is the rules.  End of lesson.

E.S.P.

At 3:42 this morning, Alex crept up the stairs and all bright eyed told me he wanted to sleep with me.  This has become a very frequent request lately.  Not sure what it's all about, but it usually only comes up at bedtime.  I tell him he can sleep with me on Friday, he agrees, all's good.  Last night's middle of the night request was a new one.

I was too tired to fight it, so I told him we could sleep downstairs on the futon.  After helping him gather all five of his blankets, one pillow pet, one ugly doll, and one stuffed dolphin he has named Caesar, we headed into the spare room.  On my way through the door, I stepped in a puddle of dog pee.  So awesome.  As I furiously cleaned it up, Alex sat on the edge of the bed asking what I was doing, and reminding me that dogs don't pee inside, dogs pee outside, right mom? only people pee inside, and only dogs poop outside, right mom? boys poop inside, boys don't poop outside, right mom?

Finally we lay down, get all of the blankets organized with the correct side up, and I inform him that if he doesn't stop fidgeting and go to sleep he is going back to his bed and I am going back to mine.  And finally, finally, we slept.  For an hour.  After an hour, he was wide-eyed in my face saying he was awake.  No.  No no no nonononononononono.  Go. To. Sleep.  Travis made me get up at 6:40 before he left.  Fine.

Alex was eating watermelon and watching Mickey Mouse while I was getting ready.  Since I am not stupid enough to let him have watermelon in the car, I asked if he wanted me to bring some blueberries for the ride. My question was ignored as Mickey Mouse apparently trumps Mom.  So I stood between him and the tv and asked again while also letting him know ignoring me will lead to no tv.  He looked right at me and said no thank you to the blueberries.  Good good.  I threw a GoGurt in my lunch bag next to his juice just in case that grabbed his fancy.

We get half way to day care and he tells me from the back seat that he wants his blueberries.  I laughed and reminded him he said he didn't want any so I didn't bring them.  Which was of course met with a wail of how he didn't say that and he wanted them now and why didn't I bring any blueberries???  I explained once more why we were on a blueberry free journey, he paused for a second and then said, "But I'm counting on you."

It's hours later and I still haven't been able to figure out a response to that.

Wrong MOM.

Just to make sure he proves me wrong every time I say he has accomplished something, Alex stood up while in the bath and peed on the cabinet that's under the sink.  Because why wouldn't ya?