All I hear when I see this....Try it. I dare ya.

I laugh at your time-out

So, time outs aren't having the lasting effect I was hoping for.  They have proven useful for immediately stopping whatever horrendous behavior is happening, but so far the threat of a time out holds no power whatsoever.  So the old "Do you want to sit in a time out?"...nothin.  He even said yes once when I asked him.

I don't know if he really isn't getting the fact that actions have consequences, if he is testing me each time to see if I will really do it, or if he just straight up doesn't give a shit if he sits in a time out.  I truly don't think the first option is even a viable one, but I figure if I throw it in there, it leaves at least one option that doesn't include him being a jerk.

Since those are the cards on the table, I have changed the game.  Sooner or later I will find a game that I can win, right?  When the situation permits, instead of putting him in a time out, I take away whatever thing he is interested at that moment.  You don't want to stop swinging the vacuum cord over your head?  The vacuum is suddenly sleepy and needs to be put away.  You don't want to lay still so I can change your soaked diaper and clothes?  Cars is no longer a viewing option.  And, dude, I do not care at all  that you wanted to have the privilege of turning the tv off.  That option was gone the first time you landed your fat little foot in my stomach.  We shall see what kind of results this attack produces.

And just when I think I cannot possibly deal with him anymore, he does something like this...

This would be his newest "silly face".  He sits in the backseat of the car and says, "Mama, look at me!"  And when I turn around, this is the face he makes.  And then he laughs and laughs.

Sunshine and smiles

Nothing like starting your morning accidentally smacking the leg of your fit throwing toddler while trying to change his diaper and having him fa-reak out.  Lots of gasping for air in between sobs.  He did stop kicking me though...

Decisions

Alex is now actively not listening.  Super duper.  Sometimes he even looks me right in the eye and does whatever it is I have told him not to do.  So infuriating.  He is however quickly learning the definition of consequences.

Sunday evening, he was running around with a Push-Up Pop.  I had told him he could have it, but he had to sit with me while he ate it in an effort to save my parents' white living room carpet while simultaneously not missing the Packer game.  For a short time, he agreed to this arrangement.  And then the sugar hit his blood stream and he took off.  I went after him and told him twice if he didn't sit with me I was going to take the Push-Up away.  Both times he ran away even faster.  I would have only told him once before taking it away, but I couldn't catch the little jerk.  So, he got two warnings.  And then I caught him by the back of his shirt.  And I took the Push-Up and threw it in the garbage.  My walk to the garbage can was set to the "Alex Throwing a Giant Fit" soundtrack.  At which point, I explained to him that had he listened to the instructions I had given him, he would not be in this predicament.  His response?  "I want to listen now!"

Too late sucker.

Good night sweetheart

After we read stories, Alex usually asks me to sing him a song while I hold him, standing in front of his crib.  We have to stand there.  If I try to be lazy and sit with him for the singing portion of the evening, he is very quick to request a new venue.  I pretty much spoil him during pre-bed time, so standing at his crib is where it's at.

Last night, the song he requested?  The ABC's.  Awesome.  So I start singing.  I get to E, and he puts his little hand up and says, "Stop please Mama.  Sing like this..." And he starts singing the ABC's.  Pretty much exactly like I was.  There's not a ton of available variation or artist interpretation allowed with that one.  So I tried again.  Only to get the same response.  So, once more I tried to exactly mimic his singing.  This went on four times until I was laughing so hard I couldn't sing and he was shaking all over in arms because my whole body was shaking with laughter.

Tough crowd at the Julius house.

Lost & Found

We have been missing one of Alex's juice cups for about two weeks.  I found it this morning while retrieving his other juice cup from under the back seat of my car while simultaneously picking up the scattered cheerio/froot loop mix that had just moments before been spilled everywhere because my darling boy doesn't like the lid on his snacktrap that is there specifically to stop the snacks from spilling out.

Found:  a zillion pieces of cereal and 2 juice cups.

Still missing:  my sanity.

Fun with X-rays

So, the dry cough the beast had turned into a deep chest cough which turned into a visit to the doctor to make sure it is just a cold and nothing nastier is growing in his lungs.  The doctor listened to him breathe, poked around a bit and decided she didn't think it was anything bad, but wanted chest x-rays to be sure.

Chest x-rays.  Of a 2&1/2 year old.  This outta be good.

As soon as we got in the x-ray room, Alex very obviously knew something was up.  And all hell broke loose when I started to take his shirt off.  He was not cool with being in a weird room and not being completely clothed.  Luckily, they only had to take two x-rays and since I am not knocked up with a second coming of the beast child, I could stand with him which helped.  He was still upset, but at least I could keep him looking at me and, although he was crying, he would hold still.

We went back to the regular exam room to look at the x-rays with the doctor.  She didn't see anything other than run of the mill congestion in his lungs.  So she isn't worried.  Good good.  I have to tell you, it freaked me out to see my baby's little skeleton on that x-ray.  I don't know why, but I did not like it.  I also wasn't a big fan of the fact that from that picture you could tell that kid was gonna poop at any minute.

So as the doctor is telling me she isn't concerned by what the x-rays show and telling me that we should just keep doing what we have been doing, I realize I am sitting on my knees on the floor looking up at her like an obedient little puppy.  I was down there entertaining Alex while we were waiting, but apparently did not see it fit to get up and sit in a chair to talk to a woman that has more knowledge in one brain cell than I have in my entire block head.  Stay classy Julius.

I pack up the boy, drop him back at daycare, and head back into the insane bee hive that is my computer and phone at work.  As I am unpacking my stuff at my desk, my coworker and I are catching up on the morning.  And I notice he is looking at my chest a lot.  Not a normal occurrence.  So finally I look down.  And there is a giant Tonka Truck sticker of a semi-truck plastered over my left boob.  C-l-a-s-s-y.